Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 14:20     Subject: Crazy shit my mom says
Anonymous wrote:Mom: "Oh! So you breastfeed!"

Me: Yes. Both times for one year each

Mom: "Oh. That's some white people shit!"

Me:


The last line was supposed to be Me:
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 14:19     Subject: Crazy shit my mom says
Mom: "Oh! So you breastfeed!"

Me: Yes. Both times for one year each

Mom: "Oh. That's some white people shit!"

Me:
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 14:09     Subject: Crazy shit my mom says
"I think your brother's fiancee is a gypsy."
"A gypsy?"
"Yes, her name is Romana."
"She's Brazilian. And you are thinking of the ROMA. That is what they are referred to, not gypsies."
"Oh, well, she's very pretty!"

Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 14:08     Subject: Crazy shit my mom says
No wire hangers, ever!
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 14:07     Subject: Crazy shit my mom says
Anonymous wrote:My mother was visiting the city from her upper-middle class suburbs in which she's lived for 40 years (she is about 60). We are white, and in a car, at an intersection. A black man carrying a long (non-fold up) umbrella strides across the street in front of us.

My mom: Oh, there are a lot of those where we live.
My sister and I: A lot of what? A lot of black people?
My mom: Black people carrying assault rifles down the street, yes
My sister and I: In your GATED senior community of upper-middle class people?
My mom: Yes
My sister and I: Dad, do you find this to be the case?
My dad: No. I have no idea what your mother is talking about.
My sister: Mom, that was an umbrella, not an assault rifle
My mom: well, it looked like an assault rifle
Me: Mom, have you ever seen an assault rifle in real life?
My dad: No she hasn't.

I feel like it'd be a bit of an understatement to say my mom's a racist.


this cracked me up.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 14:05     Subject: Crazy shit my mom says
I should've know you'd know where to find the boys and the booze.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 14:01     Subject: Crazy shit my mom says
Anonymous wrote:My mother was visiting the city from her upper-middle class suburbs in which she's lived for 40 years (she is about 60). We are white, and in a car, at an intersection. A black man carrying a long (non-fold up) umbrella strides across the street in front of us.

My mom: Oh, there are a lot of those where we live.
My sister and I: A lot of what? A lot of black people?
My mom: Black people carrying assault rifles down the street, yes
My sister and I: In your GATED senior community of upper-middle class people?
My mom: Yes
My sister and I: Dad, do you find this to be the case?
My dad: No. I have no idea what your mother is talking about.
My sister: Mom, that was an umbrella, not an assault rifle
My mom: well, it looked like an assault rifle
Me: Mom, have you ever seen an assault rifle in real life?
My dad: No she hasn't.

I feel like it'd be a bit of an understatement to say my mom's a racist.


She definitely has eyesight issues, too.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 13:56     Subject: Crazy shit my mom says
My mother was visiting the city from her upper-middle class suburbs in which she's lived for 40 years (she is about 60). We are white, and in a car, at an intersection. A black man carrying a long (non-fold up) umbrella strides across the street in front of us.

My mom: Oh, there are a lot of those where we live.
My sister and I: A lot of what? A lot of black people?
My mom: Black people carrying assault rifles down the street, yes
My sister and I: In your GATED senior community of upper-middle class people?
My mom: Yes
My sister and I: Dad, do you find this to be the case?
My dad: No. I have no idea what your mother is talking about.
My sister: Mom, that was an umbrella, not an assault rifle
My mom: well, it looked like an assault rifle
Me: Mom, have you ever seen an assault rifle in real life?
My dad: No she hasn't.

I feel like it'd be a bit of an understatement to say my mom's a racist.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 13:49     Subject: Re:Crazy shit my mom says
My mom says lots of crazy shit. Here's a fun one:

We were in my sister's small Southern town for a graduation. There is a very large Catholic church in the center of this small Bible-belt town, so I asked my sister the history of the church. Just making conversation in the car, a little curious, etc.

My mom perks up and says "It's for all of the Mexicans".

To which my sister, trying to actually give an answer, says "We actually don't have a large Latino population here"

My mom's reply: "Then who works your fields??"

She was genuinely asking.

Of course now we ask that to each other a lot - "who works your fields??"
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 13:48     Subject: Crazy shit my mom says
"My pussy smells like a hamburger joint."

"You can't go out and drink yourself to death every time a turd comes out sideways."

Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 13:44     Subject: Re:Crazy shit my mom says
OP again. It isn't the not being allowed to eat the dogs that is the WTF moment, it was that she just throw this out in mid-conversation about her Kindle.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 13:40     Subject: Crazy shit my mom says
Anonymous wrote:no, you are clearly neurotic and bordering persecutory delusions. you need meds.


Maybe I'm just not as much of a planner as my mom seems to be.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 13:32     Subject: Crazy shit my mom says
no, you are clearly neurotic and bordering persecutory delusions. you need meds.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 13:30     Subject: Crazy shit my mom says
While watching my DD at gymnastics she notes that upper body strength is not good for gymnastics. Is she insane?
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 13:27     Subject: Crazy shit my mom says
So yesterday while visiting my mom she just annouced (no preamble, not related to anything I think I've ever said) that if our family were starving, and would die of starvation, she would not be able to eat her two dogs to live. *WTF, mom.* I just asked if the cat would be fair game.