Anonymous
Post 01/20/2013 13:28     Subject: Men at monitoring appointments
9:33 - I actually get what you are saying. To me, it feels as uncomfortable as men hanging out outside of a dressing room. When I have to empty my bladder at my doctor's office in a bathroom that is located in the hall, I can't stand when I walk out and there is a man or men hanging out in chairs right outside the bathroom. If men come, I think they should be brought back only when there is a room for them to go into. Just my 2 cents.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2013 13:11     Subject: Men at monitoring appointments
Anonymous wrote:Maybe the PP doesn't want or need her husband here. Nothing wrong with that. Or maybe he has a job like mine does (physician) where he can't take off every single morning to go for blood draws. I just don't see the need for men to be there for every single appointment. I don't feel in the least bit slighted that my husband doesn't come to all of my appointments. To me, it is actually easier for me to just go. Nothing earth shattering goes on when they are counting follicles.



And that's fine FOR YOU. No problem. You may not see "the need" for men to be there, but can you open your mind to understand that others may decide to handle their appointments differently? It's not about one way being better than the other. What's not okay is for anyone to judge those whose spouses do come to the appointments, whether it's a blood draw or an iui.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2013 13:04     Subject: Men at monitoring appointments
PP here - I'm not talking about actual procedures. I'm talking about the men who come to very single monitoring appointment.

My husband comes for procedures that he has to be there for. But for others, I usually just go alone or have my mom drive me if it is something that will be painful. To the above PP, my husband too has a job that he can't take off for every little minor thing. And thank goodness he can't - his job is what allows us to afford all of this.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2013 13:00     Subject: Re:Men at monitoring appointments
My husband only came into the exam room during one pregnancy ultrasound and the transfers, never monitoring appointments. I wouldn't have wanted him to come for those and would have thought it was an imposition on the other women in line. However, he did often wait in the waiting room because we carpool to work. After the appointment, we would get a cup of coffee together and then both walk to work from GW.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2013 12:55     Subject: Men at monitoring appointments
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because of what I am there for. I don't want a bunch of men around while I am waiting to go put my feet up in stirrups in the other room. Infertility is a private thing.


Wow. You really wrote that? So it doesn't matter that the other women in the waiting room are also going through infertility and may rely on the support that their spouse/partner can provide? It doesn't matter that these men are ALSO going through infertility--watching their spouse go through the emotional and physical pain of infertility and not being able to do much to alleviate it.

None of these men are going into your exam room. Stop making this all about you and your experience in the waiting room. Stop judging others because you didn't ask your spouse to join you. Infertility is hard enough without folks like you glaring with judgement at others who are going through it the way that works best for them.


Well said! My husband wants to be as involved as possible also. I go to the blood draws and ultrasounds on my own, considering I have to go every other day. But my DH does all he can to be there for the actually IUI. I wouldn't have it anyother way. Why are you so concerned about other people PP? We are all going thru this journey and even though our stories are all different we all want the same result.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2013 12:54     Subject: Men at monitoring appointments
Maybe the PP doesn't want or need her husband here. Nothing wrong with that. Or maybe he has a job like mine does (physician) where he can't take off every single morning to go for blood draws. I just don't see the need for men to be there for every single appointment. I don't feel in the least bit slighted that my husband doesn't come to all of my appointments. To me, it is actually easier for me to just go. Nothing earth shattering goes on when they are counting follicles.

Anonymous
Post 01/20/2013 12:34     Subject: Men at monitoring appointments
Anonymous wrote:Because of what I am there for. I don't want a bunch of men around while I am waiting to go put my feet up in stirrups in the other room. Infertility is a private thing.


Wow. You really wrote that? So it doesn't matter that the other women in the waiting room are also going through infertility and may rely on the support that their spouse/partner can provide? It doesn't matter that these men are ALSO going through infertility--watching their spouse go through the emotional and physical pain of infertility and not being able to do much to alleviate it.

None of these men are going into your exam room. Stop making this all about you and your experience in the waiting room. Stop judging others because you didn't ask your spouse to join you. Infertility is hard enough without folks like you glaring with judgement at others who are going through it the way that works best for them.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2013 12:02     Subject: Men at monitoring appointments
Because of what I am there for. I don't want a bunch of men around while I am waiting to go put my feet up in stirrups in the other room. Infertility is a private thing.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2013 11:40     Subject: Men at monitoring appointments
I there because my wife asked me to be there to provide support. PP, why is the presence of men any more an invasion of privacy than the presence of women?
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2013 09:33     Subject: Men at monitoring appointments
OP - I'm with you. I can't believe all of the men there. Unless my husband absolutely has to be there for something, he doesn't come. And we both like it that way. Sometimes I almost feel like it is an invasion of privacy to have so many men in the waiting room.

My husband is very involved too. But the appointment thing - I just don't expect him to be there.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2013 22:17     Subject: Men at monitoring appointments
My DH comes to everything. It's easier than me trying to answer a million questions afterwards. Plus, we are both on this journey together and we want to be there for each other.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2013 21:33     Subject: Re:Men at monitoring appointments
Mine just came with me when he needed to, e.g. he had a deposit to make or he needed to hand-hold me during retrieval
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2013 21:32     Subject: Men at monitoring appointments
During my first cycle (ended up successful) my husband came to all of my monitoring appointments with me. He wanted to be as involved as possible and also wanted to be able to ask any questions that he thought of. Honestly, I think part of it is because our situation is solely male-factor so he felt responsible for the fact that we had to do IVF and wanted to support me as much as possible.

During subsequent cycles he didn't accompany me because he was watching our son at home.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2013 21:02     Subject: Re:Men at monitoring appointments
It could be any number of things... ultrasound for pregnancy, IUI (deposit or procedure), or ultrasound for some other issue.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2013 20:55     Subject: Men at monitoring appointments
I have been surprised to see so many men in the waiting room at monitoring appointments. Are the women who bring their husbands in for ultrasounds already pregnant? If not, are they just there for the follicle count? I'm just curious because I've never considered taking my husband to these appointments. He is very involved but this seems like too much.