No they don't, but it doesn't stop them!
They can say whatever they want - you're in control, so don't let it bother you

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't engage. Just smile and say, "Okay, thanks for sharing. Do you think the Redskins will win this weekend?"

They can share all they want. If you and your partner commit to "Okay, thanks for sharing" and quickly change the subject, they'll stop. And if they don't, just cut your visits short. "Okay thanks. Gotta go!"

+1

Here are some things that work for us:

"Thanks, we'll think about that."

"Interesting. We'll keep it in mind."

"Hmmm. We'll think about that."

"Interesting. We'll ask the pediatrician next time we see her."

The key is to listen in a way that makes the other person FEEL HEARD. You don't have to have a two-way conversation about it.

You never have to explain why you disagree or have chosen a different approach. In fact, if you find yourself doing that, you've gotten sucked in to a conversation you shouldn't be in. Just back off and given a thoughtful, "Hmmm. We clearly need to think more about this one . . . . . " And then change the subject.

GL.

Good advice

Grow up or you are going to have a tough life. Everyone has an opinion and many will feel free to tell you. I know you are a first time mom who knows everything so you should know this already. Smile, nod, move on.

Pick your battles and maybe dont look at it as criticism but concern for their new grandchild. You don't have to take the advice. Just hear them and ignore it. My FIL is currently pissed at me because i insisted that he not drive us back from Christmas dinner because he was drunk. Good times!

Anonymous wrote:I think anyone has the right to give you unsolicited advice.

You have the right to respond or ignore as you wish.

There it is.

Anonymous wrote:Don't engage. Just smile and say, "Okay, thanks for sharing. Do you think the Redskins will win this weekend?"

They can share all they want. If you and your partner commit to "Okay, thanks for sharing" and quickly change the subject, they'll stop. And if they don't, just cut your visits short. "Okay thanks. Gotta go!"

+1

Here are some things that work for us:

"Thanks, we'll think about that."

"Interesting. We'll keep it in mind."

"Hmmm. We'll think about that."

"Interesting. We'll ask the pediatrician next time we see her."

The key is to listen in a way that makes the other person FEEL HEARD. You don't have to have a two-way conversation about it.

You never have to explain why you disagree or have chosen a different approach. In fact, if you find yourself doing that, you've gotten sucked in to a conversation you shouldn't be in. Just back off and given a thoughtful, "Hmmm. We clearly need to think more about this one . . . . . " And then change the subject.

GL.

I think anyone has the right to give you unsolicited advice.

You have the right to respond or ignore as you wish.

My mother freaks out when we don't put DD in her parka in her carseat. Even though I have told her many times that 1) 9 times out of 10, DD gets overheated wearing her parka in the seat and barfs and 2) the puffiness and thickness of the coat makes the carseat strap less effective in an accident and could prove fatal. My mom still mentions it every time we leave her house, as though DD will freeze in her fleece pajamas on a 10 second walk to the car.

I know it sounds like DCUM broken spine syndrome but I literally just ignore her when she says it. I love my mom and life is too short to keep saying the same thing over and over.

Also wearing a snowsuit in the car seat is dangerous. Those things are so puffy.

Of course they have the right to say what they wish--and you have the right to get up and leave.

Seriously, good for you and your DH, OP. it is completely inappropriate for the grandparents to nitpick all your parenting decisions. Who wants to be constantly criticized? Let them stew in their juices for awhile and decide if it is worth it to them to barely see you and keep acting this way.

Don't engage. Just smile and say, "Okay, thanks for sharing. Do you think the Redskins will win this weekend?"

They can share all they want. If you and your partner commit to "Okay, thanks for sharing" and quickly change the subject, they'll stop. And if they don't, just cut your visits short. "Okay thanks. Gotta go!"

Of course they can say what they want but you can also establish boundaries. If you don't want unsolicited advice, tell them you don't want to hear it. If they insist, leave. I'm a big believer in boundaries.

They have a right on the big issues, but not every little thing they disagree with. You are still relatively new parents and therefore may be more sensitive than you might be down the road, but either way you have to develop an ability to let it roll off your back. Don't engage it, if you don't want to, and just give a short, noncommittal response that doesn't leave room for further discussion.

We all have the right to express ourselves. You don't have to oblige them, though.

"Thanks for your input. The pediatrician is very happy with how well she is doing."

We have just had a huge falling out with my in-laws.
The specific issue this time is that they told us we dont dress DD warmly enough. DD is 6 months and went to their house in fleece jacket with 2 long sleeve shirts underneath ( one was a oneise) jeans and socks. To get from the car to the house she had a blanket wrapped around her for the entire 8-10 seconds.
They feel that her hands were freezing and that she should have had a hat on and been in a snowsuit.
They want to have the right to tell us everytime they think were doing something wrong. We feel that we are capable of raising our child and she is healthy and doing well and they should butt out.
MIL is very controlling in other ways so we wanted to nip this in the bud to avoild other similar conversations. Its got blown way out of proportion and now FIL told my partner that he cant have a relationship with someone if he cant say how he feels.