Anonymous wrote:OP, if you have that much concern over his sperm and what kind of child will form, then don't reproduce with him. I am just so shocked that someone would go through this much trouble to find out if their child will be "normal," or not. What ever happened to reproducing out of love?

I don't think it's unreasonable for OP to try and identify the likelihood of a special needs child. Would they terminate, if so why not try to id those odds ahead of time. Are they prepared, emotionally and financially, to raise a SN child? If there is testing that can be done, what's wrong with wanting to do so?

Information is a good thing, to a certain extent. Certainly not a reason to jump on her.

Did I say I didn't want to have children? This isn't about reproducing out of love, this is about genetic issues that could affect my future family and if you have nothing nice to say why don't you just keep your mouth shut. My initial question was abou DH age, not about having what you called a "normal" child. Get off your high horse.

OP, if you have that much concern over his sperm and what kind of child will form, then don't reproduce with him. I am just so shocked that someone would go through this much trouble to find out if their child will be "normal," or not. What ever happened to reproducing out of love?

DH was 36 when DS #1 was born (I am ten yrs younger). His only full sibling died at 13 mo old from hydrocephalus. He has two half sisters (same mother) who are dumb as rocks but have no official LD. I did not do genetic testing. I asked DH aunt if she felt the hydrocephalus was genetic (I don't speak to MIL). No problems with first or subsequent children.

DH has medical POA on his father but not POA for sister. He handles all financial decisions and that's about it.

DH was 2 months premature, for what it's worth and he is perfectly fine- in fact he's a genius. I don't think being premature is the cause of his sisters SN. I could be wrong.

2.5 MONTHS premature? So, yes, a child born at 30wk old gestation has a high probability of having developmental challenges.

If DH's parents are deceased or incapacitated, who is his sister's guardian? Guardian would have access to medical records, I would think.

MIL is deceased and FIL has dementia so I'm pretty much screwed finding out the information I may need.

His sister didn't have a difficult birth, she was 2.5 months premature but she was born with special needs. If she were to be evaluated today- it wouldn't be considered a brain injury. I guess I need to do some research and try to find a condition that is similar to what she has.

Thanks for the input. I personally believe that DH age does play a factor in the overall health of a baby but that's because my mother works in autistic support and I know way too many stories.

Uh, guys? There's been tons of research saying that age of the father does have an impact. New research suggesting increased risk of autism and schizophrenia. Now, 36 is still not very old, and I don't want to be alarmist, but we are starting to understand that the age of the father can have an impact.
OP, I suggest you have DH get as much detailed info as he can on his siblings (general "learning disabilities" description is too vague) and take all that info to a doctor and ask if they think genetic testing might help. As others have mentioned, testing won't catch all issues (the autism I mentioned, for example) but it might catch some.
You mentioned "severe brain injury". If it's that--it might be due to a difficult birth, something that might have been an emergency C-section these days in order get the baby born quickly and prevent extended fetal distress. In that case, it's not genetic at all. It might be a sensitive subject for your MIL, but DH needs to try to get some more details on the medical history of his siblings.

OP here. I say learning disabilities but don't really know their actual diagnosis. There is mental illness (bipolar with at least one if them) and then his full sister who I have a relationship with in my opinion is mentally disabled, just not sure what the capacity is. When she was born they called it a severe brain injury- but these days (30 years later) I'm sure there is a name for what she has. She is unable to do basic math, her comprehension is lacking and she is disabled enough that the family decided she wasn't responsible enough to have children of her own. I don't know the proper way to put it because I know MR isn't politically correct but she's slow enough that her dx would be just that.

36 is not old for a man. There have been some studies that are showing potential linkages between increases in both mental illness and an autism rates for children of older fathers (meaning over 45 or 50).

Do you know the cause of the learning disabilities? Learning disabilities (if that is the only issue) is not something that could be detected by genetic testing. Husband's age should not have any effect on baby's health. 36 is not old for a man to father children.

DH father had four children. All three females have learning disabilities, his full sister has very low IQ. The two half sisters are higher functioning but basically live off the government since they are unable to work. I'm scared if we have a daughter she will be special needs.

What genetic issues? Depending in the gene, recessive, then yes I would do testing first.

Men tend not to have issues with pregnancy, no matter how old they get, versus women. I wouldn't be concerned.

If DH is 36 and hasn't had any children yet, how long would you wait before starting a family? If there are some genetic issues on paternal side of family, would genetic testing be in order before even TTC? Appreciate any feedback about TTC with an older DH.