If the most senior person in the room is not checking a smartphone, you shouldn't be either; if they are, it may or may not be appropriate. When in doubt, don't do it.

Yes, exactly.

I think this depends. At some meetings it is rude. At others, everyone in the room is doing the same thing. It is context driven, and the rule in business is follow the leader. If the most senior person in the room is not checking a smartphone, you shouldn't be either; if they are, it may or may not be appropriate. When in doubt, don't do it.

I'm going to pile on for "rude".

Doesn't seem to stop anyone, though. And I understand the temptation, especially in big meetings where a small group will head off on a tangent of interest only to themselves. But there's really to way to excuse being so blatantly uninterested in what your colleagues are saying.

OP, I think that perhaps you need to cut back on meetings. Surely you can get an intern or a program assistant to take notes for you. I once had a boss who would come in for the last 15 minutes of team meetings (functional teams, that is, each with its own director who reported to her). Everyone knew this was the plan and structured meetings to be prepared to ask her their questions or present the issues that needed her attention at the end of the meeting. And she was completely engaged during those 15 minutes, whereas if she had been sitting through the whole technical discussion, she wouldn't have had much to add.

I agree that it is rude unless it is once in a blue moon and for a specific reason, I am in my mid-30s so not an old fogey. It makes you look like you think you're more important than you are.

Anonymous wrote:I always have my phone with me at meetings. My colleagues all know that I am the first line of defense for my kids, if something happens at school or daycare. I have to be available to take a call b/c my DH is in a job where he is not reachable.

If I'm in a meeting with clients or others, I usually quickly explain why I have my phone out.

That is incredibly rude and self-centered. We all have major obligations. The vast majority of us are the "first line of defense" for our kids. If someone explained to me that was the reason their phone was out -- I would laugh at them.

Being on your phone during a meeting is rude and generational. It doesn't make it right.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is rude to be on your phone during meetings, unless it is a one-off where you are specifically looking something up for the discussion.

+1. Every single other person in the meeting also has lots of e-mails coming in, job obligations, families, etc. If they can manage to stay off the damn phone and actually look at you while you are talking, you owe them the same courtesy.

I find it rude. I do bring my phone with me as others do for contact from the daycare/school. The one time I didn't wouldn't you know it was the time my kid needed to go to the hospital for stitches. With that said, I do not do anything more than have it on hand in vibrate mode. I do not use it to check emails. Only occasionally use it to check on data relevant to the meeting. I think its better to be there in person, with my focus on the meeting and not the iphone.

I was in a very high level meeting recently where a woman put her Blackberry face up on the table and checked it repeatedly throughout the meeting. She always does this, with the excuse that she needs it in case her nanny needs to get in touch with her. However, like the PP said, she could have put it in her pocket on vibrate. She was one of the most junior people at the table, and everybody else in the meeting had kids being cared for by nannies or at preschool. If the really high-level people with far more responsibility than her could attend the meeting and give it their full attention without checking email during it, so could this woman. It was rude, and I think those above her noticed.

Yes, it is rude to be on your phone during meetings, unless it is a one-off where you are specifically looking something up for the discussion.

Anonymous wrote:I always have my phone with me at meetings. My colleagues all know that I am the first line of defense for my kids, if something happens at school or daycare. I have to be available to take a call b/c my DH is in a job where he is not reachable.

If I'm in a meeting with clients or others, I usually quickly explain why I have my phone out..

I'm in the same boat but don't need to have my phone out. Put it on vibrate and in your pocket or in the chair beside you. Really, how often do things go wrong in your life? I get about one call a year between three kids.

As to smartphones in meetings, I agree it's rude. There are some extenuating circumstances, but for the most part, I agree with OP's colleague.

I always have my phone with me at meetings. My colleagues all know that I am the first line of defense for my kids, if something happens at school or daycare. I have to be available to take a call b/c my DH is in a job where he is not reachable.

If I'm in a meeting with clients or others, I usually quickly explain why I have my phone out.

If the meeting is small and I am an active participant, I don't check emails or get on the web, unless I am looking something up relevant to the conversation.

If it's a larger meeting, like a general staff meeting, and it's all stuff I've heard before or is off-topic for me, I will usually check emails. But I don't respond unless it's something urgent. I just read them quickly.

I think it's a generational thing, yes. But I also think it's a context thing and I think we all need to be aware that there are others who may be offended and that we may need to alter our behavior accordingly.

I also get tons of email during the day and take my smartphone everywhere. I tend to only check my blackberry during long meetings (over an hour) OR when I'm specifically looking for data/info I will then share with the meeting participants. But I think there are some situations when it's okay (primarily if the conversation shifts to a subject outside your responsibility/expertise). If I were you, I'd take his advice with a grain of salt and pay more attention to when you and others are using smartphones. If you're in step with others' behavior, you can probably conclude he's out of touch...

You need to stop going to meetings -- you clearly don't understand what they're for.

I think checking emails or surfing the web on your phone during meetings is rude. I know lots of people do it, but it basically sends a signal to those who are talking that you're bored or have more important things to do than listen to them. I'm sure everybody in your meeting gets lots of emails, were they all reading and responding to them on their phones during the meeting? Certainly there are times when I'm awaiting a time-sensitive response to something that I'll bring my Blackberry into a meeting with me, but I try to let others know ahead of time that I have something pressing going on and apologize in advance for checking it.

Am I in the wrong? A colleague came to me today and told me he was offended by my behavior in a meeting last week. He is not someone I work with often, I'm very senior to him, and he's somewhat older (mid 60s or so). He said that he did not appreciate that I was on my iphone during a cross-department meeting we had last week. He was very polite about it and felt he should share that he thought it was rude behavior. Granted, yes, I am on my phone a lot, almost always work-related. In that particular meeting, I was using the phone to pull up some data and research for the discussion at hand, referred to it during discussion, and was fully-engaged and participated throughout the meeting. Frankly, I am in meetings about 70% of the time at work and if I don't keep tabs on email, I can easily end up with hundreds of unanswered emails a day, particularly if I don't handle some things asap when I can catch things before they escalate. Obviously, the volume of email at my job and the scope of my responsibilities is another matter. However, I don't want to make excuses if I'm truly out of touch with office norms. I've worked in the company for several years, he has as well, and I am certainly not the only one who brings a phone or tablet to most meetings, particularly at my level.

When this colleague came to me, he actually gave me a list of rules he shares with a volunteer committee he leads, the first rule being related to no computers/phones/tablets in meetings. Funny enough, I am also in our volunteer board meetings (I work for a non-profit) and every person in the room is on a computer throughout the days-long meeting. So, I wonder if this is a generational thing and he hasn't realized times are changing. I can't imagine not having access throughout the majority my day, but obviously people survived before email and phones and internet, etc.