Anonymous wrote:Do you know anyone who could use the help of a volunteer mothers helper? It would give her some responsibility and purpose, but also she wouldn't be alone.

Just who I want helping me with my toddler ... an unruly teen who plays with matches!

OP, are you in MD, VA, or DC?

Do you know anyone who could use the help of a volunteer mothers helper? It would give her some responsibility and purpose, but also she wouldn't be alone.

Whoa buddy. My first concern is her playing with matches. I would still leave her home alone though. It is only a week and she is 13. She is going to have to grow up at some point. She is far too big for a babysitter or a camp. I would be ashamed to go at that age. Let her stay home and give her a list of chores to do. If she does not complete them, then she gets a babysitter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyway you could take a few of these days truly off? She sounds like she could use a few days with mom, maybe doing a new activity or going to an event she has expressed an interest in. I know vacation time is hard to come by, but sometimes it is worth spending a little capital. 13 is a hard age.

I agree with this. I'd actually do a combo of letting her stay home alone (and rebuild trust) and do some mom/daughter stuff together. Movies, museum, mani/pedi, play, musical, etc.

Seriously, did you guys not even read OP's post? It is positively insane how often this happens on DCUM: the OP will specifically state that a particular option is not on the table, and multiple responders will tell her to do that option. As if the OP never even gave it a second of thought herself. Don't you think if the OP could take the time off she would?? F'ing idiots.

Angry much?

OP,

Who's taking care of the baby?

Your daughter must be going through a lot, is this baby her sister or half-sister? Either way, it's probably rocking her world, throwing off the dynamic and the energy in the household, and your pregnancy could have been what had her acting out last summer. I agree, she should not be alone!

I read that you and your husband can't take off work but can you reassess, is there anyway you and your husband could see if you could each take off two days apiece somehow, that would cover four days? I think it's too late to find volunteering possibilities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyway you could take a few of these days truly off? She sounds like she could use a few days with mom, maybe doing a new activity or going to an event she has expressed an interest in. I know vacation time is hard to come by, but sometimes it is worth spending a little capital. 13 is a hard age.

I agree with this. I'd actually do a combo of letting her stay home alone (and rebuild trust) and do some mom/daughter stuff together. Movies, museum, mani/pedi, play, musical, etc.

Seriously, did you guys not even read OP's post? It is positively insane how often this happens on DCUM: the OP will specifically state that a particular option is not on the table, and multiple responders will tell her to do that option. As if the OP never even gave it a second of thought herself. Don't you think if the OP could take the time off she would?? F'ing idiots.

Op I have to agree with the others here. Sounds like there is a lot going to, and yes being a 13 year old is very hard
My parents also worked a lot (of course most people have to) but she is young to be home alone for so long-it just takes one dumb idea from a friend and things can go downhill fast...
Do you know her closest friends? Why not take her and her best friend snow tubing somewhere? Or anything that requires a fairly long drive, you can listen to what they chat about and maybe get familiar with them.
Can she be a counselor at a little kids winter break camp?

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyway you could take a few of these days truly off? She sounds like she could use a few days with mom, maybe doing a new activity or going to an event she has expressed an interest in. I know vacation time is hard to come by, but sometimes it is worth spending a little capital. 13 is a hard age.

I agree with this. I'd actually do a combo of letting her stay home alone (and rebuild trust) and do some mom/daughter stuff together. Movies, museum, mani/pedi, play, musical, etc.

Is there anyway you could take a few of these days truly off? She sounds like she could use a few days with mom, maybe doing a new activity or going to an event she has expressed an interest in. I know vacation time is hard to come by, but sometimes it is worth spending a little capital. 13 is a hard age.

Anonymous wrote:Could she volunteer somewhere?

most places wouldn't let someone so young volunteer without an adult.

Could she volunteer somewhere?

OP, I got this in an email from Certifikid, winter break camps/classes throughout DC/MD/VA, some of the options are for older kids:

http://www.certifikid.com/pages/deal-collection/4536/dont-wonder-this-winter

You'll need to sign up for for the site to view the page, but it often has great deals you may be interested in anyway. GL!!

Wow - sounds like you need some family counseling pronto.

That is a very short break and assuming you or your DH has weekends, Christmas day and NY day off there are only 5 work days and two of them are the 24th and the 31st.

What about mixing it up a bit - cookie baking/decorating with a friend, math workbooks (unlikely you will find a tutor to work Christmas week unless you can find a college student home for the holidays who wants a little extra money), have her go to a friends house one day, day trip to Whitetail (see if Calleva is running bus trips), etc.

My 13 yr. old DD will be out of school from 12/21 to 1/2 for the holiday break and while she would love to stay home alone doing nothing this is not acceptable to me. I'm looking for a winter program or something to place her in but everything seems to be during the evenings. Rather than hiring a babysitter to watch her, what can I do? FWIW she was home alone most of the summer and breached my trust big time by playing with matches and lying (I saw the ashes in the trash and matches on the counter). DH thinks its fine for her to do nothing and suggests that we let her have sleepovers - 2 teens playing with matches and God knows what else is NOT happening in my household.

She is also struggling in math and could use some math tutoring during the break but DH and I both work fulltime so it needs to be an all day program. I could leave work early and work 1/2 day at home but (1) he's just started a new job and can't take any time off and (2) I just came off of maternity leave and all my leave has been used up.

Any suggestions?