It's not suspicion. It's letting the teen know, if I suspect you are using drugs, I will give you a home drug test. Very different.

Monitoring our teens for illicit drug use is hardly trying to control every aspect of their lives. I don't know or care what the professionals say. (Yes, illicit. This isn't Washington or Colorado.)

If I did not otherwise have some reason to believe that my child was doing drugs, I would never use one. If I did have a reason to believe that my child had an issue with drugs, I would.

Wow, I am shocked that parents do this routinely. Nothing says "you are incapable of exercising judgment" like something this invasive, something that is routinely done with criminals on probation, for example. It is something entirely different if you have a teen with a known drug issue -- in those circumstances I can see how it would make sense. But to treat your child with suspicion from the get-go seems, to me, to be not only highly destructive of the parent child relationship but also a very clear way to signal to your child that he must be monitored in the most invasive way possible because he can't be trusted. Parents of teens need to teach them to internalize the right choices, even if they make mistakes along the way.

I would be shocked if any professionals supported this approach. Absolutely shocked. Read Lessons of a B- by Wendy Mogel. We do our children no favors by trying to maintain control of every aspect of their lives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two teens here. I didn't use drug tests until after my DC was caught using. Now I test randomly, although it hurts me to do it. It's the only way I know that DC is keeping their word, and not doing it anymore. I do think it keeps kids on guard.

Important, though, is to be prepared with what you plan to do with a positive test. A don't ask, don't tell approach is certainly easier when dealing with a kid drinking or doing drugs. Once you KNOW, then you have to decide what you are going to do.

Very true. Thank you.

OP

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two teens here. I didn't use drug tests until after my DC was caught using. Now I test randomly, although it hurts me to do it. It's the only way I know that DC is keeping their word, and not doing it anymore. I do think it keeps kids on guard.

Thank you for sharing.

OP

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two teens here. I didn't use drug tests until after my DC was caught using. Now I test randomly, although it hurts me to do it. It's the only way I know that DC is keeping their word, and not doing it anymore. I do think it keeps kids on guard.

Important, though, is to be prepared with what you plan to do with a positive test. A don't ask, don't tell approach is certainly easier when dealing with a kid drinking or doing drugs. Once you KNOW, then you have to decide what you are going to do.

Parent of two teens here. I didn't use drug tests until after my DC was caught using. Now I test randomly, although it hurts me to do it. It's the only way I know that DC is keeping their word, and not doing it anymore. I do think it keeps kids on guard.

Anonymous wrote:I would not do it. Mind you, I smoked huge amounts of pot and still went to one of the best universities in the country, and graduated at the top of my class. I think it is further evidence of the infantilizing of tennagers that local parents engage in.

I read about introducing the test with later curfews or extra privleges to extend the trust. It is good to have opinions on both side of the debate.

Thank you.

OP

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I support it, too.

I'd mention home drug tests in the context of a larger conversation about drinking and drugs but only with the older one when you think it's time. Is he in Seventh Grade? Amazingly pot smoking starts that year for some students.

Thank you. Yes 7th grade. And kids at school have already been busted for smoking pot in the restroom.

We do have the drug conversation already.

OP

Anonymous wrote:I support it. I have friends who always had one there on the shelf. Their kids knew "just in case." Their friends would see it too and maybe that made a difference in their kids staying drug free (besides great parenting of course!!)

Thank you.

OP

I would not do it. Mind you, I smoked huge amounts of pot and still went to one of the best universities in the country, and graduated at the top of my class. I think it is further evidence of the infantilizing of tennagers that local parents engage in.

OP,

I support it, too.

I'd mention home drug tests in the context of a larger conversation about drinking and drugs but only with the older one when you think it's time. Is he in Seventh Grade? Amazingly pot smoking starts that year for some students.

I support it. I have friends who always had one there on the shelf. Their kids knew "just in case." Their friends would see it too and maybe that made a difference in their kids staying drug free (besides great parenting of course!!)

DC UM+D:

How do you feel about home drug testing your kids? I saw the Teenavers brand at Rite Aid and read about them online.

I think my kids may be just a little young to buy one 12,9 but I read they work well as a deterrent. So maybe it's worth planting the seed in their heads now.

Thoughts?