OP here, thank you for all your responses. Definitely some good points to think about!

Our budget afforded us about the same. We had already lived in a small TH for 8 years, and we just couldn't "upgrade" to a larger TH. We were just DONE with the constant up and down the stairs in the TH and the too close quarters with neighbors, etc. Don't get me wrong, the lack of yardwork and lower costs for utilities/home repairs were definite plusses, but we just wanted some space of our own. Our daughter needed the outdoor space and my husband wanted a dog, so house with a yard it was.

Anonymous wrote:I didn't think I would like TH living, but I do. We have brick between the units, though, so we don't hear music, tv, etc. For me, the big pros have been: (1) little yard maintenance, (2) getting to know the neighbors, (3) low cost to maintain (e.g, our roof is so tiny that it cost $2,500 to replace), (4) separation of space (kids go to bed on third floor and we can hang out and entertain in the finished basement without keeping them up; we also have guests stay in the basement, so they have their own separate area); and (5) small morgage payment. It also helps that we live in a walkable neigborhood that we love. If we lived farther out, I imagine I would prefer a SFH.

We do smell cooking noises occassionally, and I would be pretty annoyed if our neighbors smoked. We also rent a storage unit because I was tired of having all of our closets jam-packed with stuff.

This depends on where you are looking, OP. Are you looking at new construction or an older home in the city? I live in a 90 year old semi-detached TH in DC and I routinely hear my neighbor's music through the walls. And when they sit on their front porch with their friends and chain smoke I have to leave my front windows closed and can't be on my own front porch to enjoy nice weather. They are nice people, but it is supremely annoying. I look forward to the day we sell and buy a detached SFH. Hopefully with LOTS of space between us and the neighbors. Buying a TH is a crapshoot b/c you don't know your neighbors. If these are things you can't live with, you need to think about that.

I agree with the PP who said that if you intend to stay put long-term, buy the SFH and upgrade over time. Just one person's opinion. Good luck with your decision and your search.

Our first home was a townhome. Townhomes definitely have their drawbacks. First and foremost is noise from neighbors, both inside the house (ours were pretty quiet, but there were times we could hear them), and outside in the parking lot -- actually, the parking lot noise was probably worse in our situation. Secondly, if your neighbors don't properly maintain their property, it can affect your home (leaks, rodents, etc.) There is also a lot less privacy in a townhome, because people usually have to walk in front of your home to get to theirs (and if you live near partiers, they can end up in front of your house, drinking and worse --been through that, too). There is also less privacy in the back of the house, because usually your neighbor's deck is right next to yours. If your neighbors smoke, it can waft into your home. If your neighbors fight, you will have a ringside seat for the action. I agree with PP about parking: will you have a garage, driveway, or assigned spaces? How many guest spaces are there? I dread taking my kids to the homes of friends who live in townhomes, because usually finding parking as a guest is a major pain. If you come home at night, how close to your house can you park, and will you be safe walking to your house? (Where I live, there is A LOT more crime in the townhome subdivisions than in single family homes.)

Overall, we were so happy to move to a SFH and have our own yard and some space that was just our own. Even when we downsize, it will be to a SFH.

Historically, SFHs hold their value better over time.

I've got a townhome as a vacation place. The stairs are really really a drag, especially if you are trying to lug up or down a basket of laundry.

Anonymous wrote:I have a three-level townhouse with a garage and an attic. While sometimes the stairs can be mildly annoying, I love having no yard maintenance, and the layout is pretty good -- kids stay/play in the bottom level, grownups on the middle level and "private spaces" are upstairs. There's a cinderblock firebreak between units, so I don't see or smell anything -- in a townhouse that's not a townhouse condo, there shouldn't be any shared ductwork.

The only downside is that in townhouses, there may be some rules about what you can do to the exterior within the community (paint colors, window types, garden spaces out front, etc). But you could also get a SFH in a place like Reston and still deal with the same garbage. Ask for any HOA docs and read them well. Google the community to see if there has traditionally been a "HOA rules enforcer" living in your community who makes everyone's life unpleasant. I have several friends including myself with THs, and there has been a slight inverse correlation between how expensive the TH is and how restrictive the rules are. Mine probably costs double theirs, and they deal with nitnoidy stuff, and no one bothers me about anything. Our rules are relatively few.

I too own a townhouse and like it a lot. No smells, no noises and we have enough space, little outside to maintain, and a two care garage. Our HOA hasn't been too strict. We recently got approval to put a satellite dish on our roof. Our community also has a nice pool and tennis complex, which is a nice feature. My advice is to look carefully at the townhomes you're considering -- some are fairly private and will meet your needs, while others (especially older, condo-style ones) may not. FWIW, we lived in a large SFH before moving here and have adapted well. We are a family of 4 plus a dog.

I find it hard to embrace the thought of townhouse living. I like the idea of having a house that my kids will grow up in and return to for years and years. I don't like the idea of downsizing or upgrading my home every time I need more or less space. I also like the privacy of a SFH. I'm an introvert, and I'd rather be social when I make an effort to do so rather than every time I'm hauling groceries in and out or getting my newspaper.

I have a three-level townhouse with a garage and an attic. While sometimes the stairs can be mildly annoying, I love having no yard maintenance, and the layout is pretty good -- kids stay/play in the bottom level, grownups on the middle level and "private spaces" are upstairs. There's a cinderblock firebreak between units, so I don't see or smell anything -- in a townhouse that's not a townhouse condo, there shouldn't be any shared ductwork.

The only downside is that in townhouses, there may be some rules about what you can do to the exterior within the community (paint colors, window types, garden spaces out front, etc). But you could also get a SFH in a place like Reston and still deal with the same garbage. Ask for any HOA docs and read them well. Google the community to see if there has traditionally been a "HOA rules enforcer" living in your community who makes everyone's life unpleasant. I have several friends including myself with THs, and there has been a slight inverse correlation between how expensive the TH is and how restrictive the rules are. Mine probably costs double theirs, and they deal with nitnoidy stuff, and no one bothers me about anything. Our rules are relatively few.

I didn't think I would like TH living, but I do. We have brick between the units, though, so we don't hear music, tv, etc. For me, the big pros have been: (1) little yard maintenance, (2) getting to know the neighbors, (3) low cost to maintain (e.g, our roof is so tiny that it cost $2,500 to replace), (4) separation of space (kids go to bed on third floor and we can hang out and entertain in the finished basement without keeping them up; we also have guests stay in the basement, so they have their own separate area); and (5) small morgage payment. It also helps that we live in a walkable neigborhood that we love. If we lived farther out, I imagine I would prefer a SFH.

We do smell cooking noises occassionally, and I would be pretty annoyed if our neighbors smoked. We also rent a storage unit because I was tired of having all of our closets jam-packed with stuff.

Anonymous wrote:We're looking to buy a house and with our budget, in the same general area (schools, commute, etc), we could get a pretty nice townhome, with a lot of updated features or a slightly smaller single family home with a lot of upgrades to do (which we would not be able to afford to undertake in the near foreseeable future.) I'm not really a backyard person, so that doesn't matter to me that much, and I've been leaning toward a townhome. DH is not sure. What, if anything, am I missing about the appeal of a single family home? Has anyone lived in both? Any thoughts or experiences you could share on advantages of one over the other, would be appreciated. TIA!

I put your one comment in bold because it is an important consideration. I enjoy my potted plants, but not yard care (lawn mowing, leaf raking, etc.) and my husband doesn't either. Even if we did enjoy it, it would eat up a lot of time on weekends that we could be doing other stuff.

Even without a backyard, is there still a flat grassy spot where kids could play? We specifically chose the townhouse we bought (as opposed to some other available models in the same neighborhood) because there was a great "pocket park" right outside the door. So, my kids still have a place to play, even though we have a postage-stamp backyard that basically only has room for some chairs, a tree and grill.

We plan to be in this townhouse for the long haul, ultimately downsize to a condo on a ground floor or one with an elevator when we get old enough. In the meantime, we look at the stairs as a great way to stay in shape!

I'd decide based on how long you intend to live there.

If 10+yrs, I'd buy a house and upgrade over time. The upgrades you'll do help make it your own, and reminisce about how it used to be.

When you don't do anything with a home, it just doesn't feel like your own.

What is the parking situation for the townhome? Does it have a garage, or assigned parking spots? What about parking for when you have guests over?
Will the single family homes you are looking at be more likely to have a garage/or designated driveway + more guest parking?
This would be HUGE for me, especially if you have young kids (or plan to soon).

PP brought up a good point about the steep steps...even if you are ok with them, is there any chance of you having an elderly parent or relative come live/extended stay with you?

One thing I hear a lot of people who live in townhomes complain about, is smoke/cooking odors seeping through the vents. Even if the neighbors do not smoke/cook strong foods now, you never know when they might sell and the new people will....

The steep steps in a townhouse get old real fast.

We're looking to buy a house and with our budget, in the same general area (schools, commute, etc), we could get a pretty nice townhome, with a lot of updated features or a slightly smaller single family home with a lot of upgrades to do (which we would not be able to afford to undertake in the near foreseeable future.) I'm not really a backyard person, so that doesn't matter to me that much, and I've been leaning toward a townhome. DH is not sure. What, if anything, am I missing about the appeal of a single family home? Has anyone lived in both? Any thoughts or experiences you could share on advantages of one over the other, would be appreciated. TIA!