Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 23:21     Subject: Re:For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
Anonymous wrote:I finally came to the realization that my husband couldn't/wouldn't take the steps needed to control his depression/ADHD. If he'd been trying to control it and wasn't getting positive results, I would have stayed. But, to not even really try, well, I finally got so tired, so worn out and it was negatively affecting our kids that I decided the kids and I would be better off without him. It's such a shame because when he depression/ADHD was controlled, he was really great and I loved him very much. I still love him but he's not good for us. It took me a long time to give up.


oh god, i fear this will be me in a year or two. another PP asked you if you could tell us more about your situation -- what were the ultimate deal-breakers? how did you know you'd reached the point of no return? how are you and the kids doing now? i have been coasting in this situation for so many years already (at least 3, maybe 4) and part of me thinks that if i'm already wondering how much longer i can take of this kind of living then i already know my answer... anyhoo, thanks for your insights. much appreciated.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 22:32     Subject: For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
When I realized he was leading a double life of sorts.

Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 21:54     Subject: For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
Anonymous wrote:When we started spending more time apart than together -- then I found out he was seeing someone. No more excuses, no more maybe's.... he went away for the weekend, I packed up everything I wanted and when he returned he was left with his stuff. Never looked back, couldn't be happier!


Did you have kids, and did he try to get you back?
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 20:21     Subject: For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
When we started spending more time apart than together -- then I found out he was seeing someone. No more excuses, no more maybe's.... he went away for the weekend, I packed up everything I wanted and when he returned he was left with his stuff. Never looked back, couldn't be happier!
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 19:56     Subject: Re:For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
My domestic violence counselor told me that if I didn't leave, she was worried he would kill me. That's all it took. When he left for work, I packed up a u-haul with everything I could fit in the truck. Pulled the kids out of school and drove across country to stay with my parents. I never looked back.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 19:50     Subject: Re:For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
He was going out of control. He was not "himself" there was not a lot to be done. He was getting violent. Friends told me to get out before something really bad happened -- too many close calls.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 19:45     Subject: Re:For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
He got arrested. I knew I wouldn't have to share custody so I felt safe filing papers.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 17:48     Subject: For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
He told me that he had a six month affair with a hooker (and he was depressed because she broke up with him). Yes, that was the final straw, indeed. WTF? How big a loser do you have to be to have a hooker break up with you? You're paying her ALOT to like you.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 17:43     Subject: For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
17:33 - did you go through counseling? alone? together? did you have a job or sah? what were the negative things you couldn't live with anymore?

Thanks.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 17:40     Subject: For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
When he purposely shit the bed to make me clean it .
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 17:36     Subject: For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
When I got the wrong cream cheese and he threw it at my head.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 17:33     Subject: Re:For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
I finally came to the realization that my husband couldn't/wouldn't take the steps needed to control his depression/ADHD. If he'd been trying to control it and wasn't getting positive results, I would have stayed. But, to not even really try, well, I finally got so tired, so worn out and it was negatively affecting our kids that I decided the kids and I would be better off without him. It's such a shame because when he depression/ADHD was controlled, he was really great and I loved him very much. I still love him but he's not good for us. It took me a long time to give up.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 15:36     Subject: For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
Inability to agree on how to deal with kid with mild SN.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 15:12     Subject: Re:For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
I got a job that provided a salary I could support myself and my child on even if ex didn't give me a cent. I wasn't willing to take the plunge until that happened, and it took 4.5 years.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2012 15:10     Subject: For those who have gotten divorced, what was the final straw?
Curious what finally made you go through with it.