We have not done adult gifts for ages, except to send a Harry and David box or something like that to out of town relatives. Maybe it is just councidence, but My kids are 16 now and for the past couple of years they have not expected much for themselves, either, perhaps since we don't make a big deal of gifts. My only worry for them is that if they marry people to whom gifts are important, they won't know what to do!

All the grandparents and siblings and spouses go out for a really nice dinner or lunch (without the kids). Much more fun than another sweater we don't need.

DH and I stopped exchanging gifts with our siblings a few years ago. It is awesome!!! We do still give gifts to our parents. The "middle" generation (that's us and our siblings) gives gifts to all the kids/cousins. The kids/cousins range in age from 4-8 and no one has noticed (or cared to comment) that Aunt Susie diedn't give a gift to Daddy or that Mommy didn't give anything to Uncle Pete. Or that no one gave Mommy a gift other than Daddy and Nana.

The gifts we give to our parents are usually intangible items, like a homemade photo calendar or family photos. We used to do art work! My mom collects Christmas-themed items, so I will usually get her a Santa or something Christmas-y.

We do small gifts for each other, gifts for grandparents, and nothing for extended family. And each of us has a stocking to be filled.

My family has never exchanged gifts with any non-children. It's not an official rule, just something that we've never done. I was 13 when I last got a Christmas present from anyone. My mom gave me a VCR. My little sister kept getting gifts, but mine just stopped. Then she turned 13. My mother took her to a concert for Christmas and then she stopped getting stuff. We kept putting up a tree, but the presents underneath were for our younger cousins.

PP here-- I meant to say HIGHEST number. If you pick last, you can steal the best gift.

We have an optional gift exchange for adults. $25 limit. Bring a gift, take home a gift. If you don't feel like participating, no biggie. We put all the gifts on a table, draw numbers, and pick a gift. We use white-elephant-style rules-- you are allowed to steal gifts, so it's in your best interest to get the lowest number! It's fun and low-stress.

With one part of the extended family, we now do a gift exchange. Voluntary participation that can vary from year to year. You can opt out, opt in as a single or opt in as a couple. You get drawn one name and that's the only adults that you have to purchase a gift for, and there's an upper dollar limit to keep it from getting extravagant. However, kids are free-for-all. Almost everyone gets the kids gifts. We keep it toned down, but they still get a dozen or so gifts.

I would love this. The problem is my older sister and mother refuse and must give gifts. This keeps the whole family giving gifts. On top of this, the gifts they give have no thought behind it. What's the point?

It's awesome! This is our third Christmas without the nonsense. My DH's family drew names, and there was a $100 limit per couple. But most of his family has moved away, so there was shipping. And I was always in charge of the drawing. We just abstained from the gift draw, and now no one does it. It takes a new way of thinking. Some people like my SIL and MIL LOVE to open presents. They also love to give them, but they suck at picking stuff out. My DH said he would go insane if he got another police officer's bible from his mother! I love how fun Christmas has become. No more stressing about what to get Aunt Tilly or Uncle Joe. We just focus on our kids and our neices and nephews. Anyone over age 18 does not get a gift. I did find out that my MIL still exchanges gifts with her brothers and sisters. But that is her choice. I just can't deal with spending hundreds of dollars on people I only see once a year.

We do secret Santa and include the kids in the exchange. This cuts down on the number of gifts the kids get too.

Anonymous wrote:We do not exchange presents with adults beyond our parents. This includes kids over the age of 18 (ie, when it degrades into everyone just swapping itunes cards back and forth).
The kids have never noticed, so far as I can tell. They are too into the presents that they are opening.
If the kids ask, I guess you could say something like "we wanted to give you MORE presents!"????
Or maybe the adults could do a secret santa exchange, if you want to ease into it.To ease our generation out of the gift giving we collected money one year for a donation in GP/GGP's names. There was just a card.

Thats what we do

We do not exchange presents with adults beyond our parents. This includes kids over the age of 18 (ie, when it degrades into everyone just swapping itunes cards back and forth).
The kids have never noticed, so far as I can tell. They are too into the presents that they are opening.
If the kids ask, I guess you could say something like "we wanted to give you MORE presents!"????
Or maybe the adults could do a secret santa exchange, if you want to ease into it.
To ease our generation out of the gift giving we collected money one year for a donation in GP/GGP's names. There was just a card.

I'll let you know how it goes! This is our first year doing this, too. I already feel much less stress

We are planning to stop exchanging presents with adults in the family this year and keep it to the kids. Those of you who do this - how do you do it?

The kids right now are very young, but even a 4 year old would recognize that they're really the only one opening presents. Does that become weird? Do you exchange very small gifts with adults so there is something to open? Or do you just not open presents together?

We have just a couple young grandkids in the family, and we have usually gotten both sides of the family together on Christmas morning to open presents together. I'm just trying to figure out the logistics here... thanks!