Anonymous wrote:OP: please re-read your first sentence of your post and then count your lucky stars that your son is doing well. Please don't pressure your kid any more than I'm sure you already have. He will be fine. He will get into college and find his way.

It sounds like OP is only trying to help her son get what he wants, because she writes, "he works hard and hopes to get into a 'good'" college. The sad fact is (and I agree it's sad), he won't achieve his goal of getting into a "good" college if he means a "selective" college, because these are looking for passions. Her son needs to know this now.

My DS is more a well-rounded kid than a one-passion kid, but he managed to find ways to talk about common themes within his various activities. So far he's accepted (early action) at one highly regarded university, so apparently you don't have to start a nonprofit or cure cancer to go to college.

OP: please re-read your first sentence of your post and then count your lucky stars that your son is doing well. Please don't pressure your kid any more than I'm sure you already have. He will be fine. He will get into college and find his way.

I don't know about you, but I'm a little sick of the word "passion." It seems like every website I look at -- whether for a designer, marketing, grocery store, or communications person -- says something like "My passion is" or "I"m passionate about."
Yeah right, everyone's so passionate (eye roll).

Whatever happened to just liking something, or doing it because it's a living, it's better than other options?

Such a crock. Selective colleges just use this as another way to weed out their applicant pool.

Don't sweat it. Remember the old adage that most freshmen will change their majors three times before graduation?

Anonymous wrote:Um, were you passionate about anything in hs? I wasn't, and yet I somehow managed to graduate phi beta kappa and from law school with honors. PS - there's nothing wrong with your state university.

Yes, I was, about music, and still am, although I am also a lawyer who graduated with honors, etc etc. I think college admissions are different now than when we parents applied, so I worry for my son. But I am mainly sorry for him that he doesn't have something in his life equally meaningful to him. Thanks to everyone who has responded.

Um, were you passionate about anything in hs? I wasn't, and yet I somehow managed to graduate phi beta kappa and from law school with honors. PS - there's nothing wrong with your state university.

What about a part time job or volunteering? Those kinds of things get listed, too.

It's silly to do activities just for college. I think it's better to show consistency and dedication to a few things than join activities just to list them. A sport and musical group sounds decent.

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't really matter where he goes to school. Just that he gets the right degree. That degree is the one with highest potential for a good job. The economy sucks and we are rolling back to the old days where people who were lucky enough to go to school got the most practical degree. Think foreigners who get degrees in the US. No art or english degrees. Hard technical degrees.

Hard technical degrees may result in job offers immediately after graduation. The kind of critical thinking involved in an English degree or a History degree or a Political Science degree, however, will pay dividends over time. Individual contributors need technical skills. Leaders and managers need other skills which don't preclude technical skills but certainly aren't met in total by technical skill. The ability to write and to think, the ability to establish, nurture and maintain relationships, a solid general knowledge of a variety of disciplines and an appreciation for all disciplines make for the well-rounded individuals who will become future managers and leaders. Those with hard technical degrees can certainly develop these skills but so can those who pursue non-technical education.

I'm also a bit concerned that my DD (Freshman) is not really passionate about anything yet. I've found some of those questionnaires that are suppose to help you zero in on your likes/strengths for career that I'm going to have her complete. I also try to put her in different activities/classes (photography, sewing, art, drama, dance, various sports) where she is exposed to many activities in hopes of finding something that tweeks an interest. She is very strong in math/science but has absolutely no interest in any STEM programs and is instead following more of an artsy track (((sigh))).

I hear you, too. I have one in college and one in high school. It's really the very top schools where "passion" is the theme du jour. Schools at the top are getting 30,000 applications for a 1000 places and probably 10,000 are " qualified." They need a way to chop that number down fast. Enter the new qualification of "passion." I must say, though, from whom I have seen getting accepted, most of these passions are genuine. It's not like you can create a passion that is not there, so there is not much you can so.

That said, the whole college application process is about the student getting to know him or herself and finding the right school for who the kid is, and not who the parent wants him or her to be. In other words, relax. It's fine not to have a passion. Let your kid take the lead and stay out of it as much as you can. It will work just fine.

I hear you. The college application system works against late bloomers, the kids who haven't figured out their futures by age 15. It seems a little unfair. But again and again, on DD's college tour last spring, we heard "we want quirky kids" and "we want unbalanced kids" and "we don't want well-rounded kids like we did 10 years ago."

While showing him the Common App is a good start, maybe show him some of the supplemental questions for competitive schools. The following are what I've heard from DD, so maybe verify that I heard right before showing them to your son. I think Tufts this year is asking applicants to "Geek out!" on their supplemental question. Pomona, I believe, is asking, "If you stopped to watch something in your neighborhood for 5 minutes, what would it be?" (My mom jokingly suggested two dogs copulating, but that obviously won't make it into the essay.) Columbia wants to know what magazines and books you're reading, and they're not looking for the Twilight series.

And finally, this may sound cynical, but even though your kid may have to demonstrate a passion now, he doesn't have to commit to it for life. My feeling is, if colleges are going to insist that 17-year-olds have a life-defining passion, then it serves them right if the kid changes majors sophomore year.

There are lots of boys with this approach to life/extracurriculars at age 15-16. He may very well develop a "passion" but there are plenty of other ways to shine, and if he is academically very strong, he will get into a very good school regardless, and being a boy (versus a girl) really does help as well, colleges struggle to maintain close to a 50/50 ratio (other than highly technical or engineering schools).
And there is still time, you never know how he will develop, a summer job or summer experience may ignite something, and even if not, a continuing job is looked on very positively by colleges, if he isn't doing a sport or other ECs every season, then urge him to pursue a job or a community service project that will give him a sense of accomplishment.

It doesn't really matter where he goes to school. Just that he gets the right degree. That degree is the one with highest potential for a good job. The economy sucks and we are rolling back to the old days where people who were lucky enough to go to school got the most practical degree. Think foreigners who get degrees in the US. No art or english degrees. Hard technical degrees.

DC is a great student and competent athlete and musician. But DC does the bare minimum in extracurriculars. Plays one varsity sport but will not practice it oustide the short season in order to improve or for the love of the game; performs in school musical groups but does not practice outside school in order to improve or for the love of the instrument. In short, no passion for these activities or for anything else. Refuses to try other sports, clubs, religious groups, etc. DC is too young to have test scores yet (sophomore), but it seems a pity that DC might have limited college opportunities because of an unwillingness to pursue extracurriculars. Anyone with a similar child? How do you encourage him/her to find a "passion" -- for life, if not just for college apps? DC is content to spend time watching TV, surfing the internet, and playing video games in free time, and thinks all recreation is of equal value. Appreciate any advice from those who have been there. DC works very hard in school and hopes to attend a "good" college. I have shown DC the Common App and all of the space devoted to extracurriculars in hopes of providing a little motiviation in that department, but so far to no avail. Thanks!