Anonymous
11/21/2012 23:40
Subject: Re:My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
Anonymous wrote:So you scolded her for the least important thing, a rule infraction, rather than addressing the really BIG thing, the nasty stuff that is now filling her head? And then you sent her off to stew about it alone, with no explanation or guidance? Massive parenting fail.
I say you start with an apology for losing sight of the big thing, the importance of understanding what she saw. Ask her if she would like to talk to you about it. If she doesn't want to because you made her feel ashamed or defensive, leave the door open but do not hound her. Remembering myself at that age, though, I fear you may have slammed that door so hard that it's now permanently jammed.
OP here. See my post below.
Anonymous
11/21/2012 23:39
Subject: My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
OP here. As I told before, we have pretty close relationship. I did go upstairs and apologized for being so upset. She said she knew there is "normal" world and there is "another" world. She felt like she needed to check if it's true that another world existed. Well, now she knows it exist. She also said it didn't shock her much (Now should I be worried?)
Anonymous
11/21/2012 23:29
Subject: My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
I think you do need to talk this out and it may include professional support. If this was really her first introduction to sex, what she saw could be very overwhelming and scary for her. It could also be confusing and give her a very skewed foundation of sex. You need to talk to her and find out where her head is at and while you have punished her (no electronics for a month) for what she did she needs to know that she can talk to you and ask you any questions she has stemming from what she saw. She might also want to talk about how she feels about it. The fact she kept watching for an hour and hid in the bathroom would be concerning.
Anonymous
11/21/2012 23:13
Subject: My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What happened? Did she stream something accidentally and just kept watching?
I am sorry.
She was watching this f*cking Bieber interview and then from there she kept going on to worse and worse videos that includes rape.
How do you get from Bieber videos to rape porn?
...
something is missing here... I don't think one just "stumbles" onto porn, you have to make at least some small effort to search for it.
Anonymous
11/21/2012 23:04
Subject: Re:My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
So you scolded her for the least important thing, a rule infraction, rather than addressing the really BIG thing, the nasty stuff that is now filling her head? And then you sent her off to stew about it alone, with no explanation or guidance? Massive parenting fail.
I say you start with an apology for losing sight of the big thing, the importance of understanding what she saw. Ask her if she would like to talk to you about it. If she doesn't want to because you made her feel ashamed or defensive, leave the door open but do not hound her. Remembering myself at that age, though, I fear you may have slammed that door so hard that it's now permanently jammed.
I say you start with an apology for losing sight of the big thing, the importance of understanding what she saw. Ask her if she would like to talk to you about it. If she doesn't want to because you made her feel ashamed or defensive, leave the door open but do not hound her. Remembering myself at that age, though, I fear you may have slammed that door so hard that it's now permanently jammed.
Anonymous
11/21/2012 22:45
Subject: My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
Yes, I talked to her. I said I was disappointed she broke the rule wish she did not watch it. (she locked herself in the bathroom with her father's laptop which is not allowed, we have desktop for family use). I said this is too much for her and no electronics for her for one month. I wish I could tell something more adequate but I gor totally panicked and sent her to sleep. Now I know that I have to talk to her in a more substantial way. When she was 8, I told her about sex because she wanted to know. Every time she has a question she invites me for a private talk where we discuss mostly things she hears at school and wats to check with me if it's true or false. I felt like all was going the right course and tonight...
Anonymous
11/21/2012 22:36
Subject: Re:My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
Did you talk to HER? What does SHE say about what she saw?
Anonymous
11/21/2012 22:36
Subject: My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
Anonymous wrote:OK, calm down. She doesn't need to see a therapist and her life hasn't been destroyed. This is completely normal for that age and lots of kids do this. In the old days it was sneaking copies of porn magazines, now its the internet.
Just start checking her history on a regular basis. And tell her that you are going to do that -- the point is not to catch her doing something wrong but to prevent it. Tell her that if she tries to scrub her history you will know and she will get in trouble. We never used the screening programs because they can screen too much. Once my kids knew that we were checking, they were careful. Eventually we stopped checking.
You do need to calm down. Your DD is only 10. All sorts of things are going to come up in the coming years and you've got to approach them calmly. if you find you are getting too anxious about this you should see a therapist.
OP here. I just really wish what you are saying is something that is more or less normal nowadays. I myself saw porn at 14 and was totally overwhelmed. 10 - is just WAY too early.
Anonymous
11/21/2012 22:34
Subject: My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
Anonymous wrote:What happened? Did she stream something accidentally and just kept watching?
I am sorry.
She was watching this f*cking Bieber interview and then from there she kept going on to worse and worse videos that includes rape.
Anonymous
11/21/2012 22:32
Subject: My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
Anonymous wrote:Watch the documentary that just came out: Sexy Baby.
My DH and I will watch it.
Anonymous
11/21/2012 22:31
Subject: My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
OP here - Please please please, supervise your kids while they are online. Do not trust them to be alone there. I don't wanna go into details but it's my DH who always thinks that we have to explain kids and just trust them and expect they will follow the rules. I was wrong to go along with it.
Anonymous
11/21/2012 22:29
Subject: My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
OK, calm down. She doesn't need to see a therapist and her life hasn't been destroyed. This is completely normal for that age and lots of kids do this. In the old days it was sneaking copies of porn magazines, now its the internet.
Just start checking her history on a regular basis. And tell her that you are going to do that -- the point is not to catch her doing something wrong but to prevent it. Tell her that if she tries to scrub her history you will know and she will get in trouble. We never used the screening programs because they can screen too much. Once my kids knew that we were checking, they were careful. Eventually we stopped checking.
You do need to calm down. Your DD is only 10. All sorts of things are going to come up in the coming years and you've got to approach them calmly. if you find you are getting too anxious about this you should see a therapist.
Just start checking her history on a regular basis. And tell her that you are going to do that -- the point is not to catch her doing something wrong but to prevent it. Tell her that if she tries to scrub her history you will know and she will get in trouble. We never used the screening programs because they can screen too much. Once my kids knew that we were checking, they were careful. Eventually we stopped checking.
You do need to calm down. Your DD is only 10. All sorts of things are going to come up in the coming years and you've got to approach them calmly. if you find you are getting too anxious about this you should see a therapist.
Anonymous
11/21/2012 22:28
Subject: My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
What happened? Did she stream something accidentally and just kept watching?
I am sorry.
I am sorry.
Anonymous
11/21/2012 22:19
Subject: My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
Watch the documentary that just came out: Sexy Baby.
Anonymous
11/21/2012 22:13
Subject: My 10 year old DD watched a lot of pornography just now
In about 1 hour my sweet innocent DD watched... I don't want even tell what she watched. I feel lost. Please help me. Should she see therapist. I don't know how she's going to live with all of that in her head now. It's just too much for a kid. Please help me how and what I should do. I am scared.