I'm not specifcially familiar with Virginia or your benefits plans, but generally, yes, joint custody gives you equal footing as a legal guardian. It is a huge step up from CYA legal docs, and allows you to add the children to your insurance and pension, because if you are their guardian they are your dependents. It also allows you to do bunches of everyday things, like sign school permission slips.

It is harder to know what effect a failed application in VA would have, if any. It might depend on the reasons you were denied. For example, an investigating social worker found drugs in the house, etc.

Definitely, a lawyer can help here.

Virginia is tough for same-sex couples. I know that Lucy Nichols is carving out a niche in that domain and would be able to help you. She is an excellent attorney at Pasternak and Fidis. It's a Maryland firm, but she does tons of Va. work.

Hi all- when my kids were born a few years ago, we had a ton of paperwork drawn up to protect our family. We did NOT, however, petition for joint legal and physical custody. Apparently that is increasingly recommended in VA where we live and for better or worse will continue to live while our house crawls out from underwater.

Have you done this? What is the potential downside other than a judge refusing? Would that cause trouble down the line should I seek a second parent adoption if/when we move to a friendlier state? Would it allow me to add my kids to my insurance and my pension (I can't do either now and the unfairness of that burns)?

We have various CYA legal docs that allow me to travel with them, take them to the doc, etc. would this be an improvement?

Any thoughts or experiences gratefully accepted.