original poster here--Thanks to all for your feedback and suggestions for that book. It is so wonderful to share (albeit it anonymously) with parents who've been and are in the same sensitive and challenging situations with raising their SN children. Thank you thank you!

I agree that getting an aide is hard even with an IEP. DS has one now in our new school district, but MCPS refused to even consider one even with our IEP. And our current school district is very clear that the aide is there for academic tasks only - she does not help at all with facilitating social interactions, even though DS needs this kind of support as well.

Even with an IEP getting a dedicated aide is difficult. I have never heard of anyone getting an aide just for social issues.

Anonymous wrote:A 504 gets you accommodations, not services. Unlikely that an aide would be considered an accommodation.

This.

Speaking as a teacher who oversees paras, while they have their benefits and uses, and can be immensely helpful, a dedicated aide can also quickly become a crutch or a distraction. Unless it was a medical issue (e.g. a para for a child with a severe seizure disorder) I wouldn't want a para for my child unless they had very significant needs, which would likely mean they qualified for an IEP.

A 504 gets you accommodations, not services. Unlikely that an aide would be considered an accommodation.

A para-educator isn't therapeutic. They were put in place to meet ADA requirements to ensure the child's access to a school. Your child probably doesn't qualify for one.

For a kid with ADHD, I would find an OT to help with regulation issues. They can also do classroom visits and suggest strategies.

For the social skills, I would start setting up play dates as often as you can. This is a great resource:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0743254651/ricklavoiecom-20?creative=327641&camp=14573&link_code=as1

What do I need to get a paraeducator or aide for a child with a 504 plan in MoCo? Child has distractability for ADD/ADHD and needs help with social skills with peers. Performs well academically. Thanks for your help!