Unfortunately positive references don't mean much either.

I remember my old boss taking a call in front of me for someone who used to work in our office who basically was a hot mess--constantly blowing off work, not doing her job b/c she didn't really like it. She hung up the phone and said, "I'm glad that's over. I didn't want to say anything bad about her." (although she had nothing good to say about her in real life)

A friend of mine works at a law firm where they terminated a lawyer for what was essentially sexual assault and managed to convince the victim not to contact police. This guy had a new job within weeks. I'm sure they had nothing bad to say about him.

Maybe people are two faced and you think they're going to give a good ref. Our maybe they think they'll just verify dates if employment.

Maybe people are two faced and you think they're going to give a good ref. Our maybe they think they'll just verify dates if employment.

Anonymous wrote:Who asks a reference beforehand what they are going to say? Or do you mean be sure to check with them first before listing them as a reference?

Obviously people don't. But what I meant was you should have a good idea as to whether the person is going to say positive or negative things about you. Before I wrote this thread, I called a list of references for a potential business partnership. I was shocked at what people said. I almost wanted to laugh because why would you give someone a list of references that are not going to paint you in a favorable light? Maybe people think that you won't actually call.

Who asks a reference beforehand what they are going to say? Or do you mean be sure to check with them first before listing them as a reference?

If you give references, business or personal, PLEASE be sure you know what that reference is going to say. Do not assume.

That is all.