When I was applying for K I sort of thought it was all or nothing.

Now I realize that so many people after a few years realize their children's personality and learning styles and move, adjust, etc.

My children did k-3 in one school, 4- middle in another school and will probably go to a different high school.

People move from private to public, public to private, private to private, public to public, etc.

You can only make the best decision you can when choosing a school for somebody going into K because really you are going on so little information.

We also regret that we didn't pay more attention to the cost of sending two kids to private school. Do seriously consider your finances and your ability to make this long-term commitment. Don't just assume you will keep getting pay raises. Ask yourself if you will still be able to save adequately for college, so when the time comes, you will be able to afford the ivy your kid might get into.

I also regret that we didn't appreciate just how much of admission is about the parents instead of the kid. In retrospect, looking back at our experiences and the experiences of friends, there were some factors (sibling, URM, wealth, parents' jobs) that did seem to play an outsize role in admissions for kids who in other respects, like test scores, seemed similar. It's a bit disillusioning to me, even if our personal observations might amount to anecdotes more than a dataset.

I regret the fact that I was over optimistic about being able to afford private for three kids for 15+ years. Like others, DC 1 went and did so well there, so we enrolled the others and for the most part they did great and were very happy. So were we, at least until DH and I realized (sadly) that while tuitions kept going up our salaries did not. Then it became stressful to allot over 50% of what we make to private schooling. In the end we jumped ship to public. It's been a hard transition. I wish I'd have thought that through more at the start.

We looked at private school twice: in Kindergarten and in Middle School. We went with public in elementary, then to private for middle -- looking only at PK-8 schools; while we don't love the admissions process (!), our feeling was that the PK-8 experience would foster the kind of middle years experience we wanted our DC to have. When we looked for Kindergarten, I wish someone had told us to look at the middle school students to see if those are the kinds of students you want your children to become. Kindergarten for Kindergarten's sake matters, but what really matters is the kind of student and person the school is helping shape. Our tours focused a lot on the early years, and we were not as wise as we should have been about looking forward as (as noted, in the end we went public for elem, but figured I'd flag in the event it is helpful to others).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Came to profoundly regret not having looked seriously at public school first.

You beat me to it. I know and still believe dc's school experience is superior to the JKLM down the street, but I'm pretty sure it's not $250k better (so far).

We live in MoCo and did look seriously at public school first. I'm glad that we did, because we really appreciate all our private has to offer that the public didn't and feel that it is worth every penny.

I second PP's recommendation to not wait until the last minute. Because we planned on going the public route, we didn't start looking at schools until late November and also felt like we were running up against the deadline for everything and attending open houses/interviews/play dates all at once. It was exhausting and it would have been less stressful had we started earlier.

15:16 again.

4. I wish I had not been so afraid of the admissions people. At the time, I considered them the enemy, and assumed they were carefully judging and weighing everything about me, just looking for an opportunity to reject my child. As a result, I did not ask many of the questions I should have asked. Now that I know them better, I realize the admissions people are far more focused on getting information to applicant families (or at least the ones at my kids' school are), and are not judgmental at all. All of them have seen disorganized parents, people of all backgrounds and experiences, parents who ask dumb questions at the open houses, and kids who melt down at playdates. While I'm sure truly offensive actions could hurt your child's chances of admission, most admissions people don't hold the dumb stuff against you. So don't be afraid to ask them questions or seek more info!

Anonymous wrote:Came to profoundly regret not having looked seriously at public school first.

You beat me to it. I know and still believe dc's school experience is superior to the JKLM down the street, but I'm pretty sure it's not $250k better (so far).

1. I wish we'd started the process earlier in the year. We did not start even considering private schools until late October, and then it took until late November to find time to attend open houses and tours. So when we finally got around to applying, we were constantly running right up against deadlines for the applications, the recs, the playdates, etc.

2. I wish I'd spent less time worrying about many of the negative comments on DCUM. I spent tons of time searching the threads here, and other sources, to weigh the veracity of many criticism of the schools we were considering. In hindsight, I realize it was all bullshit and snark. I could have saved lots of time. I do think there is lots of good information on these threads about the schools and their approaches, but it's usually buried under lots of garbage. I'd focus on the positive comments you can find, since although those might be exaggerated, they're rarely flat-out lies (which is often the case with negative comments).

3. I wish I'd made more of an effort to talk one-on-one to other parents at the schools we were considering. We did not know anyone at any of the private schools where we applied (since most of our neighborhood goes public), so we did all the investigation ourselves. I think we made the right choice on schools, but in hindsight, we could have saved time and work if we'd used our network more effectively. I'm sure I could have found a friend-of-a-friend at each of the schools we were considering, and gotten a lot better sense of the schools quickly by having some phone calls with those people. At the very least, I might have asked the admissions offices for names of current parents I could contact to get opinions about the schools.

HTH. I have no regrets about applying to private schools, or about the school we ultimately chose for our family. I do think I could have gone about the process more effectively though. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:Wish I had asked for and gotten a copy of the handbook. Our school didn't give it to us until after we enrolled. Big mistake.

What did it say that was so bad?

Wish I had asked for and gotten a copy of the handbook. Our school didn't give it to us until after we enrolled. Big mistake.

Anonymous wrote:The fact that I ultimately would have the expense of multiple kids going....started with just one, then drank the Kool-aid

+1

The fact that I ultimately would have the expense of multiple kids going....started with just one, then drank the Kool-aid

Social atmosphere

Came to profoundly regret not having looked seriously at public school first.

Looking back on the whole process.