Anonymous wrote:Odds are... your husband may very well not be as hot as you think. Just saying... People do not always stare because they find a person attractive. I usually do the opposite.

Trollmuffin, what makes you so trolly?

OP, the awesome thing about true love is that it doesn't matter one iota what anyone else thinks, and less than that what the starving-industrial complex thinks, as long as you want each other. I am a fat old broad in sensible shoes and all my husband sees is our long and wonderful history.

Twenty pounds? THAT'S what's got you all worked up? Oh, honey. Stop.

You know what is unattractive about twenty pounds, to the man who loves you? Mentioning it. Making an issue of it. Being anything but confident.

Just take care of yourself, dress the body you actually have like the luscious life-giving wonder it is, and love on your man. I'd bet money you're not giving him big sweet kisses every day. Start with that. Takes ten seconds, makes you both feel amazing. Do eet!

Odds are... your husband may very well not be as hot as you think. Just saying... People do not always stare because they find a person attractive. I usually do the opposite.

Anonymous wrote:You all are the best! Thanks for the supportive and funny posts. This is probably a mid life crisis thing. It's challenging. Because I used to be pretty but now feel really crappy. Not so easy to put myself back together because the kids drain me so much. Have gained 20 pounds with pregnancies, boobs not as perky anymore, face beginning to sag. I know this hardly sounds like a huge problem - I'm healthy as far as I know. I certainly don't expect a pity party in my honor. Just wondering if there are other women out there like me. To the poster who loves his curvy wife, what a lucky woman she is! You sound like a dream...

Hey, we are all getting older. I am over 50 and don't have the same body anymore. But what we do have as we got older is confidence (hopefully) and life experiences to share. You way 20 lbs more? Like the poster with the curvy wife, there are men who like that and maybe your husband is one of them.

You all are the best! Thanks for the supportive and funny posts. This is probably a mid life crisis thing. It's challenging. Because I used to be pretty but now feel really crappy. Not so easy to put myself back together because the kids drain me so much. Have gained 20 pounds with pregnancies, boobs not as perky anymore, face beginning to sag. I know this hardly sounds like a huge problem - I'm healthy as far as I know. I certainly don't expect a pity party in my honor. Just wondering if there are other women out there like me. To the poster who loves his curvy wife, what a lucky woman she is! You sound like a dream...

Are you simply comparing yourself to other women? Do they dress better, weigh less, style hair differently? Are they more fun to be around? If you feel, "behind the times", you can get new clothes, work out & lose a few pounds, take up a sport or new hobby, etc. If your are too much "in a mold" you don't have to stay there. Molds can be broken.

Then again, you may be a great catch and not even know it. Maybe your DH knows something you don't.

I would just enjoy having a hot hubby. He is after all choosing YOU over anyone else which means that he must love you tons!!

Be flattered that other women stare at him.
Take it as the ultimate compliment Dear.

I agree - why so insecure?

We will all age. With that comes change. Some of us handle it better than others, but by 70, none of us is a supermodel. Don't you think your DH knew that before you got married? Try to imagine this: he loves you for who you are, not what you look like.

OP, I am not a model but in good shape, nice smile, and even when we walk into a restaurant, people will smile at me. My wife is curvy and wears glasses, yet I am totally turned on by her after years together. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder so why are you getting down on yourself. For what it's worth, traditionally very good looking women don't do it for me.

Op, maybe your husband doesn't look at you and see unattractive. maybe he sees the woman he loves. Why are you fixating on this unimportant difference?

Although other people's stories are irrelevant to the story of your marriage, since you ask, here's one. An old school friend who's not attractive married a model-handsome man. All of us in her circle of friends were a little surprised, but happy for them. It seemed like a good match, they seemed to love each other. Eventually we saw that underneath the charming ditziness that had made her a fun friend when we were in school together, she was scarily manipulative. Within a year or two of their marriage, her husband was diagnosed with a very serious and debilitating mental disorder, and it became clear that he was, unfortunately, very good victim material. Sad situation.

Honey? You look at him. Do you like what you see? Cool. He looks at you. Does he like what he sees? Cool. It's not your job to decide whether he likes what he sees. Or worry about it. It's your job to enjoy the love of a good man and hopefully jump his bones as often as his hotness demands.

Are you gay? Sadly that's usually the only way a less attractive spouse can get a hotter male spouse.

Has your appearance changed significantly over the years? If not its a non-issue. He's always loved you for you. If you've let yourself go to hell, what can you do to work on it? You can't lose 50lbs overnight but a little makeup and some flattering clothes go a long way.

Well, not anymore, that is. Always feel like people look at us and wonder what he sees in me. Or, worse yet, feel sorry for him. Very painful. Just today we were at a restaurant and a very beautiful woman kept staring at him. Makes me feel so crappy! He's very loyal, but It must be hard for him to resist such attention. Lately I've even been feeling guilty for "trapping him." anyone else?