Cheating, if there's no way the spouse would find out, as in the OP's scenario, is a victimless crime. And I think most people -- indeed, the most rational, smart people -- would not be riddled with guilt over a victimless crime.

The problem comes in when that supposedly emotionless quickie turns into something more and/or gets discovered.

OP here, I'm not saying all men cheat. I'm sure there are throngs of men who haven't and will never cheat. My post is more about the reason why non-cheaters haven't cheated or will never cheat. If they were offered sex on a platter by women who they find attractive, with the assurance that no one would find out/all hell won't break lose, would they go for it?

Take celebrities for example, many of the good looking men have women clamoring left and right for their attention and most of them end up sucumbing because they can't resist. Now imagine that your average joe DH has attractive women left and right making googly faces at him, do you think he will eventually cave?

I love my wife and kids. Of course I do. But if the opportunity arose to bang some hot chick with no repercussions, I'd bang her in a heart beat. Since no one else would know, it wouldn't harm anything. I can live with myself totally. It doesn't mean I love the family less.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course that isn't true.

Do you know anyone who has been happily and faithfully married for 50 years? Do you really think that there has been NO ONE that would have banged them in those 50 years?

Offered to bang them you mean? Pursuing an affair is one thing, having hot women actively solicit sex from you is another.

+1
I think many married men are faithful in the first sense, but very few ever find themselves in the second-type situation. I do believe many would succumb.

those that are sluts will attract sluts

This is a very cynical thread.

Anonymous wrote:Men and women cheat. More than you care to think. The reaons is marriage is built to fail-maybe not fail to divorce but failed so that others will cheat.

You change your clothes every few years, you change yoru car, you change your landscaping, you change the paint in your house, you change your hair, you change your shoes, why? you get bored. you cheat, why because you get bored.

People need 3 people

Financial support
Emotional support
Sexual support

As much as many of you think that you are the triple crown and are all 3 to your spouse you are wrong.

I agree with most of this but it is a bad analogy. You replace those things not because you are bored but because they wear out. You cheat because your spouse has not provided the last two items on your list but maybe you aren't doing your job either.

I had a client assuring me ALL men cheat. It's just a matter of how you deal with it. She was an older, very beautiful, very vain, very hurt woman who had never married or had children, and with a pseudo air of self confidence but when we delved into her belief system her life was so sad.

I told her as long as she continued to believe that, that it would be true for her and she'd keep finding the men who'd make it true.

She assured me my husband had either already cheated, was going to cheat, or quite probably had his dick in someone else AT THAT VERY MOMENT. I wasn't offended or mad, -we were laughing and talking about it... but I was 6 months pg at the time so DH and I had a chortle about it later.

I think in life, it's mostly grey... sure some 50+ marrieds may have cheated based on opportunity or seeking it out... and some havent... and then some people are black and white like this lady "All men" etc...

It reminded me of that Nina Simone song "the other woman".

A lot of men don't cheat. People approach marriage differently and the ones that have the most success appear to take great pride in their role as husband.

Of course people cheat, but that doesn't mean ALL people cheat.

Men and women cheat. More than you care to think. The reaons is marriage is built to fail-maybe not fail to divorce but failed so that others will cheat.

You change your clothes every few years, you change yoru car, you change your landscaping, you change the paint in your house, you change your hair, you change your shoes, why? you get bored. you cheat, why because you get bored.

People need 3 people

Financial support
Emotional support
Sexual support

As much as many of you think that you are the triple crown and are all 3 to your spouse you are wrong.

Anonymous wrote:Of course that isn't true.

Do you know anyone who has been happily and faithfully married for 50 years? Do you really think that there has been NO ONE that would have banged them in those 50 years?

I'm not the OP, but there's no way of knowing whether that happily-married-for-50-years couple was actually faithful to each other for all 50 years.

Anonymous wrote:Of course that isn't true.

Do you know anyone who has been happily and faithfully married for 50 years? Do you really think that there has been NO ONE that would have banged them in those 50 years?

Offered to bang them you mean? Pursuing an affair is one thing, having hot women actively solicit sex from you is another.

Of course that isn't true.

Do you know anyone who has been happily and faithfully married for 50 years? Do you really think that there has been NO ONE that would have banged them in those 50 years?

The nanny/ Au Pair banging DB and another thread about women not hiring hot nannys has me thinking about the statement above. Is it really true that men don't cheat because they don't have someone to cheat with or don't have women throw themselves at them? I trust my husband and to the best of my knowledge, he's never cheated on me, but if Megan Fox offered him a quick BJ and he was absolutely sure that it would remain a secret, I don't know if he'd turn it down. Am I upset at this thought? honestly no. But what does that say about my marriage?