I don't have legal advice for this I'm afraid. But it sounds like you have at least 2 kids? Is one older than the 4 year old? I'd talk to them both about safety, and enlist the older child to work with pedestrian safety as well. Have the kids hold hands with one another at least. It's not fail proof of course, but they are going to have to learn to look after themselves better if their dad isn't.

Because you are right. You can't make him responsible. It sounds like he's had odd issues like this while married so it's not new? Supervised visitation may be the way to go.

Why are kids afraid to ride with him? Has he done something while driving and/or had an accident, or are they feeding off your anxiety (or someone else's)?

What kind of car and/or car seats does he have? Are they generally safe? Is he good about buckling them in properly?

Ex has always been inattentive at best. He is not a good driver. Our 4 yr old is very hyper and may have attention issues. The ped recommeneded OT after his behavior at a checkup. Ex does not hold DC's hand and DC has almost been hit by a car several times. I have seen 2 incidents and the kids have reported others. My lawyer says to document but does anyone have experience with "what then"? Ex is also being a jerk about money and the lawyer fears "retaliation". I'd prefer that he be resonsible rather than have supervised visitation but that isn't something I can control. Talking to him and DC has not changed anything. Advice? Also, ex refuses to go to driving school. The kids are afraid to ride with him and he didn't really drive them when we were together (living in DC helped). Anyone faced that?