Delivered from Distraction is a great book that may help you understand your spouse better.

You migt think about looking for an NIH study. We particpate and get fabulous evaluations at no cost to us. You can search for one here http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/search

Also I should add that our insurance paid for at least half of the eval.

I don't know ... it is expensive but there are a battery of tests used to identify ADHD and particularly Asperger's.

OP here, We are in DC. Is there any form of adult evaluation that doesn't involve a $3200 bill like at Stixrud?

DH was evalauted as an adult at Stixrud and Associates in Silver Spring. They have at least one neuropsych who specializes in adults. It was very helpful.

Where are you located?

Also, there are some adult support groups for things like Aspergers, anxiety, ADHD:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/26481.page

A support group might have some helpful suggestions.

Where can adults can evaluated. I am definitely dealing with one of the above and instead of constantly getting mad at him, maybe if he gets a diagnosis I'll understand him better and together we can develop strategies. I've heard of other couples where it really helped once there was a diagnosis in place. Any ideas where to go?