My 2.5 year old was saying 75% of the time by 2. Needed a few reminders.

I agree that as soon as they start speaking two word phrases, they can learn to say please and thank you. My son used signs before speaking and was doing please and thank you signs at 16 months. Now he's almost two and always uses please and thank you -- I expect it and prompt it a lot. What's extra douchy is that I was at a playgroup with a mom who heard me ask my son to say please and thank you when he was asking for toy. He did. She said, "I don't expect <daughter> to say that just because I tell her. I don't want her to say things just because an authoritarian figure is telling her to." 5 minutes later, her 2 and a half year old daughter starting burping on purpose, and then mother just laughed and asked her to do it again. Suffice it to say, they won't be coming over to my house for dinner any time soon.

My son signed please at 8 mths... for everything. Now at 2.5 every request begins with Please and usually ends with a Thank You. If he forgets I remind him to ask nicely for something that he wants and he asks again.

My dd was doing this at 2, including saying "excuse me.". I thought I had the most polite kid alive. Fast forward to 3.5 and about 75% of the time it's whining and we have to remind her each time to say please. We have to remind about Thank you 90% of the time. I dont know what happened.

and here I was going to say 9....

Anonymous wrote:What's a reasonable age to expect your child to say "please" when asking for something, instead of "I want X!" Same question for "thank you."

I think a reasonable time to expect please is when your kid can put two words (e.g. up please) together. If they can say "I want X" then they're there.

As far as "thank you", I think that very young kids (e.g. under 2) often take a little time to figure out exactly which actions require a "thank you", so I would expect to remind them or cue them a little longer than for please. I think it's reasonable to expect "thanks" or "thank you" before 2 when prompted, but not spontaneously.

2.5 DD sometimes says it on her own, always says it when prompted.

2. If you don't say please, you aren't given whatever you're asking for. If you don't say thank you, whatever you got gets taken away.

I remind my 2.5 year old and he doesn't fight saying it.

Before 2 we were golden. Now at 2.5 we have to remind that we don't whine. But she totally gets it. (Think #1 was in a similar age range, but can't remember.)

My two year old (older two) uses "May I please have..." Simple pleases and thank yous were taught in her one year old class at day care so I know she and most of her peers were using those in the ones. But children have varying language skills at early ages and it's not fair to expect the same of a very verbal one or two year old and one who only has a couple of words.

My 23 month old has been saying please and thank you consistently for a few months - a product of day care's consistent modeling of please and thank you, I think.

Our 2 year old was a master at this. At 3, still pretty polite.

We expect it from our 2 year old. We don't need 100% cooperation but we are teaching him that he needs to say it.

What's a reasonable age to expect your child to say "please" when asking for something, instead of "I want X!" Same question for "thank you."