Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are happy, your kids will be happy.

Nope, mine did not thrive after divorce.

I'm sorry to hear that. Hope things get better!

Thanks, it wasn't my idea but I'm building the best life for them that I can. Ex is very selfish and bought the divorce is the answer propaganda. He's still unhappy but we're working on it.

Anonymous wrote:My cousin is morbidly obese. She is 43. She told me last year that she was sexually abused.

So were a lot of skinny people.

The Rules.

"always trust your gut."

sorry, but some people's guts just aren't rational.

My cousin is morbidly obese. She is 43. She told me last year that she was sexually abused.

Anonymous wrote:"Don't go to bed angry."

Sometimes it helps to go to bed and wake up in the morning with a new perspective.

'If you're going to say it, say it to my face."

Most people do not want to be told their obnoxious qualities to their face. And you can love someone and yet have things that drive you crazy about them too, and I don't see a problem with venting about those things to an unbiased third party.

Agree with you about say it to my face. People rarely take that well. I'm careful who I vent though. I try not to say negative things about people, but my husband is definitely a safe person to vent to and bounce ideas off of.

Re: don't go to bed angry...If I'm angry with a friend then definitely need to go to bed angry and have time to mull things over. With my husband if we had a fight and haven't made up I don't sleep that night.

Anonymous wrote:If you are happy, your kids will be happy.

Nope, mine did not thrive after divorce.

I'm sorry to hear that. Hope things get better!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all overweight people are depressed. Not all overweight women have had sexual abuse in their past.

I've never heard either of these.

Yeah, I had read those who are overweight, anorexic or bullimic are more likely to have sexual abuse in the past. I think what I read in pop psych magazines about obesity is there is always something "eating you" that leads one to overeat. I will say for me when I have been overweight that has been the case. I'm an emotional eater. Have also gone overboard with losing weight and I think that also was stress related. Actually, every person I know with an eating disorder of any sort-obese, anorexic or bullimic is disordered due to an unhealthy way of coping with real stress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all overweight people are depressed. Not all overweight women have had sexual abuse in their past.

Not all people who are reluctant to become immediately intimate (not sexually intimate; I'm talking about emotional intimacy) have trauma in their past.

Thought this is just a matter of being a cautious person, or someone with lifetime experience.

I thought pop psych would say those who become intimate emotionally or physically right away have trouble with boundaries, no?

Anonymous wrote:Not all overweight people are depressed. Not all overweight women have had sexual abuse in their past.

Not all people who are reluctant to become immediately intimate (not sexually intimate; I'm talking about emotional intimacy) have trauma in their past.

Thought this is just a matter of being a cautious person, or someone with lifetime experience.

Anonymous wrote:Not all overweight people are depressed. Not all overweight women have had sexual abuse in their past.

I've never heard either of these.

Not all overweight people are depressed. Not all overweight women have had sexual abuse in their past.

Not all people who are reluctant to become immediately intimate (not sexually intimate; I'm talking about emotional intimacy) have trauma in their past.

If you are happy, your kids will be happy.

Nope, mine did not thrive after divorce.

"Don't go to bed angry."

Sometimes it helps to go to bed and wake up in the morning with a new perspective.

'If you're going to say it, say it to my face."

Most people do not want to be told their obnoxious qualities to their face. And you can love someone and yet have things that drive you crazy about them too, and I don't see a problem with venting about those things to an unbiased third party.

Here's what advice i would not use..

If someone does something that bothers you, confront them about it right away. Don't let it fester.

I know I can be hypersensitive. If I confronted every person about everything that bothers me I'd drive them nuts. If something upsets me I take time to think about why. I may take a break from a friend if I feel insulted by something, but the break doesn't last long. Often, I realize it wasn't a big deal. I try and let at the situation different ways. I only confront something if it's major and that's rare.

The few people I know who confront people about every little thing that bothers him seem to be self absorbed.I'm for choosing your battles and trying to give people the benefit of the doubt.