Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the responses so far. To be clear, DD is not afraid of pooping in the potty. In fact, she's trying to do it with all her might. She wants to poop in the potty so badly, she is refusing to poop in her underwear which I'm afraid will lead to constipation. Thus, I don't want to try cutting a hole in the diaper or similar tricks. She can't poop while sitting down in a diaper, either. She seems to only poop standing up.

We'll try squatting on the toilet and see if that helps.

It also seems like she needs prunes or miralax or something to help the poop come out softer and more easily.

OP again - I'd also like to give her time and maybe give back a pull up for a while, but we're starting preschool in 2 weeks and the new school requires that 3 year olds be pee and poop trained. So we're under a dead line. Sigh.

OP here. Thanks for the responses so far. To be clear, DD is not afraid of pooping in the potty. In fact, she's trying to do it with all her might. She wants to poop in the potty so badly, she is refusing to poop in her underwear which I'm afraid will lead to constipation. Thus, I don't want to try cutting a hole in the diaper or similar tricks. She can't poop while sitting down in a diaper, either. She seems to only poop standing up.

We'll try squatting on the toilet and see if that helps.

My son also struggled a bit with pooping and since I don't believe that kids needs to be fully potty-trained with no exceptions by age X, and he's an incredibly stubborn kid (no idea where that might come from...), I didn't want to force anything that might backfire on us. Like allowing him to only poop on the toilet--knowing, since I am currently pregnant, just how painful constipation can be. So he got the occasional diaper to poop in. We'd always encourage him to try the toilet or the little potty first. Sometimes he'd try, sometimes he'd refuse and ask for a diaper. No big deal to us either way. That's the type of kid he is, though, and his dad is exactly the same way. If you try to MAKE one of them do something, you're just making your own life miserable (important health and safety issues aside, obviously). It's been weeks now since he asked for a diaper, so it's worked for us.

Having a footstool makes a difference for him, too--if you're using the little potty, maybe a book or two under her feet? And yes to prunes (gross, I can't blame her if she won't touch them), pears (you can buy little bottles of pear juice, too), etc. and limit bananas for a few days.

Anonymous wrote:I would check your pediatrician.

Many kids do go back to pooping in a diaper while in the bathroom, then you can gradually cut a hole in the diaper so the poop comes out in the toilet. By the time they are wearing it as a waistband they are usually past the fear. I think this was a Dr. Jay Gordon method, a friend did it, you could Google.

You don't want to end up with a stretched out colon, she is probably constipated at this point. Isn't Miralax prescription? You could try something like prune juice I suppose.

You might also want to try a seat on a regular potty with her feet on a stool.

MIRALAX or a generic equivalent is over the counter.
How about putting on a pullup...let her poop in the pullup in the bathroom
can you then pop her on the toilet once she starts.
Or just let her poop IN THE PULLUP on the toilet ...as her anxiety lessens...maybe u can lose the pullup

Give her a step stool to put her feet on and give her a couple of prunes or juice to help the constipation. Do not put a diaper back on and cut a hole as others suggested. That is just ridiculous. Your dd knows what to do and is doing it. You just want her to Help get the poop out so you need to loosen the stool and raise her feet.

Good luck, OP. Others reading this--this is why to start training earlier. Habits get much more established physically as you wait.

I get my dd's a stool to set their legs on, and that helps the poop come out since it raises their legs as other pp's mention. I also highly recommend this book. My 6 year old dd even requested that we read it last night because she was having trouble pooping. She really likes to know that other kids have the same problem as she does.

Also, give her miralax to help her poops get out, even if just temporarily. I dissolve the miralax in some gatorade or other favorite beverage.

http://www.amazon.com/Hurts-When-Poop-Children-Scared/dp/1433801302/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1345231165&sr=1-1&keywords=it+hurts+when+i+poop

Agree with squatting and maybe giving a little prune juice or something else to help move things along. My DD had the same issue and became constipated from holding it in. It turned into a vicious cycle because then it became too painful to poop and she really had trouble. We raised her knees up like another PP said but also sat together in the bathroom for awhile. I would read her books and we'd talk about courage and how I knew she could get the courage to do it and once she started it would be over really fast and wouldn't hurt anymore. I even used the Qtip trick and some vaseline (had to do this when she was a baby) and that helped get her going in giving her the urge to push. Of course, I asked first and she finally relented. I didn't want to make it anymore traumatic but she finally did it and boy was I proud. Crazy how pooping becomes an accomplishment that brings tears to a mommy's eyes. Yikes.

I tell my little guy to drink water, which can help relieve constipation and I just think giving them something to focus on that isn't the potty can help. I agree that encouraging her to try different positions will help her, like tell her to "squish" around her tummy by pushing it in and out, etc.

It's a process.

Can you put the diaper on but cut a hole so the poop can fall into the toilet?

I would check your pediatrician.

Many kids do go back to pooping in a diaper while in the bathroom, then you can gradually cut a hole in the diaper so the poop comes out in the toilet. By the time they are wearing it as a waistband they are usually past the fear. I think this was a Dr. Jay Gordon method, a friend did it, you could Google.

You don't want to end up with a stretched out colon, she is probably constipated at this point. Isn't Miralax prescription? You could try something like prune juice I suppose.

You might also want to try a seat on a regular potty with her feet on a stool.

Anonymous wrote:Her knees need to be higher than her belly. Squatting on the toilet seat will help.

That's how my son does it. I'm a little worried because at some point he needs to not have to do that but for now it works.

Her knees need to be higher than her belly. Squatting on the toilet seat will help.

DD has finally got the hang of peeing in the potty and she's doing a great job - even waking up in the middle of the night to pee in the little potty in her room, rather than wetting the bed. The problem is that she seems physically incapable of pooping while sitting on the toilet. For the first few days, she would run to the potty to poop and after 5 or 6 unsuccessful trips to the potty she would simply poop in her underwear. Now she seems to understand that pooping in underwear is bad and she really doesn't want to have accidents. So now she's simply not going poop at all. She didn't poop yesterday and by this afternoon she is really uncomfortable (she usually poops 2-3 times per day without fail). This morning, she was sobbing on the potty and clutching her tummy, begging me to help the poop come out. What can I do?! Most of the posts I've read deal with kids who don't WANT to poop in the potty or who are afraid of pooping on the potty. My DD seems unable to physically move it out of her bowels while in the sitting position. I felt so bad for her today that I almost gave her a diaper to poop in, but I restrained myself as I'm afraid that will set back training for months. FWIW, she's trying in the little potty on the floor, so her feet are not dangling. Is there anything else we can do for her, or will she eventually just get it? Should I give her Miralax to sort of force the poop to come out?