Relational aggression seems to be most common. The schools have an odd way of handling bullying. They seem to be very vigilant about physical interaction. Kids are not allowed to play tag on the playground for example. However, they don't seem to do much in the early years about the type of bullying that girls do such as excluding other kids on the playground...we're all playing but you can't play with anyone or teasing and name calling.

My DD is pretty social but I credit her preschool-K with instilling a strong sense of empathy for others. She was upset that other girls and one girl in particular were always picking on one girl and teasing her. I actually spoke with the teacher who was aware of the situation, it was a problem but said there wasn't much that could be done at recess as teachers and parent volunteers don't intervene unless there are physical issues.

This never would have continued at our preK-K school. They viewed these situations as opportunities to teach the kids who were the aggressors how to be empathic. In public school, it seems that the focus is on how to make the victims just deal with it. This is very sad IMO because in the early elementary ages I don't think kids are inherently mean or bad. The bullies seem to all have social problems of their own and they are trying to find a way to fit in and find friends too. Unfortunately, they are learning that they get more power and social status by excluding or belittling others. If no one intervenes, this just becomes their standard behavior. Its wrong to say its just a parental issue because these situations come up in a group environment at school not at home or with one of two kids coming over to play. IMO the schools have a responsibility to deal effectively with these situation in way that helps both the bully and the victim.

Bullying often starts with the parents or the PTA. If PTA moms call other names, their child will be doing the same.

ugh, pp! what a terrible reaction by all involved at the school!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you. We are starting school this year. It's my understanding that there is a bullying issue at our school. I do no know what the issue is (no one is talking about it), so I just wanted to be prepared for what to look out for if it does happen.

Would you mind sharing which school this is?

+1 - school's name?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, 14:09, that is nasty stuff.

How did you refrain from doing something rash yourself? I can't imagine the anger I would have felt if my DD came home with a tale like this, and the admin's response. Ugh.

14:09 again. It never should have gotten to the pencil-shavings-in-the-head incident (and, to top it off, the teacher ordered my DD to "clean-up that mess on your desk" -- which started another round of laughter/snickers from bully and bystanders). I really regret that I wasted so much time and energy expecting that the adults in the school could/would handle the situation -- after all, they were dealing with 7-8 yr olds. Eventually, I came to my senses and started wondering how I would feel if I were the bully's parent, and luckily it turned out that bully's mom reacted in the same way I imagine that I would have if the shoe were on the other foot ("I'm so sorry this happened, and it won't happen again."). But I don't know what I would have done if bully's mom had an opposite reaction (like "Your child's a loser and so are you." Click!).

You are absolutely right -- it never should have gotten that far. The problem is that the school never contacts the parents. They try to deal with it themselves and it doesn't work.

Anonymous wrote:Any day now attorneys will start filing law suits claiming that insomnia, anxiety, becoming a fat load, unemployment, impotence, and name the rest, was the result of bullying 20 years ago.

Every year its a new gimmick.

Said the former bully.

Any day now attorneys will start filing law suits claiming that insomnia, anxiety, becoming a fat load, unemployment, impotence, and name the rest, was the result of bullying 20 years ago.

Every year its a new gimmick.

Anonymous wrote:OMG, 14:09, that is nasty stuff.

How did you refrain from doing something rash yourself? I can't imagine the anger I would have felt if my DD came home with a tale like this, and the admin's response. Ugh.

14:09 again. It never should have gotten to the pencil-shavings-in-the-head incident (and, to top it off, the teacher ordered my DD to "clean-up that mess on your desk" -- which started another round of laughter/snickers from bully and bystanders). I really regret that I wasted so much time and energy expecting that the adults in the school could/would handle the situation -- after all, they were dealing with 7-8 yr olds. Eventually, I came to my senses and started wondering how I would feel if I were the bully's parent, and luckily it turned out that bully's mom reacted in the same way I imagine that I would have if the shoe were on the other foot ("I'm so sorry this happened, and it won't happen again."). But I don't know what I would have done if bully's mom had an opposite reaction (like "Your child's a loser and so are you." Click!).

OMG, 14:09, that is nasty stuff.

How did you refrain from doing something rash yourself? I can't imagine the anger I would have felt if my DD came home with a tale like this, and the admin's response. Ugh.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you. We are starting school this year. It's my understanding that there is a bullying issue at our school. I do no know what the issue is (no one is talking about it), so I just wanted to be prepared for what to look out for if it does happen.

For my DD, the bullying started in 2nd grade when she started wearing glasses; it took the form of someone else's DC calling her names/acting blind while classmates snickered, kicking her chair, pulling her ponytail, trying to trip her, etc. Nothing came of complaining to the classroom teacher . . . then the guidance counselor . . . or finally to the principal except that my DD was required to write a letter to the bully (basically, "pretty please stop bothering me because you're hurting my feelings") -- which only escalated the bullying and then the school's response to my 7-year-old was to just "suck it up" and ignore the bully! That advice didn't work for me, so the next time my DD came home complaining, I called the bully's mom and let her know what was going on from my child's point of view (for example, my DD told me that she couldn't concentrate during math today because your DC kept kicking her chair and then dumped a handful of pencil shavings on her head . . .); DD never had a problem with the bully again.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you. We are starting school this year. It's my understanding that there is a bullying issue at our school. I do no know what the issue is (no one is talking about it), so I just wanted to be prepared for what to look out for if it does happen.

Would you mind sharing which school this is?

OP here. Thank you. We are starting school this year. It's my understanding that there is a bullying issue at our school. I do no know what the issue is (no one is talking about it), so I just wanted to be prepared for what to look out for if it does happen.

My daughter was bullied in K and 1st. It consisted of teasing, walking up behind her to scare her, sitting next to her at lunch and bothering her, shoving her into walls and lockers etc. School didn't do anything about it so we finally pulled her out and sent her to private. From what I hear the same group of boys just shifted to other kids.

My understanding is that it is mostly on the (very) unsupervised playgrounds of crowded schools (at our school recess is approximately 250 students with 3 playground aides)...with boys it seems to be either not allowing kids to play certain games, teasing, running after with sticks...And then with the girls, I think it is more emotional--intentionally making girls feel left out, etc.

What does it look like? I'm honestly curious. Are we talking name calling, beating children up? stealing clothing?