I use the term and I will also say my DS has a disability (he has an ASD) which offended someone on another thread.

Anonymous wrote:I agree it may be self-defined, but I think it may be fair to say that the formal/legal definition would fall under whether your child qualifies for an IEP.

Well that is a slippery slope - 508 maybe. Kids suffering from depression or anxieties might not have an IEP. There may be issues that don't affect learning at all.

I come to the SN because there is a wealth of knowledge that does not exist on the general parenting or older child board.

Like new studies in anxiety medications or certain triggers for allergies or how tics can be managed with exercise and breathing exercises.

Once again my kids sort of fall through the cracks. (did not qualify for an IEP - btw)

Anonymous wrote:I wonder why so many never refer to their kids as special needs. Is there shame, or is it that their children's problems are subtle?

I am PP who only refers to my son as SN on this board. I actually used the term once in front of a good friend and she looked at me like I had 3 heads.

I am not ashamed.

My son's issues are very subtle. Actually, almost the opposite - he is very successful in his life, emotionally, etc.

He has stuggles but they are managed.

I also have friends who have children that can't feed themselves or can't walk at 10 yo - so I also feel a little silly/selfish/out of touch using the term for my child.

I agree it may be self-defined, but I think it may be fair to say that the formal/legal definition would fall under whether your child qualifies for an IEP.

I wonder why so many never refer to their kids as special needs. Is there shame, or is it that their children's problems are subtle?

How have I come to dislike the term?

It seems to be used as an excuse or synonym for bad behavior, as in, if there is an anecdote about a child having a temper tantrum or explosion on Gen. Parenting, someone will post, oh, he must be Special Needs. Not all SN kids have bad behavior and I don't see why it should naturally follow.

Also, people post that they don't want SN kids in the classroom because of fear they will be disruptive, and again, not all SN kids have bad behavior. And many "normal" kids have a lot worse behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

I only refer to my kids as SN on this board. Otherwise I say my kids are complicated or have "issues" with a smile.

Ditto!

+2.

DS is SN on this board only, and when it comes to getting him what he needs for his IEP otherwise he's just my quirky, funny and loving son

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I only refer to my kids as SN on this board. Otherwise I say my kids are complicated or have "issues" with a smile.

Ditto!

I don't say anything about my child's! It is apparent to those who see her (physically visible) but other than that, she is "normal" so we live a pretty easy, generally "normal" life!

I don't seek to say anything.

It's a balancing act. Sometime I say something and sometimes I don't. But if somebody say - hey Joey you need to stop (fill in the blank of this weeks tic) and it starts to bother my son because he can't stop I may say something. Sometimes I don't and ask him to say "oh that's my tic".

If somebody says wow - he seems so smart why is he being tutored - I say - oh he's dyslexic he is just learning some skills for dyslexic kids.

If he does a sleepover or a weekend away - i may say - oh he really needs to have food every 2 hours during the day because he is hypoclycemic. He will get headaches if he has too much sugar.

If somebody asks why he is in private school I say - it's complicated.

Anonymous wrote:

I only refer to my kids as SN on this board. Otherwise I say my kids are complicated or have "issues" with a smile.

Ditto!

I don't say anything about my child's! It is apparent to those who see her (physically visible) but other than that, she is "normal" so we live a pretty easy, generally "normal" life!

I only refer to my kids as SN on this board. Otherwise I say my kids are complicated or have "issues" with a smile.

Ditto!

I only refer to my kids as SN on this board. Otherwise I say my kids are complicated or have "issues" with a smile.

Tourettes, Dyslexia, Anxieties, Allergies, hypoglycemic - hell I lost count.

I don't know. I posted in the other thread that my child was born with congenital cleft lip/cleft palate. However, she is NT and has no other additional mental/emotional SNs (as far as we know). So, I did hestitatedto list my child as SNs, b/c it seemed like the other posters had children with diff. things. Shrug. I don't know.

I think all of the above are special needs.

The only thing that irks me is when people start with the garbage that "We are all disabled..." because no, we are not all disabled.

I think its self-defined.

Just wondering...

If my child visits an OT for sensory issues, but is otherwise typical, can I label her "special needs?"
If my child has some behavioral issues stemming from anxiety (or any psychiatric diagnosis) can I label him "special needs?"
If my child has no intellectual differences but has a physical disability, is this "special needs?"

I am genuinely wondering how the term is defined and how you all, as parents, have come to embrace or dislike the term.