Anonymous wrote:Helicopter parenting at its worst

OP here...***OUCH*** this is what I get posting when exhausted. And I usually hate that error, so it's especially painful. Sorry!

Helicopter parenting at its worst

I'm a first child of two girls. My mother has always treated us differently. My sister was born prematurely at 7 months, had a lot of health issues as a child but nothing that lingered into adulthood. When we were both finishing high school, I was expected to get a job and support the whole family. Why? because I could. I somehow had the interviewing skills and the "go" that it required. I went to college on another continent and finished. I am now a single mother of one raising my child away from my family? Why? Because it was extremely stressful and I somehow got in my head that I'm responsible for everyone. I didn't even know what I wanted to do, because I was stuck doing what i had to do.
Anyway, my sister never went to college, has a job but not great, has lots of hobbies and has turned into a pretty self centered princess. I love her dearly, but her life is definitely all about her.
Given the circumstances, I think I definitely would have pushed her more during teen years to achieve, or at least try to go to college. My mother always made excuses for her. I wonder why parents have different standards for their kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So true. My parents expected nothing less than straight A's from my sister and I. Our youngest sister (who was born in '78, so not a generational thing) had the same treatment as the "today" kid in the cartoon. My parents always blamed the teacher, the school, her asthma (nm that I also have asthma), and anything else they could come up with for her bad grades and poor behavior. It's no wonder she became a stripper at 17 and is now a single mother raising 2 kids on a very meager salary (well, well below the poverty line) while burning through my aging parents' retirement money. You are doing your children no favors by not making them take responsibility for their own behavior.

Not defending the helicopter parents at all... but your post seems so dysfunctional to me I have a hard time reading it without cringeing. You don't think there is any possibility that perhaps the reason your sister had "bad grades," "behavior problems" and became a stripper was, not because your parents were permissive and blamed her teachers -- but perhaps because of their unreasonable expectations (straight A's or nothing?), and an unattainable goal set by her two older sisters? C'mon. There is a grey area here. You seriously sound like an entitled bitch. There are ways to hold kids to appropriately high standards and hold them accountable for their behavior without demanding straight A's. In fact, I think it does kids a great disservice to make them think that anything less than perfection is a failure.

Perhaps your sister because a stripper because her big sisters looked down their noses at her as somehow "less" of a human being because she was unable to get straight A's?

I don't think the above PP is a helicopter parent at all... every child has different capabilities and learning needs. It sounds like the sister had some deeper rooted problems that the parents enabled instead of addressed. Straight A's or nothing IS unreasonable... it's great to have high expectations... but each child needs to be looked at individually. The mom should have high expectations but also should help the daughter address those learning issues instead of blame everybody else. So I don't see how the above post is defending helicopter parents like some PPs have stated. It's called taking the middle road... which can be a good thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So true. My parents expected nothing less than straight A's from my sister and I. Our youngest sister (who was born in '78, so not a generational thing) had the same treatment as the "today" kid in the cartoon. My parents always blamed the teacher, the school, her asthma (nm that I also have asthma), and anything else they could come up with for her bad grades and poor behavior. It's no wonder she became a stripper at 17 and is now a single mother raising 2 kids on a very meager salary (well, well below the poverty line) while burning through my aging parents' retirement money. You are doing your children no favors by not making them take responsibility for their own behavior.

Not defending the helicopter parents at all... but your post seems so dysfunctional to me I have a hard time reading it without cringeing. You don't think there is any possibility that perhaps the reason your sister had "bad grades," "behavior problems" and became a stripper was, not because your parents were permissive and blamed her teachers -- but perhaps because of their unreasonable expectations (straight A's or nothing?), and an unattainable goal set by her two older sisters? C'mon. There is a grey area here. You seriously sound like an entitled bitch. There are ways to hold kids to appropriately high standards and hold them accountable for their behavior without demanding straight A's. In fact, I think it does kids a great disservice to make them think that anything less than perfection is a failure.

Perhaps your sister because a stripper because her big sisters looked down their noses at her as somehow "less" of a human being because she was unable to get straight A's?

And this is the problem with the generation growing up today. Parents like this!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So true. My parents expected nothing less than straight A's from my sister and I. Our youngest sister (who was born in '78, so not a generational thing) had the same treatment as the "today" kid in the cartoon. My parents always blamed the teacher, the school, her asthma (nm that I also have asthma), and anything else they could come up with for her bad grades and poor behavior. It's no wonder she became a stripper at 17 and is now a single mother raising 2 kids on a very meager salary (well, well below the poverty line) while burning through my aging parents' retirement money. You are doing your children no favors by not making them take responsibility for their own behavior.

Not defending the helicopter parents at all... but your post seems so dysfunctional to me I have a hard time reading it without cringeing. You don't think there is any possibility that perhaps the reason your sister had "bad grades," "behavior problems" and became a stripper was, not because your parents were permissive and blamed her teachers -- but perhaps because of their unreasonable expectations (straight A's or nothing?), and an unattainable goal set by her two older sisters? C'mon. There is a grey area here. You seriously sound like an entitled bitch. There are ways to hold kids to appropriately high standards and hold them accountable for their behavior without demanding straight A's. In fact, I think it does kids a great disservice to make them think that anything less than perfection is a failure.

Perhaps your sister because a stripper because her big sisters looked down their noses at her as somehow "less" of a human being because she was unable to get straight A's?

So says the helicopter parent

x1000

^^^^ I mean to say PP said that her parents never held her sister accountable - not the OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So true. My parents expected nothing less than straight A's from my sister and I. Our youngest sister (who was born in '78, so not a generational thing) had the same treatment as the "today" kid in the cartoon. My parents always blamed the teacher, the school, her asthma (nm that I also have asthma), and anything else they could come up with for her bad grades and poor behavior. It's no wonder she became a stripper at 17 and is now a single mother raising 2 kids on a very meager salary (well, well below the poverty line) while burning through my aging parents' retirement money. You are doing your children no favors by not making them take responsibility for their own behavior.

Not defending the helicopter parents at all... but your post seems so dysfunctional to me I have a hard time reading it without cringeing. You don't think there is any possibility that perhaps the reason your sister had "bad grades," "behavior problems" and became a stripper was, not because your parents were permissive and blamed her teachers -- but perhaps because of their unreasonable expectations (straight A's or nothing?), and an unattainable goal set by her two older sisters? C'mon. There is a grey area here. You seriously sound like an entitled bitch. There are ways to hold kids to appropriately high standards and hold them accountable for their behavior without demanding straight A's. In fact, I think it does kids a great disservice to make them think that anything less than perfection is a failure.

Perhaps your sister because a stripper because her big sisters looked down their noses at her as somehow "less" of a human being because she was unable to get straight A's?

A NP here! Without realizing it, I think you have just validated the OP's cartoon and the PP's point.

The OP said that her parents never held her sister accountable and they always made excuses for her. That is exactly what you have done - made excuses for her.

I agree that the PP's post is dripping with resentment. But I get the sense that part of it stems from the fact that her parents did NOT hold her sister to the same standard and accountability that she and her other sister had to meet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So true. My parents expected nothing less than straight A's from my sister and I. Our youngest sister (who was born in '78, so not a generational thing) had the same treatment as the "today" kid in the cartoon. My parents always blamed the teacher, the school, her asthma (nm that I also have asthma), and anything else they could come up with for her bad grades and poor behavior. It's no wonder she became a stripper at 17 and is now a single mother raising 2 kids on a very meager salary (well, well below the poverty line) while burning through my aging parents' retirement money. You are doing your children no favors by not making them take responsibility for their own behavior.

Not defending the helicopter parents at all... but your post seems so dysfunctional to me I have a hard time reading it without cringeing. You don't think there is any possibility that perhaps the reason your sister had "bad grades," "behavior problems" and became a stripper was, not because your parents were permissive and blamed her teachers -- but perhaps because of their unreasonable expectations (straight A's or nothing?), and an unattainable goal set by her two older sisters? C'mon. There is a grey area here. You seriously sound like an entitled bitch. There are ways to hold kids to appropriately high standards and hold them accountable for their behavior without demanding straight A's. In fact, I think it does kids a great disservice to make them think that anything less than perfection is a failure.

Perhaps your sister because a stripper because her big sisters looked down their noses at her as somehow "less" of a human being because she was unable to get straight A's?

So says the helicopter parent

Anonymous wrote:So true. My parents expected nothing less than straight A's from my sister and I. Our youngest sister (who was born in '78, so not a generational thing) had the same treatment as the "today" kid in the cartoon. My parents always blamed the teacher, the school, her asthma (nm that I also have asthma), and anything else they could come up with for her bad grades and poor behavior. It's no wonder she became a stripper at 17 and is now a single mother raising 2 kids on a very meager salary (well, well below the poverty line) while burning through my aging parents' retirement money. You are doing your children no favors by not making them take responsibility for their own behavior.

Not defending the helicopter parents at all... but your post seems so dysfunctional to me I have a hard time reading it without cringeing. You don't think there is any possibility that perhaps the reason your sister had "bad grades," "behavior problems" and became a stripper was, not because your parents were permissive and blamed her teachers -- but perhaps because of their unreasonable expectations (straight A's or nothing?), and an unattainable goal set by her two older sisters? C'mon. There is a grey area here. You seriously sound like an entitled bitch. There are ways to hold kids to appropriately high standards and hold them accountable for their behavior without demanding straight A's. In fact, I think it does kids a great disservice to make them think that anything less than perfection is a failure.

Perhaps your sister because a stripper because her big sisters looked down their noses at her as somehow "less" of a human being because she was unable to get straight A's?

So true. My parents expected nothing less than straight A's from my sister and I. Our youngest sister (who was born in '78, so not a generational thing) had the same treatment as the "today" kid in the cartoon. My parents always blamed the teacher, the school, her asthma (nm that I also have asthma), and anything else they could come up with for her bad grades and poor behavior. It's no wonder she became a stripper at 17 and is now a single mother raising 2 kids on a very meager salary (well, well below the poverty line) while burning through my aging parents' retirement money. You are doing your children no favors by not making them take responsibility for their own behavior.

It is so, so true. Please dont be that parent.

Hmmm...not sure how I managed to cut and paste the Spanish version...take 2:

Like!

Why does this carton make me think of DCUM parents?