I bought my last two dresses like this at Macy's.

OP, what exactly is the event? That info might get you some very helpful replies.

Is it a dining out? Military ball? Quarterly awards banquet? Annual awards banquet? Graduation?

Is your husband wearing his mess dress or just his service dress?

All of these different events have varying levels of formal dress, anywhere from something you would wear to a dressy business event, to cocktail, all the way to floor length evening gowns.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe make an appointment with a personal shopper at a department store that is in your price range. My friend did that and said it really helped her a lot, because the shopper pulled a lot of stuff that she never would have tried on otherwise, and was also helpful with shoes/accessorizing.

+1, this can really help. There are some very elegant dresses that have elbow-length sleeves actually. But if not, go with a flattering strapless style and find an elbow-length formal topper or a pashmina. The pashmina can be kind of pain holding up, however.

I agree with PP's - Nordstrom, Lord & Taylor, and Bloomingdales as well.

Good luck and enjoy!

Maybe make an appointment with a personal shopper at a department store that is in your price range. My friend did that and said it really helped her a lot, because the shopper pulled a lot of stuff that she never would have tried on otherwise, and was also helpful with shoes/accessorizing.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again...is it appropriate to wear a topper, or wrap, the entire evening, through dinner as well? I'm not exaggerating on the arms, they must be hidden! Thanks!

yes certainly. You may well want one even without your fear of arms if the air conditioning is turned up high.

OP here again...is it appropriate to wear a topper, or wrap, the entire evening, through dinner as well? I'm not exaggerating on the arms, they must be hidden! Thanks!

Anonymous wrote:This has come up before (link below). I've found amazing dresses at Lord & Taylor. I agree with PP who said start with sleeveless and add a topper of some kind, otherwise you WILL be limited to grandma dresses (no joke!).

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/164764.page

Thank you! I had searched plus size formal and came up with a different thread with suggestions. Between the two, this will be great help! Thanks to you both!

This has come up before (link below). I've found amazing dresses at Lord & Taylor. I agree with PP who said start with sleeveless and add a topper of some kind, otherwise you WILL be limited to grandma dresses (no joke!).

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/164764.page

OP - size 16 really isn't that big and please don't limit yourseld to a dress with sleeves. I think you would be better off buying a sleeveless or short-sleeved dress and wearing a nice, light cashmere wrap. Try Nordstrom for both. They actually have a pretty good selection of plus sized clothing, and a really beautiful selection of wraps.

I'm attending a formal-wear military event in August for the first time. My husband says women wear long dresses, but other than that, he doesn't really know. I haven't bought anything formal since my wedding dress, and before that, my prom dress, so I am clueless. Also, I haven't lost my baby weight (can you still call it that if the baby is a toddler!?!?) and wear a size 16 dress. I MUST cover my flabby arms and never wear anything with sleeves shorter than elbow length. I'm 5'8, if that matters, and well proportioned. I'm 40 and don't want to look like a grandma. My husband is being honored, so I will be on the fringe of his spotlight and in lots of pictures. Please, please, help me, what do I wear?