Abstractly, the problem is that private schools have a sense of what they want to be, but what they can be is a function of who enrolls (among other things).

So do you search for a school whose approach to education approximates your own or do you search for a school that has the cohort you want for your kid(s)? Or split the difference?

I'd love to find a school for brainiac kids that isn't a pressure cooker. But that doesn't seem to exist in this area.

Anonymous wrote:Why is saying that you don't want to pay the big bucks to have a classroom of SN kid in it a bad thing? I don't want to pay to have your kid mainstreamed. It benefits the SN kid, but what about the rest of the class?

My child is no harm to the other children and I resent your saying that he is. This isn't about "mainstreaming" and I don't know any privates that do this. There are kids at every single school -- yes, including Sidwell, the Cathedral schools, etc -- with ADHD and other developmental issues. They were accepted to these schools because they belong there. Which is all to say that you are paying the big bucks to have your children go to school with SN kids, wherever they are.

Either a school is right for your child or it isn't. You can judge that issue without insulting my child.

Why is saying that you don't want to pay the big bucks to have a classroom of SN kid in it a bad thing? I don't want to pay to have your kid mainstreamed. It benefits the SN kid, but what about the rest of the class?

I have a special needs child at a mainstream school. He is a good student and not a behavior problem in the slightest. You really need to apologize.

Anonymous wrote:Find a new school - I hate to say it, but we just went through this and made the decision to leave our school along with quite a few other families. The school needed to fill spaces and became special needs central. I initially fell in love with the school's marketing, educational philosophy and nice teachers, but at the end of the day, the school was simply not competitive as reflected by the peer group in our child's grade. Behavior problems were atrocious and our child was not happy or challenged. Nothing you can do if your school needs tuition $$ to keep afloat.

"Special needs central." Lovely.

Find a new school - I hate to say it, but we just went through this and made the decision to leave our school along with quite a few other families. The school needed to fill spaces and became special needs central. I initially fell in love with the school's marketing, educational philosophy and nice teachers, but at the end of the day, the school was simply not competitive as reflected by the peer group in our child's grade. Behavior problems were atrocious and our child was not happy or challenged. Nothing you can do if your school needs tuition $$ to keep afloat.

That's true. I guess I just didn't want to face what I have to do. I fell in love with the hs and went to the elem hoping to stay, but I guess it is best to leave and go to the school that best fits my kids needs now.

Anonymous wrote:Find another school. This one is clearly not a good fit for your child. The last thing you should do is complain about the other kids the school accepts.

Exactly. The point of independent schools is that it gives you a choice to find the right school for your child. You cannot change the school.

The great thing about private school is that you choose it, and you choose another if you aren't satisfied. Don't expect the school to change. I'm sure the school is already aware of any recruiting problems it faces.

Thanks. I think you guys are right. The school is just too small for her to have any peers. We were planning to look at other schools, but we were hoping to stay because we love the hs. I guess we can leave for a while and then re-evaluate later. I wish we could afford the more expensive private schools that can pick and choose from the best applicants.

Find another school. This one is clearly not a good fit for your child. The last thing you should do is complain about the other kids the school accepts.

OP, are you at a rather small school? Whether public or private, it is sometimes hard for kids to find academic peers if there is a smaller pool of kids. If the pool of kids a bit larger, it makes it easier for the teacher to create differentiated lesson plans that are geared for the different academic levels. Are you really set on your current school? Have you explored other schools to see if there might be a better option?

I have talked to the various teachers and they say they will, but it doesn't happen consistently because they are overburdened. I have been supplementing my child for the past few years and if anything it is making it worse because he/she is getting even more ahead of everyone. I really wish I could get them to find some peers for my kid, but I don't know how to start the conversation w/o offending them.

Talk to your child's teacher about challenging your child. If you are not happy with the conversation or the results, talk to the administration about challenging your child.

Don't talk to them about the other kids, special needs or not.

We are a middle class family and sending our child to private school requires us to sacrifice which we don't mind because we believe in the merits of private school and love it for the most part. The teachers are nice and our child is very happy there. The problem is that the elementary school seems to be having problems attracting good students and as such our child has no academic peers. And lately the school has been accepting students with special needs when they really don't have the resources to do so. In our minds this is exacebating our situation since these students need more attention leaving little time for the teachers to challenge our child.

Without offending the school is there a way to inquire if they see this as a problem and will be willing to address it or should we look for a school that is more challenging for our child. Also do you think the school would be willing to test our child to advance them to the next grade.

Thanks for your help.