OP here ...Thanks a lot, PP. Again, so nice to be understood. I can't say I have a neutral feeling about bikinis (though I'm rarely at the beach or pool!). I guess if/when I see confident people (in shape, in those 'skimpier' outfits), I have a twang of jealousy, but mostly it being a hit to my own confidence. So, again, I need to focus on what I'm comfortable in ... Ideally, whatever it is I wear is still flattering (ideally), so I too am thankful there are some of those options I can try (like the tank tops)...

Anonymous wrote:... Sorry, OP again, I forgot to comment. 19:07, I know it isn't helpful to think of it that way, but I can't help it; I also consider swimwear (especially if a woman is wearing a bikini) basically underwear. Even though the material is different, etc, etc. At least for men, the "norm" is they can walk around (if they want!) with their shirt off; so, no big deal if they change from regular pants or shorts to swim trunks. I'm just not (and suspect never will be) the type of gal who wears a bikini top, so already that puts me into a separate category of being covered up. Anyway, I know I should work on all this. Again, great to hear from others who can understand. Thanks.

I totally agree with you. I don't think you need to work on it, personally. As long as you find something that allows you to feel comfortable on the beach or at the pool, that's all that matters. I have no opinion of women who wear bikinis (and if they are rocking it with a an in-shape body I say excellent for them!) but you will never find me in a bikini.

... Sorry, OP again, I forgot to comment. 19:07, I know it isn't helpful to think of it that way, but I can't help it; I also consider swimwear (especially if a woman is wearing a bikini) basically underwear. Even though the material is different, etc, etc. At least for men, the "norm" is they can walk around (if they want!) with their shirt off; so, no big deal if they change from regular pants or shorts to swim trunks. I'm just not (and suspect never will be) the type of gal who wears a bikini top, so already that puts me into a separate category of being covered up. Anyway, I know I should work on all this. Again, great to hear from others who can understand. Thanks.

OP here ... Thanks for sharing, 19:07. I appreciate learning about your experience, and you make a great point. I'm definitely so 'unpracticed' with being in swimwear (since it happens so infrequently), so each time I get to do it again it's like the first time all over, with the usual nerves, silly worries, etc.

PP, great to hear from you, too. It's always a comfort to know others can understand. Old habits definitely die hard, don't they....

OP, I grew up around the water and learned how to swim early on, but I still am uncomfortable in a bathingsuit. I'm very happy that tank tops and skirts or swim shorts are proliferating now and that there are so many styles of those available. I hate the idea of being in a regular bathing suit. For me it's just long-standing body issues, even though i think my body looks a million times better now than it did when I was younger. Old habits die hard.

You might find that taking swim lessons gets you more comfortable in swimwear. I'm not comfortable at all at the beach, but I swam competitively in high school, and after a bit, you sort of stop paying attention/thinking about the fact that everyone is hanging out in basically underwear. In part, I think, because the guys are in speedos, and frankly, seems like they would feel a lot more uncomfortable. Plus, most people are wearing the same sort of speedo-type suit, so it's not really a fashion show or an attempt to look your best, like it is at the beach or a pool party.

Also, you'll find that even in competitive swimming, there's lots of different shapes and sizes.

Anyway, I guess my point is that sometimes the way to become more comfortable with something is to just to do it, and eventually you'll get used to it.

Hi everyone, OP back ... Thanks for the continued comments coming in. 13:28, good for you that you're taking lessons -- I want to be inspired by you! It's excellent you don't have those body image issues I do, so that is of course helpful...

13:08: I see what you mean ... I have seen those one piece suits, but the 'trouble' with me is that I don't feel they are flattering. I have tried with some padding up top, but if it gets too much then I just feel it's artificial...

PP, I appreciate your support. The 'thing' for me is that I'm not in love with my lower half either (!) I have a short torso, so even if I wore some kind of bandeau/similar top, then there's my short waist, followed by my hips. So I'm pear shaped, and it just doesn't look good with revealing my shorter torso. Fashion-wise, I find that I need to wear tops that are say at least mid-hip, to give me some elongation up top. Of course swim tanks are typically not very long. IF too long, then I just look like a piece of cardboard because of my non-ample status above. Sorry, so much on this.... But thanks again, truly

OP, I am too big up there for many cute bikini tops, so sometimes I envy you! Once you break yourself in with boyshorts/ tank tops/ etc, I hope you will be rocking those cute ruffled bandeaus and triangle tops!

13:08 here: I was thinking that it might be easier to get comfortable with shorts and tank tops, and then move to swim suits. I love wearing one piece suits that have a little skirt on the bottom. I don't feel as exposed. That may something to try.

I can relate to you, OP.

My mother feared water so I didn't learn to swim at all until my teens. Still, it wasnt good swimming at all. I recently started taking lessons from a friend who's an expert and I saw improvement immediately. I've only taken one lesson so far but it feels great to be able to do things I couldn't just a few days ago. Can't tread water yet, though. Baby steps.

I also find bikinis uncomfortable to swim in. I have no body image issues and I'm not self conscious, but I don't like having to worry about anything falling out. I borrowed my husband's trunks once and found them more comfortable. I think I'll spring for a one piece.

OP writing ... I agree, thanks, I definitely think lessons are valuable. I'd have to get comfortable with being in the swimwear for the lessons, but should learn to get past that barrier. PP, I do alright with those non-swim outfits, but prefer pants to shorts. Thanks for others who may respond, too...

Do you feel comfortable in shorts, tank tops, running outfits?

It's okay to dress in what you feel comfortable in. Not everyone wants to wear a bikini. As for the swimming part, you can take lessons. That might be a good thing as a life skill for safety reasons. That and wear sunscreen.

I hate the fact that I've never been comfortable in swimwear. I'm sure it would've been different if it had been in my family's culture to go swimming frequently, but it was a rare event, and I never learned how to swim (wasn't taught, didn't think of it to learn). So now as an adult, I can do one stroke okay, but still do not know how to tread water. All that aside, I feel physically uncomfortable in swimwear; if I wear something, it is a tank-style top (because I'm small up there and don't feel comfortable in a bikini top), and swim style shorts. I know it's all stemming from lacking self-confidence (I'm about a size 8, but again, small up top, yet do have hips, so I always feel disproportionate). This is more of a mini-rant, so I'm sorry about that. Would love to read from others who maybe can relate to me...