If something is making you incredibly unhappy you have to find a way to change it

i just burst into tears reading this. I am so stressed out and I know I have to change but I feel like I can't--right now everything is on my shoulders at work and at home. I have a huge, huge workload that I couldn't possible accomplish even with no kids and no other life, but I have all tehse deadlines which i have to meet because many other people's work and projects depend on them, and my boss is out with a serious illness so I have to keep things running there too. so i have to keep it up for the next 15 months. At home i try to do fun things and be a good mom to my kids, but their ages (baby and toddler) are exhausting, i am nursing and never sleep more than 3 hrs at a stretch and usually am up after they're in bed until 11 or midnight working. DH got laid off, we are in debt and I have a dying parent. i honestly don't know how to get through this period. yoga, pedi, mani? no time, no money, no lasting situational change. i'm pumping right now and even that has crashed--i went from 12 to 8 oz a day in a week.

i have to find a way to live better. i really think otherwise I might truly lose it.

Anonymous wrote:Is golf for a family night out adventurous??

It can be if your kid really likes to swat the ball at the windmill

Is golf for a family night out adventurous??

Well i don't know exactly what op was referring to, her relationship or being a mom or whatever.
But you don't have to be resigned to the whole 2.4 kids, soccer, etc life
It is what you make it-unless of course your kid loves soccer-but you know what I mean. Maybe I have been very fortunate in the families I have known, but they made family life their own adventure. Golf for a family night out, a trip to Italy for a family vacation, finding new places to go in family hikes for exercise on a sat morning.
Obviously some of these take a lot of money, but my point is you make your life what you want It to be
You have to choose to be happy, it doesn't just happen.
If something is making you incredibly unhappy you have to find a way to change it

I feel lost too. I don't want to lose myself to a boring life and wake up in 20 years wondering where my youth went. I still want to have adventures. So I'm trying to take action and get my family to be involved. Its a start. I know a lot of people aspire to a nice, calm life with 2.4 children, soccor practice and a really nice car, but I just can't want that.

Okay. So I'm not alone but obviously no one wants to talk about it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I find myself singing those Talking Heads lines quite a bit lately. I call it my mid-life crisis. A change at work to a new position helped some on that front, though I don't know how long the novelty will last. Starting to work on getting out more and cultivating some friendships so I don't feel so lonely. Still struggling with what to do about my floundering marriage, though, and that's a big one. Good luck to you finding your new stride.

Good luck, PP! For me, I never realized how profoundly marriage and motherhood would change me, and how disconnected I would end up feeling from the person I was before. I lost the old me somewhere along the line, and feel like I can never relax. Can I really be the only one to have gone through this, or does no one else want to talk about it?

+1

+2

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I find myself singing those Talking Heads lines quite a bit lately. I call it my mid-life crisis. A change at work to a new position helped some on that front, though I don't know how long the novelty will last. Starting to work on getting out more and cultivating some friendships so I don't feel so lonely. Still struggling with what to do about my floundering marriage, though, and that's a big one. Good luck to you finding your new stride.

Good luck, PP! For me, I never realized how profoundly marriage and motherhood would change me, and how disconnected I would end up feeling from the person I was before. I lost the old me somewhere along the line, and feel like I can never relax. Can I really be the only one to have gone through this, or does no one else want to talk about it?

+1

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I find myself singing those Talking Heads lines quite a bit lately. I call it my mid-life crisis. A change at work to a new position helped some on that front, though I don't know how long the novelty will last. Starting to work on getting out more and cultivating some friendships so I don't feel so lonely. Still struggling with what to do about my floundering marriage, though, and that's a big one. Good luck to you finding your new stride.

Good luck, PP! For me, I never realized how profoundly marriage and motherhood would change me, and how disconnected I would end up feeling from the person I was before. I lost the old me somewhere along the line, and feel like I can never relax. Can I really be the only one to have gone through this, or does no one else want to talk about it?

Anonymous wrote:You need to get laid. Just saying.

Yeah, cause getting laid solves everything in life. Some of us are seeking some deeper meaning beyond sex.

Yes, I find myself singing those Talking Heads lines quite a bit lately. I call it my mid-life crisis. A change at work to a new position helped some on that front, though I don't know how long the novelty will last. Starting to work on getting out more and cultivating some friendships so I don't feel so lonely. Still struggling with what to do about my floundering marriage, though, and that's a big one. Good luck to you finding your new stride.

You need to get laid. Just saying.

Too true, PP. I need to cut out a bunch of extraneous BS. DH and I need to assess priorities which I think are different. I don't think more mani/pedis, girls' nights or yoga classes are the answer, but I hear where you're coming from. Thanks for just "listening" so to speak.

You need to take a break, something as simple as getting a pedicure and relaxing in the massage chair might help a little.
Maybe you are depressed? Maybe you just need a date night or a girls night out? maybe sign up for a yoga class mid week in the evening to give yourself a break?
Or maybe it's something more and you need to reassess your life.
Maybe you are hating work or not getting enough help at home.
You need to figure out where the holes are and work from there

Does anyone else out there ever just feel totally lost? Like a Talking Heads "how did I get here?" sort of feeling? I guess I'm just having a crappy day where I'm sleep deprived and feeling like everyone (husband, kids, boss, parents, siblings, friends) wants a piece of me, but sometimes it just feels like every day is the same and really, what am I doing with my life? I know I chose all this but what do you do when it's just not filling you up?