How is it hurtful and offensive to give information? None of the posts in that thread were rude or trying to be intentionally hurtful.

Let's not pretend that women are really given info on what abortion is and what actually happens because they are not. That's why people are so flippant about it. Because it's "just a procedure", you aren't thinking about what that procedure is actually doing.

So if someone comes along and points that out, it's not because they are trying to be hurtful (in most cases). It's because you should know. Now if you choose to still make the same choice- then okay, at least you aren't making it in ignorance.

Some women do choose to have their babies even if the outcomes are likely negative. They have a right to share that, just like you have a right to share your experiences. Also, there are some cases were the unfortunate circumstances do not lead to death of the child; but just a different lifestyle. That point of view needs to be heard as well. It is not inappropriate to discuss POVS that have likely not been considered.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All threads on DCUM (and most communities like this) take all sorts of tangents. I recently wrote one called "help me understand something about selling" in the real estate section and I got advice that I should just listen to the market, advice that was specifically what I was looking for, advice that was totally off. You just pick thru and take what's helpful and ignore the rest. Why should this one topic require such stricter monitoring than any other topic within this community?

Because its a delicate, painful topic and it needs to be treated as such. It takes a lot for a woman in this situation, facing the hardest moment of her life, to be able to ask for help. Th LAST thing she needs is a beat down for a choice that she didn't want to have to be faced with in the first place. You can't possibly compare the advice given to a grieving mother who just found out she will never see her baby learning how to walk or talk to your real state issue.

Lots of things on here are delicate, paintful topics (divorce, family, children with SN). All of the forums (fora?) are lively and go in different directions. I don't see why this one particular issue is the most heightened issue for all women, ever, and should be policedly most strictly, in a separate and independent fashion from everything else.

Then just go talk about something else. You obviously have no empathy or compassion to add anything productive here.

I can talk on any topic here. You are not the DCUM police, and any given topic is not the Most Precious Topic Ever (MPTE) deserving of your elbowing everyone else's opinions out of the way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All threads on DCUM (and most communities like this) take all sorts of tangents. I recently wrote one called "help me understand something about selling" in the real estate section and I got advice that I should just listen to the market, advice that was specifically what I was looking for, advice that was totally off. You just pick thru and take what's helpful and ignore the rest. Why should this one topic require such stricter monitoring than any other topic within this community?

Because its a delicate, painful topic and it needs to be treated as such. It takes a lot for a woman in this situation, facing the hardest moment of her life, to be able to ask for help. Th LAST thing she needs is a beat down for a choice that she didn't want to have to be faced with in the first place. You can't possibly compare the advice given to a grieving mother who just found out she will never see her baby learning how to walk or talk to your real state issue.

Lots of things on here are delicate, paintful topics (divorce, family, children with SN). All of the forums (fora?) are lively and go in different directions. I don't see why this one particular issue is the most heightened issue for all women, ever, and should be policedly most strictly, in a separate and independent fashion from everything else.

Then just go talk about something else. You obviously have no empathy or compassion to add anything productive here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All threads on DCUM (and most communities like this) take all sorts of tangents. I recently wrote one called "help me understand something about selling" in the real estate section and I got advice that I should just listen to the market, advice that was specifically what I was looking for, advice that was totally off. You just pick thru and take what's helpful and ignore the rest. Why should this one topic require such stricter monitoring than any other topic within this community?

Because its a delicate, painful topic and it needs to be treated as such. It takes a lot for a woman in this situation, facing the hardest moment of her life, to be able to ask for help. Th LAST thing she needs is a beat down for a choice that she didn't want to have to be faced with in the first place. You can't possibly compare the advice given to a grieving mother who just found out she will never see her baby learning how to walk or talk to your real state issue.

Lots of things on here are delicate, paintful topics (divorce, family, children with SN). All of the forums (fora?) are lively and go in different directions. I don't see why this one particular issue is the most heightened issue for all women, ever, and should be policedly most strictly, in a separate and independent fashion from everything else.

Anonymous wrote:All threads on DCUM (and most communities like this) take all sorts of tangents. I recently wrote one called "help me understand something about selling" in the real estate section and I got advice that I should just listen to the market, advice that was specifically what I was looking for, advice that was totally off. You just pick thru and take what's helpful and ignore the rest. Why should this one topic require such stricter monitoring than any other topic within this community?

Because its a delicate, painful topic and it needs to be treated as such. It takes a lot for a woman in this situation, facing the hardest moment of her life, to be able to ask for help. Th LAST thing she needs is a beat down for a choice that she didn't want to have to be faced with in the first place. You can't possibly compare the advice given to a grieving mother who just found out she will never see her baby learning how to walk or talk to your real state issue.

Anonymous wrote:You are treating this issue with kid gloves, not allowing other points of view. This would be unlike any other section of the site.

I believe that questions asking for specific information should be answered with specific information, not off-topic propagandizing offensive/hurtful to the poster.

You don't mean "pro-life." You mean "anti-abortion."

Please don't use the marketing language. Stick to the issue.

Anonymous wrote:All threads on DCUM (and most communities like this) take all sorts of tangents. I recently wrote one called "help me understand something about selling" in the real estate section and I got advice that I should just listen to the market, advice that was specifically what I was looking for, advice that was totally off. You just pick thru and take what's helpful and ignore the rest. Why should this one topic require such stricter monitoring than any other topic within this community?

OP here. This is a good question. First, I do think in general that DCUM would benefit from increased moderation & deletion of totally off-topic stuff. There are internet communities that establish that norm successfully, and they become much better forums.

Second, I think the termination for medical reasons is a special case where it's worth additional efforts to keep on topic/delete abusive content.

You are treating this issue with kid gloves, not allowing other points of view. This would be unlike any other section of the site.

Anonymous wrote:Are you even an expecting mom, or did you just open those threads to spread your agenda?

I am an expecting mom. I seriously doubt many of the pro-life posters on those threads are, though.

My main agenda is to allow women who are going to terminate to have a safe space here to discuss it and get information and help, rather than being guilted/berated.

Pro-life people are free to post anywhere else.

I also agree with OP

All threads on DCUM (and most communities like this) take all sorts of tangents. I recently wrote one called "help me understand something about selling" in the real estate section and I got advice that I should just listen to the market, advice that was specifically what I was looking for, advice that was totally off. You just pick thru and take what's helpful and ignore the rest. Why should this one topic require such stricter monitoring than any other topic within this community?

Anonymous wrote:Are you even an expecting mom, or did you just open those threads to spread your agenda?

HA. Irony.

I agree with OP.

Are you even an expecting mom, or did you just open those threads to spread your agenda?

As I'm sure others have noticed, there's a contingent of pro-lifers that pops into any thread about fetal anomaly to try to convince the mother not to terminate -- even when she's made clear that's her plan. Then the thread devolves into a pro-life/pro-choice debate, which is really inappropriate, IMO.

I propose that instead of responding to the pro-life pontificators, we ignore them and report the posts to Jeff. Hopefully, he'll delete them to keep the discussion on track.

In a case where the OP is not sure what to do, then it's ok to have opinions from all over the spectrum. But where the OP has indicated she's going to terminate, there's no place for pro-life screeds.