Hire the drill instructor from Full Metal Jacket to knock on your door and get your DH in fighting shape. Problem is, he is then going to want a buzz cut.

I think the wife needs a good ole fashioned hangar beating. WTF? He works, and, it sounds like they split the nighttime baby duty. Yet I also bet she takes naps with her kid. and, works out most days. The nerve of him getting all fat!

My wife isn't overweight really but she's gotten flabby since our son was born. I understand the exhaustion of having a child and how hard it is to eat right and stay in shape, but I am simply not attracted to the way she looks anymore. I, on the other hand, bounced right back after the baby; I got back into really great shape. I work out like crazy (at nights when, yes, sometimes I'd rather be sleeping or relaxing). I eat very healthy. I mean, I am super toned and look better than pre-baby. I have tried everything to give her subtle hints. I only buy healthy foods, but she simply eats too much. I try to serve her correct portion sizes, but she'll just go back for seconds. I tell her how great I feel when I work out, how much more energy I have, etc. and have suggested that we trade off nights of working out, or I offered if she prefers morning work outs, I could wake her up earlier. She hasn't taken any hints at all. I feel like it is just plain laziness. She will sit around for 2 hours and play on the computer or read a book at night, but she won't make an effort to go out even for a 2 mile run. It doesn't make sense to me. Should I be more direct? I don't want to be mean, but how do I address this? I would never cheat on her, but I have to admit, I find myself fantasizing about other women who look better.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, he does have a stressful job and long-ish hours...and he does take work home, which I understand because I remember having jobs like his.

Wait, do you work out of the home?

Just be direct with him...as nice as you can.

Anonymous wrote:How stressful is is job? How many hours a day? I understand you are a busy, tired, mom, but people also underestimate the invisible toll a job can have on a person. Also, if he normally exercises fine in spring and fall, cut him some slack with the weather out now. It's hard for me to get outside to do anything right now in the hot, humid summer. Not giving him a pass though.

Yeah, he does have a stressful job and long-ish hours...and he does take work home, which I understand because I remember having jobs like his. So, that point is well-taken. But it's not like he needs to lose a lot of weight. I think he'd look great losing 10 pounds and just toning up a bit...even working out 2 days a week would be a start. I think I may try the bribing with BJ's thing like the PP suggested

How stressful is is job? How many hours a day? I understand you are a busy, tired, mom, but people also underestimate the invisible toll a job can have on a person. Also, if he normally exercises fine in spring and fall, cut him some slack with the weather out now. It's hard for me to get outside to do anything right now in the hot, humid summer. Not giving him a pass though.

Anonymous wrote:You are an asshole. I bet you don't look as good you think you do.

Really? I am an asshole for this? I don't understand that. And why would you assume that I don't look as good as I think I do? Actually, my husband compliments how great I look all the time. I am confused by your response.

Aside from the health perspective, there's not much you can do aside from:
- have him join you for workouts (biking with kid, hiking with kid, or leaving kid with sitter/gym childcare while you both work out)
- get him off his butt - for example just a stroll after dinner, or walking to/from a store or cafe
- sex is good exercise for him (and I'm a DW)
- telling him how hot he is
- hire him a personal trainer

Worse comes to worse, bribe him with BJs (I have tried this). It works, but not forever. He is going to be how he is and there's not much you can do about it. Especially if he is closer to looking like his dad. Take pride in being his trophy wife.

You are an asshole. I bet you don't look as good you think you do.

My husband isn't overweight really but he's gotten flabby since our son was born. I understand the exhaustion of having a child and how hard it is to eat right and stay in shape, but I am simply not attracted to the way he looks anymore. I, on the other hand, bounced right back after the baby; I lost all baby weight almost immediately and got back into really great shape. I work out like crazy (at nights when, yes, sometimes I'd rather be sleeping or relaxing). I eat very healthy. I mean, I am super toned and look better than pre-baby. I have tried everything to give him subtle hints. I only buy healthy foods, but he simply eats too much. I try to serve him correct portion sizes, but he'll just go back for seconds. I tell him how great I feel when I work out, how much more energy I have, etc. and have suggested that we trade off nights of working out, or I offered if he prefers morning work outs, I could wake him up earlier. He hasn't taken any hints at all. I feel like it is just plain laziness. He will sit around for 2 hours and play on the computer or read a book at night, but he won't make an effort to go out even for a 2 mile run. It doesn't make sense to me. Should I be more direct? I don't want to be mean, but how do I address this? I would never cheat on him, but I have to admit, I find myself fantasizing about other men who look better.