I hear you, OP. I have multiple chronic pain conditions and a toddler. It isn't ever easy. For me, it is comforting to know that I'm not alone and that there are other parents who have made (and are making) it through this too. I also think it is important to accept (and sometimes ask for) help. It is also ok to not do it all. I used to feel bad when people at work on Monday would ask what I did on the weekend when the answer was sleep and try to recover from the work-week.

You may want to check out the book "Cereal for Dinner" about how to cope with illness and be a good mom. I think a good part of it is easing up on yourself. It is ok not to do it all. Sometimes you need to rest or stay home from a "fun" activity because that is what is best for your body and therefore what will make you a better parent. http://www.amazon.com/Cereal-Dinner-Strategies-Shortcuts-Battling/dp/0312317735. As my preacher said one day, there is a reason the flight attendants tell you to put on your oxygen mask before helping others. You can't help others if you don't take care of yourself too.

It has also been empowering for me to talk about my illnesses. I don't drone on about it constantly but I am not ashamed of it either. It is part of me - and people will either accept me or not.

I know some people have also found the red, yellow, and green light system helpful for letting their kids know how they are feeling that day. Something similar to this: http://foxxfire.hubpages.com/hub/Its-a-Yellow-Light-Day

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:I can't even believe your vagina can fall out of your BODY.

Yeah, we don't know too much about our own bodies, right?



Just google VAGINAL PROLAPSE and take a look at the pictures... it's scary!

I can't even believe your vagina can fall out of your BODY.

As I finished buckling my LO in her carseat I overheard the person in the next parking space yelling at her husband "I BET SHE'S USING HER GRANDMA'S TAG" just because I was parked at the handicapped spot and I guess I looked too normal to her. *sigh*

Today was one of those days

OMG this is wonderful source! Thanks a lot!

I can't wait to get to the appointment to discuss our options... *sigh*

I've been on medication before and while it did improve some of the symptoms it didn't make it all better so I'm not sure it would be worth to quit BF.

The psoriasis went into remission during pregnancy and came back just slightly during BF with #1. When I weaned it came back full force so I believe BF is keeping the flare ups mild.

The some of my feet would be burning and raw because of the blisters and now I have only 3 spots hurting.... I'll give it some more time and see how I feel... It's not easy.

The book is Thomas Hale, Medications and Mothers Milk. Some info may also be available on his website: http://www.infantrisk.com/

Regarding medicines, don't just rule them out without really researching them--many docs hear that you're nursing and say you shouldn't take drugs without actually looking them up. I think the most respected source is Hale's guide, but I don't know the exact name--can someone else chime in with a link?

For example, I know a lot of people say you can't take steroids, which is probably true of pills, but local injections (which are common for arthritis and other autoimmune conditions) are fine.

I would also say that you might consider formula feeding if it's going to make a difference of whether or not you can begin medication. It's something to discuss with your OB. But in light of what you write, I think medication could make a big difference to your ability to parent and I'm not sure breastfeeding is worth that delay.

I love the email idea, it's totally something I'd write on my own

And thanks for the foundation suggestion I didn't know such thing existed!

Have you plugged into the National Psoriasis Foundation? I have the good ole regular flaky spots all over kind (so it is very noticeable!), and when it has been at its worst, I have hung out in their forums. It helps a lot to communicate with people who "get it."

Chronic autoimmune disorders suck! But it can get better once you figure out a lifestyle and treatment regimen that work for you. Hang in there, OP.

I'm the vagina poster. You could start opening up to people by sending out an email to like the half dozen (or two, whatever) people you're closest with that says something like:

"You may have noticed I haven't been around and have been cancelling a lot last minute lately. It's not because I found a newer, cooler group to hang out with, it's because I'm sick. I've been embarrassed to tell you because, like fibromyalga and other auto immune illnesses, this one has symptoms that are hard for people to see, and I am worried about people's reactions. But the truth is anemia and arthritis have seriously been kicking my ass lately. And that doesn't even account for the whole "having a newborn" thing. I don't tell you this so you'll send flowers, candy or strippers although feel free, but so you'll know what's going on with me, and hopefully will be able to find the patience to put up with these abrupt cancellations and my overall sticking close to home. I've only recently been diagnosed, and until weaning is complete many medications to treat my symptoms are on hold. I love and miss you guys."

Figure out something much shorter for when running into people at the grocery store, but that should give you a jumping off point.

You guys are just awesome! On the vagina thing, I remember my very first interaction with MIL. When we met for the first time I was already pregnant and the first thing she said was MY VAGINA AND UTERUS FALL OUT OF MY BODY WHEN I EXERT MYSELF, PLEASE DON'T HAVE MORE THAN 2 CHILDREN!

LOL

I guess you're right, I should start opening up to people... I just have to figure out how... =/

The reality is, some people will come out of the woodwork and blow you away with their understanding and some people will be all "If I can't see it, it's not happening" and will think you need to just suck it up.

But you'll never know which people fall into which camp until you get honest.

Since we're all anon here. .... my mom's vagina fucking FELL OUT of her body. It's called vaginal prolapse. Any parts can prolapse - uterus, vagina, prostate (okay I don't know about that one).

Anyway,, she was HORRIBLY embarrassed, and INSISTED that we not tell anyone (just my dad and me and my sibling knew). Finally after a LOT of fights, my dad told some people, like his sisters, his mom, some of the cousins my mom was closest with. All of a sudden relatives were like, suggesting the brand of pessory (this plasticy device you shove up your body to keep your vagina from falling back out again) they use, giving us doctors excellent at dealing with this, sharing their experiences with my mom. I know WAY more about my extended family's vaginas than I ever wanted to or thought I would.

So share with people. Figure out like a paragraph's worth of spiel you'll say to people, explaining what you're going through, how it feels, etc. Be prepared for people to ask what they can do to help, and have things in mind. Don't be shy. I do not come across as mushy, but when I offer to help someone, I really, truly mean it. I really WILL come over and clean your kitchen while wearing your baby in a sling so you can take a shower and nap.

I think it helps to be honest. If people don't know what's going on, they get confused. Sharing information--just enough--is polite. Don't worry about sharing information about your situation. Most people are kind and want to at least commiserate, even if they can't directly help. Parenting is exhausting even for the strong-as-ox people.

Hugs and good luck to you!

I've been battling anemia since I was a child and it is still a mystery the origin of it.
At age 16 I was diagnosed with PCOS.
During #1's pregnancy I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism.
During #2's pregnancy I was diagnosed with thalassemia.
Just 3 years ago we finally put a name on the several symptoms I have and could not explain... I have Pustular Psoriasis and Psoriatic Arthritis.

I don't know what I'm looking for exactly, maybe some commiseration? DH is as strong as a horse and he is a great guy but he has a hard time relating to me in this aspect. When I have a flare up I feel so bad and he can't understand, maybe because there's not much to see, but the pain and exhaustion are just unbearable.

Also I think I feel embarrassed to address the issue with friends and family. I don't want to sound like a hypochondriac, you know? But I'm tired of making excuses for not showing up at playdates, canceling night out with friends, family dinners, pretending everything is great when I talk to my parents...

I have an appointment this week to talk to my OB and see what are my options (I just had #2 almost 2 months ago). I'm still breastfeeding so I think medication is not an option just yet.

How do you cope with medical conditions and parenthood? Any tips?