I am the iPhone PP.

As the cheated-on wife, I am sorry to say that other signs did in fact include changes in the passenger seat of his car. A large and abrupt uptick in concern for his appearance. Being gone from the house at night with flimsy explanations ("a big game is on at the sports bar") ("yes, four nights in a row").

And one I didn't put together until well after the fact: the prick started manscaping his crotch for the first time in ~30 years. I didn't actually see his pretty new pubes but realized that was why he went to Rodman's and bought hair clippers that -- wait for it -- he never actually used on his head. Yet I'd hear the whirring clipper noise in the bathroom once in a while.

Omg I need a drink all over again.

Anonymous wrote:Changes in the position of the passenger seat of the car.

Secrecy when writing on the computer. General disinterest in discussing your relationship. Missing condoms (no joke, that's how I found out...counted them during the afternoon, and then later in the day).

Why were you using condoms with your spouse?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Changes in the position of the passenger seat of the car.

Secrecy when writing on the computer. General disinterest in discussing your relationship. Missing condoms (no joke, that's how I found out...counted them during the afternoon, and then later in the day).

The first one is rather stupid. There are plenty of other people who have reason to be in my car other than someone with whom I may or may not be having an affair.
THe second one makes your D(H/W) rather stupid. Or careless.

Hey, what makes you think we need someone to correct our list? How do I know OP's husband isn't as "careless or stupid" as my XDH?

Bingo. Men are often careless. My husband took condom from our home to his lover's home too. He screwed his patient for about 7 months. I never counted he condoms. Big mistake. He later broke up with that woman and confessed it to me. That's how I learned about the missing condoms.

Losing weight, hitting the gym after work, new clothes, hair, cologne/perfume are classic. Increased business travel...etc etc etc

Affairs are funny things. At the start of the affair he may be so elated he may be nicer to you. Be more interested in sex. But a bit into it he will become frustrated easily, inpatient, with everyone including the kids. Less interested in sex. He may pick fights as an excuse to leave the house.

The phone thing is a big one (that the PP was talking about).

Signs for an emotional affair and physical affair are similar. The problem with an emotional affair is that he may be lying to himself (though he knows it of course) and justifying that they are just friends.

is it horrible that I go through my spouse's email and cellphone texts?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Changes in the position of the passenger seat of the car.

Secrecy when writing on the computer. General disinterest in discussing your relationship. Missing condoms (no joke, that's how I found out...counted them during the afternoon, and then later in the day).

The first one is rather stupid. There are plenty of other people who have reason to be in my car other than someone with whom I may or may not be having an affair.
THe second one makes your D(H/W) rather stupid. Or careless.

Hey, what makes you think we need someone to correct our list? How do I know OP's husband isn't as "careless or stupid" as my XDH?

Anonymous wrote:Changes in the position of the passenger seat of the car.

Secrecy when writing on the computer. General disinterest in discussing your relationship. Missing condoms (no joke, that's how I found out...counted them during the afternoon, and then later in the day).

The first one is rather stupid. There are plenty of other people who have reason to be in my car other than someone with whom I may or may not be having an affair.
THe second one makes your D(H/W) rather stupid. Or careless.

Changes in the position of the passenger seat of the car.

Secrecy when writing on the computer. General disinterest in discussing your relationship. Missing condoms (no joke, that's how I found out...counted them during the afternoon, and then later in the day).

Anonymous wrote:If you are worried, the best thing you can do is just ask and gauge his reaction. I would never cheat on my DW, but if I were to, it would be very hard to look her dead in the eye and lie about it; it would be much easier to just cover it up.

Ha! Never ask. It just makes the cheater more careful about covering his or her tracks.

If you are worried, the best thing you can do is just ask and gauge his reaction. I would never cheat on my DW, but if I were to, it would be very hard to look her dead in the eye and lie about it; it would be much easier to just cover it up.

Anonymous wrote:suddenly hiding the iPhone / always having it with him even in the bathroom-shower / using a password lock for the first time

H used to charge the phone on the kitchen counter for all to see. One day, he started hiding it under stuff while charging it, or charging it next to the bed at night on his side. Otherwise, it was in his pocket at all times (new). It went to the shower with him. It went to bed with him when he went before I did. etc etc.

All of that was brand new and abrupt. Sure enough, he was attempting to hide an affair. He slipped up a few times and left it out when he thought I wasn't around, so of course the first thing I did was check all his calls/texts/emails.

Are you still married?

With me, coming home an hour or two later was the red flag - DH was experimenting with other men. Needless to say, he is now ex-DH.

suddenly hiding the iPhone / always having it with him even in the bathroom-shower / using a password lock for the first time

H used to charge the phone on the kitchen counter for all to see. One day, he started hiding it under stuff while charging it, or charging it next to the bed at night on his side. Otherwise, it was in his pocket at all times (new). It went to the shower with him. It went to bed with him when he went before I did. etc etc.

All of that was brand new and abrupt. Sure enough, he was attempting to hide an affair. He slipped up a few times and left it out when he thought I wasn't around, so of course the first thing I did was check all his calls/texts/emails.

What are some telltale signs? Staying at work later than anticipated? Always having some kind of excuse to come home an hour or two later than planned? A lack of interest in sex?