OP again; fwiw, I have a copy of Ferber, and have read it, using it successfully with #1.

Perhaps I'm just clueless about regression (which, unfortunately, Ferber doesn't seem to address really?)

As 11:30 suggested, I might just try waiting it out for another couple of weeks to see if things work themselves out. My DD is teething, so that's not helping, and about to crawl.

We tried to go in and "ferberize" in the middle of the night (5 mn, then 10mn, and then cold-turkey) but it only seemed to piss her off more.

That's not how you do it. You really need to do CIO correctly for it to work, or else you're just putting your child (and yourselves) through unnecessary stress. If you don't have the book, here is a site that gives a very good summary, with the appropriate time chart:

http://noobmommy.com/2008/11/to-ferberize-or-not-to-ferberize.html

Short answer: you deal with middle of the night wake-ups the same way you deal with the initial bedtime.

You need to read a book, either Ferber or Weissbluth or another. Just doing "CIO" without understanding what you're really doing probably won't do much good.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks so much for the replies!

I now see I messed up by giving in after 1.5 hours of crying -- that sucks!

That said, yes, I do think she is used to being fed. So should I first gradually diminish the nursing, then move to just soothing? And finally not go in at all?

I'm tempted to try and just soothe, but don't babies freak out when you don't offer the boob?

RE feeding -- I think it is chapter 6 in the Ferber book that deals with it. Essentially, he says if your baby is used to eating in the middle of the night, it is hard to just cut off the feedings; she will be hungry. As a result, he recommends gradually decreasing the amount you feed at night, and they naturally will begin to eat more during the day.

If you haven't read the actual book, I recommend it. I found chapters 2, 4, and 6 good reading. I liked the book because each chapter deals with a different topic, so you can pick and choose to see what is most appropriate for you. 2 is how babies sleep; 4 is about associations (the main problem they face when trying to put themselves to eat); and 6 is on feeding at night. There are tons of copies of the book available at DC Public Libraries if you want to pick it up.

Good luck!

we are dealing with this right now with my 6mo and currently doing the Ferber method. We are following the method to stretch out feedings (i.e. DS is not "allowed" to nurse if it has been less than x number of hours and that number increases each night). The book doesnt say what you are supposed to do if your child wakes up hungry an hour before that time (I guess just try to sooth without feeding). What I do is if it has been over the number of hours before feeding, I give him 5 minutes to settle himself. If he is still crying and I think he is hungry, I feed him and then put him down awake, and then do the progressive waiting. That way I know he is not hungry. A few times I have missed getting him off the boob in time and he has fallen asleep and it took us a while to get the overnight thing down.. but last night he went to sleep without crying at all, and only woke up once to nurse and then got himself back to sleep without crying. It was awesome! Good Luck!

Have you actually read Ferber's book and followed his method? It's pretty precise. I'd try it for maybe 4 nights before deciding it doesn't work. Usually it does.

But you have to really be committed and stick to it.

Another option if you want to be more gradual is to only offer water rather than nursing.

OP here. Thanks so much for the replies!

I now see I messed up by giving in after 1.5 hours of crying -- that sucks!

That said, yes, I do think she is used to being fed. So should I first gradually diminish the nursing, then move to just soothing? And finally not go in at all?

I'm tempted to try and just soothe, but don't babies freak out when you don't offer the boob?

I think before you do Ferber, it's good to get a week or two in when you go to your baby right away every time. That way, they are trained with you answering quickly. Then when you stop answering, sleeping should happen quicker.

All bets are off during the 9-month sleep regression. Seriously, I would do whatever you need to (rocking, nursing, whatever) because once it's over your DC WILL go back to being a good sleeper again. But until it's over, you will all be miserable if you try to be hard-line CIO. It's usually only a few weeks. I coslept during it because at least then I was getting plenty of sleep. Good luck!

To get any CIO to work you have to commit - Giving in just gives her more reason to cry harder and longer. You're in for a few rough nights. PP's right, you need your DH to go in and sooth her so she's not tempted to eat. At that age she really doesn't need to eat in the middle of the night.

We Ferberized at 7 months. There have been some regressions, and when that happens, we go back and re-Ferberize. It was very, very hard to deal with middle of the night wakings, and at first my DD cried 2 hours. We followed the numbers in the Ferber book -- went in at 3 mins, 5 mins, and 10 mins until she eventually fell back asleep. Is your baby hungry? If so, I would recommend te chapter in t he Ferber book about getting them to stop eating in the middle of the night first and THEN go to the intervals. Basically, you have to deal with the hunger first or there really is a reason for them to be crying.

The thing that helped me through the crying was remember what Ferber says -- if you give in and go while they are crying, then you have actually made the problem worse; they now are more likely to cry to get what they want. It would have been better to go in right away and nurse.

FWIW, it took 2 nights to successfully Ferberize the first time, and now when she regresses, it almost never takes more than one night (knock wood).

Try at least to take nurisng off the table..have DH go in. Also, be sure you are comitted to CIO. If you go in after a long time you are only teacher your child to cry for a long time. Good luck. It is hard but worth it in the end.

I posted about 9-month sleep regression earlier this morning and am having similar problems so all I can say is I sympathize. We can't even get ours to sleep without holding him anymore but he's also waking up in the middle of the night. He's been sick so we've been bringing him to bed with us since we don't want to CIO while he's not well. But as soon as he's better we need to get him out of the bed! Hoping someone else has advice...

I've had it with this sleep regression.... and have been trying to get my 9.5 month old to stop waking 2+ times a night (between 10pm and 5am).

We gave CIO a good try on Saturday night, but gave up and nursed after 1.5 hours of fussing/crying.

Our DD goes to sleep super easily at 7:30pm, but, can't seem to self-soothe back to sleep during the wake-ups.

We tried to go in and "ferberize" in the middle of the night (5 mn, then 10mn, and then cold-turkey) but it only seemed to piss her off more.

Suggestions?