Anonymous wrote:That's a tough call because it will be harder on your oldest two to have to make the switch than on your youngest to start in public. We have this conversation all the time because it's going to be tight when our 2nd gets to K. Our older child definitely needs the smaller classes but our youngest is the type who will do well anywhere.

If I were in your shoes and thought there was a realistic possibility that you could afford to send your DD to her siblings' school in the next 3 or so years, I'd leave the older two where they are and start her in K. If you truly doubt you'll ever be able to afford to send all 3, I'd considering moving them all to public, but would possibly wait until a transition year.

My older brother and I went to the same school, but my parents did have the attitude that my brother needed extra attention and support, but that I didnt need it and would be "just fine.". I am better than fine, but I do still have some (mild) resentment toward my parents, and I still have a hard time accepting help from others, as I was taught that I shouldn't need it (or deserve it). I also don't think they did my brother any favors. I know I'm not imagining this, as my mother apologized to me for this when I was an adult. It just worries me when I hear parents say "child number one is a special snowflake, but child number two will do well anywhere.". I think all they're really saying is child number one is a first child and child number 2 is a second child. Funny how you almost never hear parents say, "child number one is doing great in public school, but child number 2 needs to go to private.". That may exist where number two truly has special needs, but almost never just based on personality. Please just be very honest with yourself regarding whether or not your different view of your children's needs truly based on their personality, or just based on how they've always been treated.

Anonymous wrote:My older sister went to an elite private school. My parents "offered" for me to go as well, but I knew there was not enough money (based on the conversations at home).

I can't say I was/am jealous of my sister. But, I have regretted that I was not afforded the same opportunity.

Very important to think about.

OP, I was in your exact situation when #2 was born. At the time, #1 was in an expensive private (tuition was 20K and that was 15 years ago...)

We realized after K that we could swing it for 1 child but not for 2. We made the decision to move #1 to a less expensive school where we could afford tuition for 2.

It worked out well, our salaries have gone up over the years and even though we got to a point where we could afford expensive school for both, we elected to stay put and save the money for HS and college. DS is now at St. Albans. DD is still at the same lower school and will stay there through 8th.

As DH said years ago... "we can't look at her and say 'Well, I guess it just sucks to be born second...'

I would make the move sooner rather than later. Likely easier on the children.

I don't know..I would move and put everyone together..at some point the youngest is going to figure out that theynweren't given the same opportunities. Have you talked to the school about financial aid..schools usually try to work with families to keep them in.

Thank you for all the posts, minus the second snarky one. 18:10, this has been our thought as I think we can make the switch by 4th or 6th. Our older two are thriving. Your feelings/ insight most appreciated.

Have you thought about renting your home and either buying or renting in virginia our maryland. Unlike dc They have excellent public schools.

My older sister went to an elite private school. My parents "offered" for me to go as well, but I knew there was not enough money (based on the conversations at home).

I can't say I was/am jealous of my sister. But, I have regretted that I was not afforded the same opportunity.

That's a tough call because it will be harder on your oldest two to have to make the switch than on your youngest to start in public. We have this conversation all the time because it's going to be tight when our 2nd gets to K. Our older child definitely needs the smaller classes but our youngest is the type who will do well anywhere.

If I were in your shoes and thought there was a realistic possibility that you could afford to send your DD to her siblings' school in the next 3 or so years, I'd leave the older two where they are and start her in K. If you truly doubt you'll ever be able to afford to send all 3, I'd considering moving them all to public, but would possibly wait until a transition year.

I would make private an age-based thing. You go to private for these particular years. Not for these particular children. That's my feeling anyway.

Anonymous wrote:Depends on your public school choices. Is the local good? Can 1-3 kids go magnet or AAP or immersion or charter?

And it depends on your kids. Some kids actually do better in public school - generally the kids who do well with less structure and like the competition and aren't intimidated by the size and sheer number of class choices and clubs et cetera. Or maybe there's a charter (we don't even know where you live) that totally meets one kid's needs, like Washington Latin for a kid who loves languages or history.

We can't answer these questions for you.

We cannot answer the question. But I think this post gives some good parameters for reflection. Thanks for posting this very interesting question, OP.

That's really nice pp.

I would say you probably know what is best for your kids OP. You don't want to rely on an anonymous board for that information.

Dumb fucking question and waste of bandwith. If you cant afford it you cant afford it.

Depends on your public school choices. Is the local good? Can 1-3 kids go magnet or AAP or immersion or charter?

And it depends on your kids. Some kids actually do better in public school - generally the kids who do well with less structure and like the competition and aren't intimidated by the size and sheer number of class choices and clubs et cetera. Or maybe there's a charter (we don't even know where you live) that totally meets one kid's needs, like Washington Latin for a kid who loves languages or history.

We can't answer these questions for you.

We currently have two kids in private. We had every intention of sending all three of our children but with the current economy unfortunately there is no way we can start DD in private K like the others. What would you do? Move the older ones to public or keep them where they are and, hopefully, switch DD down the road when money is not so tight?