i was the op of the original mother's day thread - my dh told me the night before that he had no card or present or anything picked out and no plans to do so. and that he'd been just too busy to think about it. i was pretty disappointed. i really had it out with him the next morning and went off to pick up flowers for myself... and he stopped me and went and got me a card and bunch of tulips. i was very appreciative. we have small kids and i would like a little acknowledgement on this hallmark holiday.

for father's day, i got him a card and 2 shirts and we went to brunch with my father. i think he liked his day.

i remember a lot of posters in that thread who veered from "why did you marry an ass?" to "why do you expect anything? its just a hallmark holiday and not real and why should you feel bad?"

i don't know how to explain it to those posters or to my DH, but i think he finally got the point that its NOT about some major expensive piece of jewelry or a handbag or some glorious present, but its just about going along with the fun of the day and showing a little extra appreciation for the parent of your children, as the above divorced PP did really nicely.

Me ex husband was too busy doing a father's day golf/drinking binge to spend time with the kids yesterday. He finally came over at 7 PM to take them to dinner. Didn't come to the door (I should have been suspicious) When he came up on the porch to return them to me I could smell him, he smelled like a brewery.

I had purchased a DVD and card for him that my daughter picked out, and wrapped his present.

"Remember that DD needs to love him, even if he's an ass". Repeat over and over and over again.

I got a card, he got a card and a framed picture. He made me a nice dinner, I made him a nice dinner. He got a nap, and we didn't do anything mother's day, but the kid was sick. We didn't post, but I consider this even.

A few years ago, my DH did nothing for me for mother's day - no card - nothing. I didn't say much, but when father's day came along, I didn't get him anything. It was hard, but I was trying to make a point to him - that why do I always make an effort for father's day but he doesn't do the same for mother's day. our three children are small yet so we have to help buy a card, etc. he got the point and this year, we celebrated both holidays. (nothing huge, just cards and small/silly gifts.) i was glad I followed through a few years ago.

DH and I didn't get anything for each other. We both got gifts from the kids.

Anonymous wrote:I got nothing for mother's day. Posted about it, wondering what to do because he was hinting around that he expected something for father's day. I wasn't trying to get revenge, it was more what message this was sending, that it's OK to treat me like I don't matter but it's OK for you to be celebrated.

I was the bigger person as you phrased it. My daughter and I decorated a card for him, I got him a gift, we went out to his choice of a restaurant, and amped up my daughter to yell "Happy Father's Day, I love you!" the minute he came down this morning. We went for a bike ride (his choice), went out to lunch (his choice) and I really made the day about him.

I was fine with this, truly. But at the end of the day I asked him if he had a nice day. He said yes. I said, "and that's pretty much how we should do mother's day too in the future, OK?" He agreed and it turned out not to be a big deal.

I like how you phrased this, but would love to know next year if it worked. This works with my DH but it has to be something relatively soon. Good luck.

DH didn't get me anything.

I forgot it was fathers day - honestly.

I guess we're tied.

I got a card. He got a special framed picture, a card, and us doing a special activity with him (that he choose). I will discuss it with him in a few months.

I got nothing for mother's day. Posted about it, wondering what to do because he was hinting around that he expected something for father's day. I wasn't trying to get revenge, it was more what message this was sending, that it's OK to treat me like I don't matter but it's OK for you to be celebrated.

I was the bigger person as you phrased it. My daughter and I decorated a card for him, I got him a gift, we went out to his choice of a restaurant, and amped up my daughter to yell "Happy Father's Day, I love you!" the minute he came down this morning. We went for a bike ride (his choice), went out to lunch (his choice) and I really made the day about him.

I was fine with this, truly. But at the end of the day I asked him if he had a nice day. He said yes. I said, "and that's pretty much how we should do mother's day too in the future, OK?" He agreed and it turned out not to be a big deal.

I got flowers.
He got lunch at a nice restaurant with all the kids.
We are fine with this.

I did not post but did not get anything for Mother's Day. DH is out of town for Father's Day. We would have done something to celebrate because he is a great dad but has a terrible, terrible memory. I would never do anything out of spite to him, why get married if that is your "MO"?!

Anonymous wrote:I got cheapo earrings this year for MD; it was my anniversary too. This was a major step up for my husband so I tried to be really gushy and have worn them every day. We went to a diner for breakfast, then I made lunch and dinner and entertained the kids most of the day. Today, for FD, he slept much of the day; I took the kids to breakfast then to the car wash then to shoe shopping and lunch. After kids' naps and me doing the grocery shopping, we all went to the pool. Then I made dinner. Oh yes, and his gift was an Ipad. Not sure how I rate on your scale of lousy wives etc. Right now I'm sitting thru the nightly horror show of putting our 3yo to bed; he won't sleep unless someone is sitting out side his door. Husband is watching a game. Seems to me he got a better FD, but maybe I'm just

says it all

DH did nothing special for me for MD, I did nothing special for him for FD. Totally fine with it. We spent both days playing with the kids and having an overal fun time. MD and FD are totally blown out of proportion, IMO.

I got cheapo earrings this year for MD; it was my anniversary too. This was a major step up for my husband so I tried to be really gushy and have worn them every day. We went to a diner for breakfast, then I made lunch and dinner and entertained the kids most of the day. Today, for FD, he slept much of the day; I took the kids to breakfast then to the car wash then to shoe shopping and lunch. After kids' naps and me doing the grocery shopping, we all went to the pool. Then I made dinner. Oh yes, and his gift was an Ipad. Not sure how I rate on your scale of lousy wives etc. Right now I'm sitting thru the nightly horror show of putting our 3yo to bed; he won't sleep unless someone is sitting out side his door. Husband is watching a game. Seems to me he got a better FD, but maybe I'm just

I feel like this year (and every year) there are many women who post on here about how their worthless H's did nothing for them on mother's day, and in revenge they vow they will do nothing for father's day. How many of you women followed through and did nothing? How many went ahead and acted like the bigger person, giving your H a nice father's day? Not trying to be snarky, there just always seem to be many women who pronounce they will do nothing and I'm always curious if they follow through or not...