Anonymous wrote:I guess my question should have been------once married, should one be able to assume that having sexual relations with one's spouse, if medically able, would be a regular occurrence without a lot of guesswork?

Are you asking for it or are you just waiting for it to happen with being clear about what you want?

Anonymous wrote:OP - how often did you have sex before getting married? If you are pressuring her, she is probably withdrawing more.

Op here---quite often before we were married. Its almost comical how quickly the well dried up after we got married. I am way passed pressuring her. I have given up initiating sex, I wait until she does but that is very, very infrequent. I actually thought about denying once when she initiated but didn't want to risk it because who knew how long it be before it happened again.

OP - how often did you have sex before getting married? If you are pressuring her, she is probably withdrawing more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both parties need to consent. If one doesn't, then there's no sex. If it's forced, then obviously that's rape, married or not.

Sometimes you can take one for the team, though, if you feel like it. IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT.

The whole taking one for the team thing turned my stomach. I had to fake feeling like it. And, alcohol and antidepressants stop working sooner than later. The marital bed can be hell on earth.

I really liked the whole "taking one for the team" idea until I read the last post.

Wow is right.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both parties need to consent. If one doesn't, then there's no sex. If it's forced, then obviously that's rape, married or not.

Sometimes you can take one for the team, though, if you feel like it. IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT.

The whole taking one for the team thing turned my stomach. I had to fake feeling like it. And, alcohol and antidepressants stop working sooner than later. The marital bed can be hell on earth.

PP, that sounds like you REALLY dislike having sex with your spouse, which is something you should really consider for the rest of your marriage!!! I'm not the poster that wrote taking one for the team, but I usually assume that to mean, "you'd kind of rather go to bed, but hey why not..." That doesn't sound like your situation. I'm sorry its so bad.

wow. and, wow

Anonymous wrote:Both parties need to consent. If one doesn't, then there's no sex. If it's forced, then obviously that's rape, married or not.

Sometimes you can take one for the team, though, if you feel like it. IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT.

The whole taking one for the team thing turned my stomach. I had to fake feeling like it. And, alcohol and antidepressants stop working sooner than later. The marital bed can be hell on earth.

I prefer Fios on demand.

Thank god, I'm no longer cuffed by this contractual obligation.

Anonymous wrote:I guess my question should have been------once married, should one be able to assume that having sexual relations with one's spouse, if medically able, would be a regular occurrence without a lot of guesswork?

yes, unless you gained 100lbs or something...i know you're supposed to love someone for who they are, but let's be honest with ourselves here.

I guess my question should have been------once married, should one be able to assume that having sexual relations with one's spouse, if medically able, would be a regular occurrence without a lot of guesswork?

Both parties need to consent. If one doesn't, then there's no sex. If it's forced, then obviously that's rape, married or not.

Sometimes you can take one for the team, though, if you feel like it. IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't exactly say sex on demand...that gets a little rapey. But it should be on a regular basis and mutual.

OP here---you're right, poor choice of words.

I wouldn't exactly say sex on demand...that gets a little rapey. But it should be on a regular basis and mutual.

Does marriage mean sex on demand? (within reason) Should it? My DW obviously doesn't think so to the point that I can't remember the last time.