Anonymous wrote:If you dont give money, what kind of gift is appropriate?

For girls: jewelry, a jewelry box, gift card, books, wallet/purse/bag (like Vera Bradley), pen, something related to an interest of hers (horses, movies, cooking, sewing, etc.), even a gift basket would be fun or something Judaica, although you may need guidance from a Jewish friend

For boys: nice pen, wallet, books, watch, gift card, nice duffle bag, carry-on bag, something related to an interest of his, Judaica,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you dont give money, what kind of gift is appropriate?

Money. Money is the appropriate gift.

some of the non cash items my DD received included a lot of jewelry, many gift cards, a few purses, some books and art supplies. If you'd rather give a gift instead of cash, go ahead.

Anonymous wrote:If you dont give money, what kind of gift is appropriate?

Money. Money is the appropriate gift.

If you dont give money, what kind of gift is appropriate?

My son got everything from $18 to $360 from a family that we barely see anymore and didn't even come. He got $50 from kids I don't even know and $25 from couples who came. My point is there is no minimum or expectation. Give what you can. I usually think about what I would spend on a "regular" birthday present for that child and maybe raise it a bit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family of four should be giving around $200.

No they shouldn't. It's ridiculous to place a set dollar value on a gift. OP, give what you feel is appropriate given your financial circumstances. My DS's bar mitzvah is in three weeks and I by no means have any expectations with regard to a set amount he "should" be receiving. People like the PP drive me crazy.

Yes, and people like you who think it would be appropriate for a family of four to give $18 drive ME crazy. That's why each person is welcome to post their opinion on this website - that's how it works. Each person posts THEIR opinion. I posted mine. You posted yours AND yours ABOUT mine. The OP is free to listen to whoever she feels is right.

Really, you'd really be put off if a family gave your DC $18? That seems incredibly shallow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family of four should be giving around $200.

No they shouldn't. It's ridiculous to place a set dollar value on a gift. OP, give what you feel is appropriate given your financial circumstances. My DS's bar mitzvah is in three weeks and I by no means have any expectations with regard to a set amount he "should" be receiving. People like the PP drive me crazy.

Yes, and people like you who think it would be appropriate for a family of four to give $18 drive ME crazy. That's why each person is welcome to post their opinion on this website - that's how it works. Each person posts THEIR opinion. I posted mine. You posted yours AND yours ABOUT mine. The OP is free to listen to whoever she feels is right.

Anonymous wrote:Family of four should be giving around $200.

No they shouldn't. It's ridiculous to place a set dollar value on a gift. OP, give what you feel is appropriate given your financial circumstances. My DS's bar mitzvah is in three weeks and I by no means have any expectations with regard to a set amount he "should" be receiving. People like the PP drive me crazy.

Family of four should be giving around $200.

Anonymous wrote:I usually do $36 cash and $36 gc for a store the kid would like. For non-close friends, it would be $18 and $18.

A lot of parents put the cash/check toward college - that is her logic. Anything in multiples of 18 is fine. For a family of 4, I'd probably do $72 or more depending on what you are comfortable with or can afford.

What is the going rate these days? My family of four is attending for the child of my friend.

Thanks !

I usually do $36 cash and $36 gc for a store the kid would like. For non-close friends, it would be $18 and $18.

Multiples of $18 (which stands for life). Thus, depending on your crowd, it is probably either 18 or 36. I think PP is coming in too high for a gift from a child, rather than from a family.

I recently spent around $70 on a piece of jewelry for my niece -- clearly we don't travel in PPs circle.

My kids have gone to several dozen bar and bat mitzvahs over the years. We have found the amounts given be guests range considerably. We usually give $50 unless it's a close friend or family member (in which case we give more like $100).

DS is attending a school friend's Bar Mitvah.

What is a recommended non-cash gift?

I assume cash is acceptable - what is a "standard" amount.

Thank you.