OP again: thank you all. All of your comments are so helpful!

When mine were that age they went through the EXACT same phase - and I had a nanny and no one was traveling. I think 16-19 months is a peak separation anxiety phase.

It faded quickly, so take heart.

If you have an iPhone or iPad, have your husband record a video saying "Good morning, son. I hope you behave at daycare and have a nice day. I love you." and play it for your son at drop off. Let him see daddy's face and message at drop off.

My DS did the very same thing at that very same age (he also started attending at 3mo.). It was very hard, but he got through it. It lasted two months for him, unfortunately and then magically went back to where he barely cared about saying goodbye to me. It's just a really hard phase. Try really talking up daycare - his friends, his teachers, the activities, a song they sing there. Also, if there is one teacher that would be willing to hold and hug him while you say goodbye, maybe that other consistent adult might help him. Can he develop a new routine where he waves and blows kisses out the window to you? Small steps to the departure. This won't make you feel any better, but my son did it again at 28 months for about 3-4 weeks. Now he's back to normal again.

First - you don't need it to be a choice - work or SAH. You're allowed to enjoy working out of the house AND being a mother. No guilt.

Okay, have you checked if some of your son's friends just moved out of his class and into the next class? Our kid absolutely loves daycare "I want to go see all my friends" but went into complete meltdowns two months ago when her three "closest" buddies moved up to the next class. If so, maybe ask the director if your son can go visit his friends a couple times each day? That helped us a lot.

Good luck!

We've gone through a lot of phases of this, many of them exacerbated by my husband traveling. A routine helps a lot, as does having something you can do on particularly bad days. For us, it's reading a book in the corner--if he's really clingy and needy that morning, I'll offer to read him one story before I go. I always specify one story and that when it's done, we'll hug and kiss good bye and then I'm going to work. The story gives him the couple of minutes he seems to need to adjust to being at daycare and to having to say good bye to me

OP here. Thank you so much. I think that the routine idea is a good one.. We usually do quick drop offs and let him walk in on his own (physically handing him to one of the teachers makes it even worse) but I think that doing it the same way every day might help.

Thank you!!!

Total normal at this age. Not that it makes it better - but in a few weeks it will pass.

In the meantime, make good byes as short as you possibly can, you make it worse when you linger to "make sure he is alright"

If he has a favorite teacher, try and hand him off to her. When my daughter was going through that, I would walk her in to her favorite teacher, hand her off give her one of the toys she likes and say "Mommy hug, Mommy kiss, Love you bye bye" and set up a routine. It was the same "bye bye" routine every day, so she knew what was coming.

It worked really well for her - if I "stayed to long" she would melt down.

Good luck!

It's probably because of or at least exacerbated by your husband's traveling. Kids process change differently. And there are "waves" of separation anxiety. I don't think my son had it at 19 months, but he definitely had a new wave of it around 14 months.

I don't know what your morning routine has been. Has it been a quick drop-off? Or do you linger for 10 minutes or so until your child is settled? I find that a quick drop-off is better and that my son cries or clings for 30 seconds or so after I leave, but then he's fine. (We've had this issue on and off for years, and yes, I called day care a lot).

I also used to talk about the exciting things he was going to do that day at "school," on the car ride over to day care.

And finally, definitely talk to the day care teachers about this. They can ease the transition by getting him immediately involved in some little activity when he arrives.

My 19 month old son has been in full time daycare since he was 3 months old. He switched rooms around a year with no problem, loves his providers and friends, and has learned a ton. BUT the last month morning drop off has turned into a nightmare. Screaming, tears, throws himself down on the floor screaming Mommy and Daddy. It is just horrible. To make matters worse my husband is traveling for three weeks for work and be is having a serious case of missing Daddy.

Any suggestions for making things easier for him? It just breaks my heart and I end up in tears too. Please no judging about daycare/SAH. I don't have a choice about working and this is new behavior.

Thanks in advance for any words of wisdom.