Anonymous wrote:This boss is definitely in the wrong. However, is there more to the story here? Did your cousin often complain about any work he deemed beneath him, such as gophering papers, etc...?

Of course there is.

And OP, we don't need cultural background to know your boss shouldn't ask you to wash dishes. That said, if my boss had some sort of a dish crisis (can't imagine) and asked for assistance, I would do it because he's been so great on so many important things that he's earned the right to overstep if there were good reason. Plus, he'd say "thank you."

This boss is definitely in the wrong. However, is there more to the story here? Did your cousin often complain about any work he deemed beneath him, such as gophering papers, etc...?

I'm a doctoral student working on a graduate assistantship at a university and there is absolutely no way my supervisors would ask me or any other grad assistant to wash dishes for them. Your cousin needs to take this up with HR. Tell him to bring the email and any other documentation with him to the HR meeting. Absolutely ridiculous that his boss would make this request.

I work in a university, and that's completely unacceptable behavior from the boss. Your cousin should write to the head of the department and register a complaint through the university HR. Is he working through the student on-campus work program? He should also seek advice from the international student's office.

Does this put tuition funding in jeopardy for him?

He should have explained the cultural issue when asked to wash the dishes.

If the boss wasn't busy, why couldn't he wash his own dishes?

I wonder how Americans would react if asked to scrub toilets for the boss during an assignment overseas...

It's def related to cultural clash and while the boss is clueless your cousin missed the chance to explain why he was not willing to do it.

I would have been pissed but probably would have sucked it up and just done it without complaining. I used to work in a law firm office where my seniors would leave their dishes in the sink instead of putting them in the dishwasher. Both the admin person and I (the only associate) would grumble but ultimately we just cleaned up after them. In the bigger scheme of things, they were good to work for, and every job has its crappy aspects. Your cousin should have just done it and not said anything, even if it's not really fair. Next time he should consult with you BEFORE he takes any steps like sending that email! (Especially if he's in a different cultural context than what he's used to.).

Hey OP, I do wash my boss' dishes as I agreed to that when taking the job (nanny). Of course, my environment (boss' home) is different than a typical work setting.

I do want to add that I am Indian too, and like you have grown up here. It never ever occured to me that it was beneath me to wash dishes that aren't mine. Different experiences, I guess.

Your cousin was asked to wash some dishes ONCE. It was arguably related to his job because he is the department gopher. I understand it isn't in his job duties, but most jobs say "other duties as assigned" or similar language. I can understand if it became a daily thing, but he was out of line to make a big deal about being asked to do it once.

While I wouldn't generally ask an employee to wash dishes, I would be very annoyed at someone who made a huge deal out of any small task like that. I don't blame his boss for firing him.

That's why he/she is the boss. As the Bible says, how can we entrust great responsibility to those who cannot handle low responsibility.

Pretty shitty of his boss. But then some people in high positions think they rule the world. Good for your cousin, if he's a good worker, he can get a job elsewhere!

If there are dishes that need to be washed and I can't do it, I do expect someone to get it done. And when I do have the time to do it, I usually wash my own mug/bowl/etc and any others that are in the sink at the time.

It is totally ridiculous that his boss asked him to do this.

Glad I don't live in India!

My cousin is here in the US from India to complete his Master's degree. He works in a department at his university doing programming and odds and ends for projects. Sometimes he is sent on gophering jobs like running papers between buildings.

Recently, his boss was in a meeting with other professors. His secretary was out for the day. My cousin was called in and asked to wash his boss's dirty coffee cup and breakfast dishes. My cousin didn't say anything at the time. Later, he tried to talk to his boss but the boss had left for the day. So he wrote an email, saying he would not wash his dirty dishes, it wasn't in his job duties. A week or two later, my cousin got canned.

Some background - in India, washing someone's dirty dishes is considered a low, menial, task reserved for those without education. It would be an insult for a boss to ask such of a white collar employee. Touching someone's used dirty (joota) is considered unclean socially, religiously and culturally.

So, was my cousin out of line for refusing? Was this just an example of culture clash? Or was his boss wrong for asking?

Fwiw, I was born and grew up in the US and I don't think I would have washed the dirty dishes either.