I stopped drinking on week nights (Mon-Thurs) and Only open a bottle of wine on Friday night. That lasts me through Sunday (if no one else is having it, DH will drink beer) and I feel so much better, my jeans are looser, my skin looks better. I drink seltzer with dinner (SodaStream is the best!).

It's not easy but I feel much healthier and much less guilt! I do make exceptions for the rare weeknight out with a girlfriend!

I get you, as I could have written this post myself a few weeks ago. For me, though, I felt like I'd have a better chance at success stopping cold turkey rather than cutting back, so thats what I did. Unfortunately once I've had a glass, the little voice of reason in the back of my head gets overruled and I have another glass or so.

I agree with the previous posters who suggested it's a habit thing. Switching out the routine while still providing the reward of relaxation/unwinding is key. FWIW I've had success with a cup of tea in a quiet room alone.

Wow, for a second I thought I posted the original post in my sleep. I quit drinking for a two week span six months ago and found it became easier as the days went by. When I went back to drinking wine at dinner, I made sure I didn't have the glass while cooking and also cut out the drink after the kids went to bed (I drink warm milk instead). I found that the one to two glasses with dinner were sufficient. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having one to two glasses with dinner! Enjoy!

Same, here OP! I always want a glass of white wine while cooking dinner, and somehow one glass turns into three more often than not. I don't think it's a dependence thing so much as it's a habit thing. I finally figured out that I was actually thirsty, and started drinking large glasses of water (sometimes sparkling) first thing upon arriving at home and while making dinner, and moving wine o'clock later and later into the evening. I go to bed early by nature -- wine or no wine -- so not pouring a glass until DS is in the bath (DH does bath) at 7:30, plus being hydrated with water, helped me cut back significantly. The other thing that really helped was just making a point not to keep as much wine in the house. If I don't have it available, I can't drink it and I eventually just move on from the wish for wine to other things. I still almost always want that glass or three of wine every night, but I really feel a lot better now that I'm only drinking a glass or two a couple of nights a week.

I drink diet toniic water with lemon; to me it tastes like a drink but it isn't. This has helped me cut back from wine every night to weekends only. If we are out of diet tonic water now, I substitute club soda, or even water with lemon.

I agree 100% with the PP... white wine spritzers! I poor a little bit of wine and top it off with seltzer water/clubsoda.

I do that when I am trying to cut back or lose weight and although it doesn't taste exactly the same I find it refreshing and passable

Anonymous wrote:My mother drank like this when I was young. My memory of her is that she was always so tired on weeknights. She would be just useless after dinner and in bed by 8-9pm for sure. By high school I was old enough to connect the dots. Some evenings she would say really cutting things and I realized she was drunk. She started to always say no to coming to my extra curricular events, even when I won awards. And I've had to help her to bed. She was always mortified the next morning but never made a change.

More than one glass of wine is unhealthy. Stop now. Create a healthier evening ritual for winding down. It doesn't have to only be a drink of some kind. How about soft slippers and bathrobe, a foot soak, a nice lotion, as well as some different kinds of tea.

Not OP, but in a similar situation.......this above post hit me hard. I feel like the PP describing her mother is describing me. I am useless to my kids by 9pm, too tired for a story, irritable.....and that is only after 1-2 small glasses. I don't want them to have this memory of me....to "connect the dots" and look back and think their mother had a problem. So unattractive and depressing. I am going to remember this post when I reach for that evening glass of wine next time.

OP - gee did I write this post? I have the same routine and thoughts, and am just about to start cutting back as well. Mostly b/c of PP's comments about me being a bit useless after dinner, which is a signal to me that it's not healthy for me or for anyone else. A couple of things I'm trying:

1 - although I know it sounds silly, white wine spritzers. Now that the weather is warming up, these are actually pretty refreshing to me. And it cuts the alcohol in half.

2 - seltzer with a bit of juice added to them (orange, grapefruit, etc.) or with herbs added (mint, basil, etc.) while making dinner

3 - designating school-nights as alcohol-free-nights, or at least nights during which we don't drink wine with dinner, which is when we tend to consume most of our wine. This will only work if my husband is on-board and that bottle isn't sitting right there on the table.

Let me know what you figure out. I think that, like you and others, this has just grown into a habit and I'm looking for ways to start a new routine. PP's suggestions about yoga are interesting, since "cocktail" and "dinner" hours are not really ever conducive to practicing yoga (I have visions of myself in the kitchen with pots and pans simmering away, doing the warrior pose, while yelling at my kids to stop asking me questions about their homework b/c I'm "relaxing". HA!)

My mother drank like this when I was young. My memory of her is that she was always so tired on weeknights. She would be just useless after dinner and in bed by 8-9pm for sure. By high school I was old enough to connect the dots. Some evenings she would say really cutting things and I realized she was drunk. She started to always say no to coming to my extra curricular events, even when I won awards. And I've had to help her to bed. She was always mortified the next morning but never made a change.

More than one glass of wine is unhealthy. Stop now. Create a healthier evening ritual for winding down. It doesn't have to only be a drink of some kind. How about soft slippers and bathrobe, a foot soak, a nice lotion, as well as some different kinds of tea.

For me, it really is a lot about the routine and that it somehow signifies time to relax. That means you just have to find a substitute that also signifies time to relax.

Sparkling water (with a wedge of lime or lemon, if you'd like) in pretty glass while you are cooking. Somehow drinking it out of the plastic bottle doesn't work; it needs to be poured into a real glass.

Now that we get milk delivered, I've started drinking milk with dinner. It is that yummy.

Herbal tea after dinner is probably better for helping you sleep, but that is the one glass of wine that I just have not substituted out. Although from a healthy sleep perspective, it would probably be better to have the one glass earlier in the evening.

Buying wine in the box has helped cut down consumption in our house. We would almost always finish the bottle. With a box, I really will have just one small glass. Smaller glasses help, too, btw. It also is great for when you need a half cup for a recipe. You can get pretty decent wine in a box these days, particularly Australians.

I somehow have it in my head that I can't drink when I'm the only responsible adult with the kids. So that means I don't drink while making dinner for the kids (since DH isn't home until 6.30/7) - not until they've gone to bed. I often would like one, but I settle for a cup of tea or nothing. Actually, sometimes I pop upstairs and lie on my bed for 5 minutes to decompress!

Anyway, sounds like it's just a routine thing.

Oh - sometimes a small bottle of ginger ale (looks like a beer!) works for me during kids' dinner time/preparation.

Good luck!

Maybe try smoking cigarettes as a replacement after the kids go to bed.

Could you try to cut back slowly at first to 2 glasses a night? One when you get home, as it signifies the inception of relaxation. And then one after the kids go to bed? Maybe substituting water during the meal.

Or maybe alternate nights of drinking. Would send a positive message to your kids that you don't need it every night.

Good luck OP.

It is not hard to not drink. If you can't relax without it I would be concerned, 4 glasses of wine night is a lot. Try exercise, yoga, sparkling water, herbal tea.... You just do it, hopefully your spouse will follow. It is definitely not a good example or your children. They are learning drinking every day is normal and how it is critical for relaxation and socialization, which is not true. If you also have a family genetic predisposition to alcoholism or addiction you are playing with fire in terms of yourself or your children.

I've gotten in the habit of having 2-4 glasses of wine most nights, starting with one as I cook dinner, another 1 or 2 as I eat, a final one watching TV after the kids go to bed... I don't know that I'm being a good role model for my kids, and I'd like to cut back.

The trick is, I'm not too good at will power. After a long day at work, coming home and having a glass of wine signals that the day is over and I can relax. On nights when I can't drink (at a friend's house who doesn't serve alcohol or only types I don't care for, out for dinner so can have 1 glass max before driving home, have to work late, etc.) it's not a problem--I miss it, but not a big deal. But if I'm at home and don't have to go anywhere, I'll have a glass and probably several.

I don't want to cut out wine entirely, but would love to cut back. Any tips from those who've BTDT? Did you find something else delicious as your after work treat? Convince yourself to follow a set of rules to limit what you drink? (Currently, I don't allow myself any before 6pm. I've thought of maybe insisting I have a full 8 oz of water in between each glass. Or buy half bottles and let myself just have one a night.) How do you keep up your efforts if your spouse isn't on board?

Thanks for any advice!