My husband and I are honest about who we think is attractive but then again, we are open about our emails/phones/whatever and don't care if the other reads them so I guess I can't really help you.

OP, you seem to me to be on the road to ruin, to a place I call, The Road to Ruin. (Yes, from SpongeBob!) Seriously, you sound...odd. Why on Earth would you tell your hubby you have an "honest attraction" to another guy?!?!?! I am a guy, and, that is quite honestly more stupid than most things members of my gender would do. And what the fuck is an honest attraction? What is a dishonest attraction? If you were dumb enough to say this to your husband, are you even dumb enough to expect him to NOT snoop on you?? He actually sounds like he still likes you. If I was him, you would be getting the old-fashioned hangar beating at this point. You will be divorced in 5 years, max! Wanna bet?

I don't know. If my husband knew I was attracted to another man, and felt the need to read my emails, I would happily show them to him. I have a right to privacy, but I have nothing to hide. I would probably be more concerned about reassuring him of my fidelity than whether he read some boring conversations.

OP is a troll.

Your husband "hacked" your email 3 times? Might want to consider better passwords/security measures.

OP here. Such assumptions. Do you know what he found? Nothing but a boring list of conversations about nada. The point is - he looked, without permission. For that, I am mad.

I haven't deleted a single email or text. I am just annoyed about the invasion of my privacy.

E-mail flirting with someone who isn't your spouse also isn't cool. You really are an idiot. This is a sick, sick dynamic.

OP here. No longer angry. Thanks for the feedback.

Curious? While undeleted texts and emails leave digital trails, what is your expectation of privacy in these venues? My assertion is that I wouldn’t expect DH to hack into my digital world anymore than I would expect him to listen into my phone calls. I am deeply hurt by this breach of privacy/trust.

I have nothing to hide, but I do have personal exchanges I don't care to share with DH.

We openly talk about attraction towards other people and whether I have whore-like tendancies or not isn't the point. Snooping on a spouse isn't cool.

Don't have whore-like tendencies and he won't have a reason to snoop.

Op- did you create this post to see what peoples' reactions would be if it is the husband snooping vs the wife? A lot of advice given to women who suspect their dh is cheating is to snoop. Just curious if you wanted to see if the advice is the same.

if you are real, you have a very strange marriage (at least from my point of view).

you find a man attractive, with no intention to do anything, and you go and tell your husband about it. I have eyes and meet attractive men once in a while. I enjoy the eye candy, but it does not cross my mind to share it with my husband. there are women far more beautiful than me out there (I am actually pretty low on the scale ) and I believe my husband sees them as well, and I appreciate that if he does, he does not share his impressions with me.

but more than anything, hacking into your e-mail and phone? three times? and you just fume and change passwords? for me, the first time would have been an opportunity to assess the health of the marriage and to engage in very frank talks about trust, respect and boundaries, the second would have been one time too many.

Unless this is just a game between the two of you, where you feed his insecurities and jealousy by pointing out at him other men you like, and after enjoy seeing your husband behave like a cave men, dragging his woman away by her hair

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:stop being attracted to other men

Yeah, why does your husband know this? Keep it to yourself, especially since you won't act on it, as you say.

Exactly.

Anonymous wrote:stop being attracted to other men

Yeah, why does your husband know this? Keep it to yourself, especially since you won't act on it, as you say.

stop being attracted to other men

I am still fuming. This is the the third time I have caught husband hacking into my email or phone to view my private correspondence. After the last incident, I was very clear that we are not a Venn diagram of an intersection and I exist separately from him with expectations of privacy. He's concerned about my honest attraction towards another man and is worried I would have an affair. Not my style.

I am super annoyed that I have to change passwords and pin codes due to my snooping spouse who has no reason to worry. I am actually very, very angry right now. ISO advice.