Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But why even bother pointing out that you wouldn't do it? How do women who make these comments think it makes someone who has had an abortion feel? They are basically saying "Hey I wouldn't do something that vile, but if you could do it, I support you."
There's just a certain holier than though sort of sentiment about it.

[b]Because anti-choicers have been remarkably successful in making abortion seem like a bad/wicked/selfish choice for sluts. So, right now, many people feel the need to qualify their pro-choice stance to seem more acceptable and less extreme. Which is bull, in my opinion.

--A pro-choicer who might or might not have an abortion should the situation arise.

OP here. Alright, I claimed I was bowing out, but I have to respond to this. Yes, EXACTLY!!! That's why these comments bother me so much!!!

I support same sex marriage although I don't foresee myself engaging in one, and I'm completely comfortable saying that. I don't get the argument here at all.

Ok people, I'll just bow out now and let you all flame away. Seriously, though I realize I might be hyper-sensitive to this subject. These types of comments have just always grated on me. Maybe they shouldn't, but they just do. Isn't that what these anonymous boards are for? To see if there are other people who share your quirky feelings that you don't feel comfortable admitting in real life?

By its definition, pro choice means that the decision belongs to the pregnant woman and only the pregnant woman, and that the fact that a decision is required means that different women will make different decisions. Pro choice is NOT pro abortion. The pro choice view acknowledges that abortion is a tough issue that does NOT produce one simple answer, and then requires that that decision be made by the pregnant woman.

pro-choice does not equal pro-abortion, it is hard enough convincing the pro-lifers of this without people supposedly on same side getting it confused!

I can sorta see your point OP, I imagine some women say these things condescendingly, but there are probably more women trying to speak to the moderates about how it is not about abortion but about choice...

Anonymous wrote:But why even bother pointing out that you wouldn't do it? How do women who make these comments think it makes someone who has had an abortion feel? They are basically saying "Hey I wouldn't do something that vile, but if you could do it, I support you."
There's just a certain holier than though sort of sentiment about it.

In my real world experience, people say that they support a person's right to do something even though they would not do it themselves in order to demonstrate that they have a certain amount of tolerance for different choices.

As for the abortion thing, I think it's important to note that even people who staunchly support a woman's right to get an abortion if she needs one usually do not say that abortions are AWESOME and everyone should have one. It's not the sort of thing that people usually do joyfully, no matter what circumstances lead them to the decision to get one.

For what it's worth, I support a woman's right to get an abortion if she needs one. I would also get one myself if I felt that I needed one. I would not feel happy about anything other than the fact that it's something I can do safely and legally, though. It's not a situation that commands joy.

Anonymous wrote:But why even bother pointing out that you wouldn't do it? How do women who make these comments think it makes someone who has had an abortion feel? They are basically saying "Hey I wouldn't do something that vile, but if you could do it, I support you."
There's just a certain holier than though sort of sentiment about it.

Because anti-choicers have been remarkably successful in making abortion seem like a bad/wicked/selfish choice for sluts. So, right now, many people feel the need to qualify their pro-choice stance to seem more acceptable and less extreme. Which is bull, in my opinion.

--A pro-choicer who might or might not have an abortion should the situation arise.

Anonymous wrote:But why even bother pointing out that you wouldn't do it? How do women who make these comments think it makes someone who has had an abortion feel? They are basically saying "Hey I wouldn't do something that vile, but if you could do it, I support you."
There's just a certain holier than though sort of sentiment about it.

How ironic. From here, it seems like you're the only one being holier than thou, OP. You're questioning someone else's committment to a shared ideology because they don't whole-heartedly embrace it in their personal life. You, though, you WOULD (or have) had an abortion, so your credentials as a supporter of the pro-choice movement are beyond reproach.

Ok..how about we change it to pro baby killing. Does that make you feel better? What a stupid thing to gripe about.

But why even bother pointing out that you wouldn't do it? How do women who make these comments think it makes someone who has had an abortion feel? They are basically saying "Hey I wouldn't do something that vile, but if you could do it, I support you."
There's just a certain holier than though sort of sentiment about it.

What you choose to do with your life decisions is distinguishable from wanting to tell others what they can and can't do with theirs.

I also support someone's right to be a member of the opposite political party than my own affiliation. And I disagree with pretty much everything they believe in.

This is one of the sillier comments I've ever heard. Seriously. "You support my rights, but you don't agree with me 100%? How dare you!"

I do not feel at all uncomfortable with those comments and they make perfect sense to me. A ridiculous example, but: I will never eat veal or lamb because I'm extremely uncomfortable with the idea of eating baby animals but I have no issue with my spouse doing so. It a choice I make for myself based on my own comfort level. It's not something I feel I can decide for someone else.

Carrying a pregnancy is a MUCH bigger deal than veal or lamb, and although I personally would struggle terribly with having an abortion, in no way would I think my own feelings or comfort level should dictate what another woman should do. I have two friends for whom carrying a pregnancy would have had disastrous effects. Both aborted. I don't judge them at all. Theirs are not MY life circumstances so I am in no position to decide what was the right choice. But I do believe choice is absolutely essential.

I am strongly pro-choice, and time and time again I've come across other people who claim to be pro-choice saying, that although they wouldn't have an abortion themselves they don't feel it's right to make that decision for others. I have a very good friend who considers herself pro-choice, but has told me that if she ever was in a situation in which she didn't feel she could raise a baby, she would give it up for adoption instead of having an abortion.
Something about this attitude doesn't settle well with me. It seems as if these people are in a nutshell passing judgement on women who have abortions. If you support abortion rights, why point out that it's "something you personally couldn't do?" Does anyone else feel uncomfortable about these types of comments?