Op again. Thanks helpful PP. Any more input is appreciated.

OP here. Go to General Parenting. There is a post about it. I did not know there was a name for it until I read that post. Then I decided to ask people who might know how to tactfully handle it. I am first generation and do not want anyone offended. It is not okay for anyone to use the N word G word (see above), whatever.

Oh, it's the pulling of the eyes? But how is this a "smirk"? A smirk is a smug, silly, or conceited smile. How does "pulling eyes" = "smirk." I don't get it!

I also do not know what you're meaning, OP. If it is that gesture as earlier PP mentioned, of pulling at the eyes, then I also don't know what good your nanny is trying to accomplish.

Anonymous wrote:OK, I am a Caucasian parent but I have an adopted Asian child. What is the Asian smirk?? I have even googled it but cannot find it??? Thx. . . .

+1

Anonymous wrote:OK, I am a Caucasian parent but I have an adopted Asian child. What is the Asian smirk?? I have even googled it but cannot find it??? Thx. . . .

me too. I googled it and didn't find but I think it is the same as pulling your eyes so it shows how asin eyes look like?

If it is that...well...what a f* drama. Is it really offensive? Please tell me I am wrong.

Show us a picture. I don't know what you are talking about.

OK, I am a Caucasian parent but I have an adopted Asian child. What is the Asian smirk?? I have even googled it but cannot find it??? Thx. . . .

i might be naive, but are you sure she wasn't just describing a difference from her eyes to your kids' eyes?

i had an older philipino nanny who always used to say "you're so lucky you have big eyes and that they're not like mine" - that wasuncomfortable

if you'll looking for what to say to her, what about "hey,nanny, could you please not teach them to close their eyes like that? i wouldn't want them to do that to one of their asian friends and have the friend feel they were being made fun of"

wth is the "asian smirk "?

I think it is generational sort of how the Italian American youngsters have adopted the G-word, AA youngsters and rappers the N-word, etc... What offended one generation or numerous generations and still may offend some finds a group that will spin it into an acceptable thing in their circle.

10:25 here. It's just bizarre!

I guess I would speak to her, see why she's doing, tell her it's very offensive, and ask her to stop with your kids. You can't control what/why she does things away from your kids, but I would definitely put an end to it with your kids. Good luck!

Thanks PP. She is from an Asian country. She is young, but socially aware and certainly should know better, IMHO. She has lived in the U.S. with her family most of her life. They all speak English well, if that matters. I was/am horrified.

Here is the problem - there are so many confusing issues here for children. Such as - it is okay for her to do it and not you; I just don't know where to start.

Asian poster here.

Is your nanny from an Asian country or is she Asian-American? Do you remember the whole incident where some basketball team (or sports team) did the whole Chinese eyes while playing in China (I think)? People here dismissed it by saying that if the Chinese themselves weren't offended, then why should Asian-Americans be offended? I think probably most Chinese in China, since they are the majority race/ethnicity, haven't had that thrown at them as a taunt like Asian-Americans have and therefore had no context to be offended. But here in the US, that's a very different thing. Maybe your nanny has a similar mindset? Have you told her that it's considered highly offensive to many people?

There was another post on GP that addressed children doing the Asian smirk. I did not know there was a name for it until I read that post. My nanny taught this to my young children and they love her, so they think it must be okay if she is doing it and she is Asian. It is how young children think. They have no understanding or capability to understand that only Asian people can do it. A poster on the other thread mentioned it is like an AA person using the N word. We don't use hateful expressions or words in our house, no matter who it is. We don't even use the word hate - it is such a strong word. The nanny dismisses it as if it is okay. How can she not realize she is teaching the children hate? I find it appalling that she would go against what the parents are teaching their children in the realm of beliefs and actions toward others. In other words, we are not helicopter or whatever they call it these days. But to teach our children to hate is unacceptable. I feel like she is deliberately dismissing how to teach our children to be socially acceptable, it seems like a joke to her. Would this be deliberate? Would this be subconscious hate on her part? How do we send the message that certain important issues, such as hate, are non-negotiable? I'm appalled, disgusted and really disappointed.