Maybe those of us who actually want regular play dates for our kids should start a forum here on DC Urban Moms, where we could connect by age, gender, interests (maybe) and location - even if schools don't match up. It would be nice to have the last bit, but I'd be willing to give that up for my DS to have other friends where the parents are as interested as we are in having regular play dates. Anybody else interested?

I think it is hard for working moms to get involved. Usually they play with children of friends or neighbors. Most wish they could be there after school to have the classmates over for an afternoon.

Thanks. OP here. I make a big effort to ask people and they do always say that the kids played great together. So I'm always surprised that as time goes by I start to realize that I'm really the one initiating. The kids are all really busy with schedules and it's sometimes hard to find days that overlap with the other kids' schedules, but I think that playdates outside of the school setting really help the kids develop their friendships more than just playing all together at school. It helps them have bonding one-on-one that can then translate into their time in class. I would think that it's me, but these are drop offs! I'll keep setting them up. I hope that next year others also start to call him. I'm sure that they are having playdates.

I have also had the issue of play dates - in pre-school I cultivated close friendships with two boys, and friendly enough relations with the moms, so that my son had regular play dates with these two boys. This year in K, it has been difficult at best to get this kind of effort from the other moms. My son benefited greatly from the play dates - no, the other moms no longer came along, and there was the occasional issue that could be made into a learning opportunity for both kids so that the play date was more than recess time is for the kids at school. we are hoping that next year in 1st grade we find more like-minded parents and can start up regular play dates again. My DS greatly misses them.

Kudos to you! Too many parents just think about themselves ie the aren't who said play dates
were boring unless she could chitchat. Why bother having kids if they aren't your priority.

As a private school teacher, I gently brought up the idea of playdates at a conference. The parent became very defensive and hostile, even though her daughter would have benefitted tremendously from having playdates with classmates.

At this age the kids aren't going with their mothers anymore. They are going home from school together and then being picked up.

Anonymous wrote:I have a very friendly boy who according to the teacher is well liked by his peers. Whenever kids come over to play the parents are. Ery friendly at pick up. He goes to other people's houses and everyone always comments on how well the kids played together. That said no one ever initiates the playdates. I am always the one to ask. Isn't this strange? (kindergarten, btw)

Playdates are a pain to coordinate and boring and awkward for parents if they don't know the other parents well. Honestly, they aren't my favorite activity to do, unless it is with a parent who I am a good friend with and can gossip or have casual chit chat without being self conscious. Of course, I love my DC, so I would go if invited, but initiating playdates isn't on the top of my list of things to do when I'm always swamped.

It's just easier to go to the local park if my DC wants to play with other children.

At DC's school, we meet up at the school playground after school sometimes for impromptu play dates.

We had this issue in our class and the teacher brought it up during conferences..ie asking parents to prioritize making playdates happen with all the kids. I think by her letting parents know that she was aware who and who was not getting an invitation..got them movtivated. I think it all then worked beautifully. Kudos to this teacher for caring. In the end this is about kids and all kids need could use an ally in the classroom. Too many parents think..well my child has the friends on the street or their little click and not care but if you are in a class of little kids..you should care that your child gets to know and is friendly will all his/her classmates. Now that we are nearing the end of the year..I see how our class has developed..really really nice.

OP, is this your first child? Do many of the playmates have older siblings? With our first child, we were much more active in setting up playdates. When the second arrived, we got much less proactive. Three reasons:

1. less time available to arrange playdates,
2. the two children play with one another, and
3. if we do a playdate for one, the other is left alone, so it works best to double-book the playdates, which is even more complex.

It's not you; it's me.

Well, I'm never the one to ask, but I generally appreciate those who do! I guess I never got my head around arranging my kid's social life (no snark intended -- kids friendships were just something that came naturally when/where I grew up -- neighborhood full of kids, as SAHMs, everybody went to public school) and my DC is relatively shy.

It may be distance, or that the other families have other kids they have to consider, or friends in the neighborhood, and your kid's friends at school aren't old enough yet to say "Mom, Timmy and I planned to get together today. Can you drive me?" That is one of the bummers I am finding in private school...my son's friends live all over creation.

I think some families just don't initiate a lot of playdates. I have a K boy and we haven't been invited many times this year at all. I think families, especially ones with older siblings, are busy many days anyway.

I have a very friendly boy who according to the teacher is well liked by his peers. Whenever kids come over to play the parents are. Ery friendly at pick up. He goes to other people's houses and everyone always comments on how well the kids played together. That said no one ever initiates the playdates. I am always the one to ask. Isn't this strange? (kindergarten, btw)