To me this sounds like a run-of-the-mill baby shower invitation. Get little gifts for the wishing well and the book themes. You seem to be looking for a reason to get offended.

Anonymous wrote:I don't hate her, I don't know her that well. She did something similar with her wedding shower. It isn't an issue of the money, it just strikes me as very rude to ask outright for additional gifts.

The whole point of showers is to "shower" the guest of honor with gifts.

I don't hate her, I don't know her that well. She did something similar with her wedding shower. It isn't an issue of the money, it just strikes me as very rude to ask outright for additional gifts.

I can top that. My friend hosted my baby shower and put in a note that said something to the effect of "Although little Kate isn't here yet, she has already made it known that she does not care for Winnie the Pooh, but enjoys the stylings of Janie n' Jack and Store X (an expensive specialty shop that I loved)".

I was mortified! It still makes me embarrassed to this day.


I would never tell anyone what to buy. It started because my husband dislikes Winnie the Pooh and his family kept sending us Pooh items. I didn't even take them back, I used them and told him he should have mentioned it to them if it bothered him. I am not going to cause hurt feelings over baby gear.

I don't think you should blame the mom-to-be for the shower host's behaviour.

I have never heard of wishing well for a baby shower!

Yes, I do think the whole string of gift requests attached to the invite is just wrong. I might attend if I was close to the cousin and just bring a gift of my choosing but I think your plan is fine too.

I think PP has a point. The invite basically asks for three gifts, which is pretty pushy. A card costs a dollar, while a nice book costs at least several dollars more if not in the mid-to-high teens for a nice hardcover. Tacky. But OP you could still go and just reapportion your overall budget among the three categories.

I agree that it can be annoying, but you don't have to participate in all of it.

You don't have to do any of it. They're suggestions, not edicts.

Why not just buy something cheaper from the registry to compensate for the purchase of a book, and whatever is in the wishing well? If you want to do something else, you're more than welcome to. Just let the hosts know ahead of time. I don't see what the big deal is, and don't find anything tacky about the invite. I'm sure the mother will be super appreciative of all the efforts. I think they are assuming everyone is close enough to the mother-to-be and wanted to do something extra special. They must have been wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got an invite to a baby shower for a cousin. In addition to mentioning that there would be a "wishing well" (for little things that new moms wish they had) and sending a link to the babies r us registry for larger gifts, they included a note asking us to please give a signed book in lieu of a card. To me this seems like an incredibly tacky demand for additional gifts, albeit small ones. I mean, we are already buying them something for their registry, why must we give them a book and "wishing well" gift in addition? I'm RSVPing no and just sending something from the registry.

This is awful.

Why?

Anonymous wrote:Enjoy the view from your high horse. Your response is so petty.

+ 1

Yeah, they want you to give the newborn a book to read. That is just so, so awful OP. It's as if they expect a diamond tennis bracelet from Tiffany's.

You are really digging for something to dislike here. You must hate the new mom.

Anonymous wrote:I just got an invite to a baby shower for a cousin. In addition to mentioning that there would be a "wishing well" (for little things that new moms wish they had) and sending a link to the babies r us registry for larger gifts, they included a note asking us to please give a signed book in lieu of a card. To me this seems like an incredibly tacky demand for additional gifts, albeit small ones. I mean, we are already buying them something for their registry, why must we give them a book and "wishing well" gift in addition? I'm RSVPing no and just sending something from the registry.

This is awful.

Enjoy the view from your high horse. Your response is so petty.

I just got an invite to a baby shower for a cousin. In addition to mentioning that there would be a "wishing well" (for little things that new moms wish they had) and sending a link to the babies r us registry for larger gifts, they included a note asking us to please give a signed book in lieu of a card. To me this seems like an incredibly tacky demand for additional gifts, albeit small ones. I mean, we are already buying them something for their registry, why must we give them a book and "wishing well" gift in addition? I'm RSVPing no and just sending something from the registry.