Hi, OP here.

Thanks for all the responses. It's really food for thought.

So my son is in a NAEYC-accredited school and it's good, but having visited the private school, it has NOTHING on it. Really. And to anyone who said that head start is as good but free, you haven't visited the head start programs. I have. I visited 7 of them because we qualified at the time. And they are NOT ANYWHERE in the same range.

So I have one question, which is that, at the daycare where he is now, and most of the schools I can think of, they do not offer financial aid. We are in a school that gives us some subsidy because of my job, but we couldn't move him to a different (maybe better) closer school and afford it. A lot of those schools are around $1800/month ($1600/month?). If we get really good FA, doesn't that change the equation somewhat because it's maybe the only way to get him into as good of a program financially?

I am in no way trying to argue, but just wondering if that changes anyone's thoughts.

Wow, tough situation. While I share your values (and grew up with parents in your position -- not a lot of money but education was the big priority), I don't think I'd invest in preschool (unless it was the entry year for a program that went through elementary, middle, or high school). The logistics are just brutal and it's not entirely clear what the value of the program is.

What's your alternative? Is there an NAEYC-accredited preschool available in your neighborhood or at your or DH's workplace? A good Montessori? If possible, I'd consider one of those programs for next year and the apply for PreK or K slots next fall at a school that goes through 8th or 12th (or Beauvoir if that program interests you).

My guess is that if your DC's application was strong enough to gain admission to a highly-regarded preschool in the area (NCRC, I'm guessing because those are the same logistics that daunted me!) , then it should be strong enough to get you into a good program that includes "real" school. At which point you have a longer-term commitment wrt financial aid and longer school day and after-school options that make the logistics more do-able and more compatible with FT employment.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I'm totally with you on good starts and wanting kids to love school from day 1. Luckily, in preschool, that may not be so hard to arrange!

You said combined income so I'm assuming you are working as well as DH. How will this impact your work hours? Can you flex around the school hours? 14 years ago I accepted the afternoon slot at the prestigious preschool because that was what they offered and I was happy just to get in. I regretted it because it was a horrible fit for DS (by afternoon he was too tired). It played havoc with my job and I cashed in every favor just to get him there and back. We left the school after 2 years when #2 was born because we couldn't afford to have 2 kids there. We switched DS to a cheaper private which worked out well for us.

I think I was so happy (and flattered too) to get the accept I was blind to the reality.

Absolutely not. You may have gotten caught up on the hype of the "right" preschool.

No. Not necessary. The vast majority of DS's classmates at his Big-3 came from "non-feeder" preschools. Save your $$$ to move to a good public elementary district, and apply when DS is in middle or high school, when there will be more financial aid available and/or your are in a better financial position.

Save your money. If you want your child to attend private elementary school, it is going to be $30,000+ AFTER TAX. And that is only for one child and not including after care. You are only taking about preschool. You do not want to go somewhere 45 minutes away. You want to be to have playdates and get to know the other families, go to the same parks, etc. That is to hard to do that far away.

If this is for pre-school only, then absolutely not. Find a school closer or at least one that has full days with before and after. Reapply for private later in the game or when your income increases and that second child has come along.

Are you actually in the DC area? I can't imagine anyone believing that without private preschool their child could not get a very good education in this area even if they selected a decent daycare center for those years.

Also, its not really an "incredible" start to his education. It's a good start to an education but then again so is Head Start and that's free.

It's worth it. Find a way and make it work - education is always worth it. My parents did this for me and I am forever grateful to them. You sound like incredible parents.

Best of luck!

Plus paying for gas then you will have to basically sit and wait as its not worth it to go back home. This will make it hard in terms of a job.

the preschool is:
3 days a week?
for 1/2 day each day?

and 45 minutes away?

is this PreSchool a part of a larger private school? if not, I would not bother. There are enough quality preschools in the area.

'preschool. Find one closer to your home that will give him a good start. Use your money to supplement with extra classes, music lessons, trips to museums, etc. 3 half days at a preschool will not do that. What you do at home is what will matter.


Apply to MS or HS when it will really make a difference. If you can figure out what he is really good at (music, art, sports etc) that you can help propel him into a good private school. Don't forget his academics and if need be, supplement his classes.

I wouldn't do it, especially for preschool. It just isn't worth it for anyone.

Sorry but in your situation...no. You must be doing something right in terms of education to get him accepted at such a young age. Continue to do what you're doing and find a school closer to home. You can always reapply.

We are a working class family and we recently got accepted to a really fantastic private preschool. We applied for FA and are pretty confident we'll get at least some (65K combined income). To us, who both grew up really poor, this is a huge opportunity for our son. It could mean better chances for private school. Right now it means getting an incredible start to his education - getting to love school and learning in general at this age. Mostly, we want our son to have more than we had... which is what we all want right? So we're committed to making it happen if we can. The problem comes with logistics.

We don't live ANYWHERE near the school. It took us 45 minutes to get there, but maybe we could learn some new routes. Anyway, not our neighborhood school. It's a 3 day program and half days. How the heck to we get him there and what do we do with him for the first half of the day?? The two days he is home, we have a plan. We just don't have any clue what to do with him for the first half of the day on school days.

Is there anyone out there who deals with this? What do you do? Can you find other kids in similar situations and share a babysitter? With a car? How on earth do you find other people in this situation?

And is all this effort worth it? Because we think it is. But we were not raised with the cultural knowledge about how private schools work, about how important these "hard to get into" preschools are, and whether it's worth it in the face of massive inconvenience.

We're also worried about whether we can afford a second child if we go this private school route. But that's another story.