Anonymous wrote:OP,

I've been a SAHM single mother. I lived off an inheritance for a stretch (several years). I felt it was an important time for my child to have a highly available parent. I volunteered when my child was at school. Before that I did consulting from home and now am doing the same as a single WAHM. I'm looking for a job so if anyone hired me I'll be a single WOHM.

What's the confusion?

My 45 yo friend has been living off her father (one son) since her husband left her 14 years ago.

own place and everything

OP,

I've been a SAHM single mother. I lived off an inheritance for a stretch (several years). I felt it was an important time for my child to have a highly available parent. I volunteered when my child was at school. Before that I did consulting from home and now am doing the same as a single WAHM. I'm looking for a job so if anyone hired me I'll be a single WOHM.

What's the confusion?

True PP. I am a single mother. I live at home with my parents in order to save money for a house. It is amazing to me that people are so rude when they ask if I feel like a freeloader or a leech because I live with my parents. I work FT and pay my own bills but I am temporarily living here to save money. Yet, these same people live off of their husband's money. I don't see much of a difference. They don't have any income of their own and are dependent on him for everything. I don't know any single mothers who can afford not to work but I guess a trust fund or large alimony settlement might make it possible. People are rude and nosy.

What is not to understand? The source of income for her to stay at home is not a husband but something other than that. It is a trust fund, savings, litigation payout, child support, or whatever. And it's really none of your business anyway, is it? It's amazing how when a woman is married, she owes it to her kids and is supposed to stay at home, but if she's a single mom, she's somehow a leech if she does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen this recently a couple of times in newspaper/magazine articles and thought, well doesn't that just mean you are unemployed??? Why describe yourself this way because it doesnt make sense. If you are single you just can't CHOOSE to stay home and not work, right?

It means they have chosen to stay home and look after their kids. What's the confusion, OP? They do it through inheritance, welfare, their parents supporting them, savings, child support, or whatever. Lots of SAHMs these days are also unemployed and are SAH because they were laid off; do you also think they should call themselves "unemployed" instead of SAH?

There is such immense jealousy on this boards of SAHMs. i'm saying this as a working mom. Its pathetic.

I am a single mom, and if I were laid off, I would call myself unemployed. For me it is a matter of intent and goals. If I intended to stay at home for a long period, and was not working outside the home intentionally, I would call myself a SAH single mom. I don't know who would be paying the bills or putting food on the table though.
And I am not jealous of SAHMs. Even if I were married, I would work outside the home. It makes me happy, and that is how I was raised. The women in my family have always had jobs.

I know guys who call themselves SAHD's who do contract work at night/ while the kids are in school, and a few who manage a family business. Even a few night shift guys call themselves SAH, although those are not single for obvious reasons. Many still consider themselves SAHDs because that's what they think of as their defining role.


I don't know if any moms do that.

I read a blog written by a woman who is newly divorced (like within the past 8 months or so) but has bad separation anxiety if she's apart from her 2.5 year old, so her ex husband bought her a house and basically gives her a living stipend each month to pay her bills and live on. She doesn't work, she stays home with her daughter and that's how she makes it happen. Not sure how long it'll last, but for now, she qualifies as a single stay at home mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen this recently a couple of times in newspaper/magazine articles and thought, well doesn't that just mean you are unemployed??? Why describe yourself this way because it doesnt make sense. If you are single you just can't CHOOSE to stay home and not work, right?

It means they have chosen to stay home and look after their kids. What's the confusion, OP? They do it through inheritance, welfare, their parents supporting them, savings, child support, or whatever. Lots of SAHMs these days are also unemployed and are SAH because they were laid off; do you also think they should call themselves "unemployed" instead of SAH?

There is such immense jealousy on this boards of SAHMs. i'm saying this as a working mom. Its pathetic.

Anonymous wrote:I've seen this recently a couple of times in newspaper/magazine articles and thought, well doesn't that just mean you are unemployed??? Why describe yourself this way because it doesnt make sense. If you are single you just can't CHOOSE to stay home and not work, right?

It means they have chosen to stay home and look after their kids. What's the confusion, OP? They do it through inheritance, welfare, their parents supporting them, savings, child support, or whatever. Lots of SAHMs these days are also unemployed and are SAH because they were laid off; do you also think they should call themselves "unemployed" instead of SAH?

I knew one who was a Frito-lay heiress.

I get alimony.

I think "unemployed" technically means you're looking for a job.

Ah

I know one. She worked a high level job, many years. Adopted a son at age 40. Has stayed home for past 5 years......she plans to go back to work. She was able to afford this.

I've seen this recently a couple of times in newspaper/magazine articles and thought, well doesn't that just mean you are unemployed??? Why describe yourself this way because it doesnt make sense. If you are single you just can't CHOOSE to stay home and not work, right?