In most of the families that I know the kid comes up with something on his or her own. For example, my cousin's kid uses "mom" when he wants either one of them, and "big mommy" or "little mommy" when he wants one or the other. He came up with these names based on their cars. "Big mommy" drives an SUV and "little mommy" drives a compact car. It's just his thing. He loves cars. And his moms!

If it's necessary for you to know who is who, ask. Otherwise, I think it's safe to assume they've figured it out themselves.

The one gay couple with kids I know use Dad and Papi.

Most of the gay male parents I know intend to be called some variety of "Dad" and "Papa". The kids sometimes choose different names.

A lesbian couple I know are called "GG" and "Black GG" by their grandson, since one of them has black hair. He decided this on his own.

The couples I know are Dad and Papa, Dad and Pop, and Mom and Mommy. By the way, the kids are not always adopted. Gay men father children too.

It depends on the couple. Some are dad and daddy (or some other variation, ie dad and papa). Some may have names for "dad" in other languages that they use.

I doubt they would mind if you asked.

Dad and MOD (my other dad)?

We both go by dad. Of course our kids don't yet talk (technically they say dada, but I don't think they appreciate the meaning). We figure that they will figure out what to call us.

I've never heard of a same sex couple using their first names with kids they both raised (as opposed to a straight marriage, break up and new same sex partner).

Anonymous wrote:It's probably Dad John and Dad bob or whatever their names are. That's how it is with most same sex couples with children that I know.

I have never heard same sex couples using their first names as this PP suggests.

We do dada and papa

It's very individual and there isn't a standard. Just like heterosexual couples don't always go by daddy/mommy or papa/mama or dad/mom or whatever. If it really matters, you can ask one of them, how their kids address them.

Maybe Dad and Papa?

The two dad couples I know go by Papa/Daddy and Papi/Daddy. In both families Dad is used for both parents (kind of like how I call both my kids "Pumpkin", a generic name.

It's probably Dad John and Dad bob or whatever their names are. That's how it is with most same sex couples with children that I know.

I doubt there is an established norm. I don't know any two-dad couples, but the couple of two-mom families I know each have different naming conventions. It doesn't really matter though. Probably not dad and dad, too confusing.

I would be horrified to ask them but I'm dying of curiosity. I frequently see a gay couple with an adopted child at the local park. I've heard the child call one of the men "dad." What's the norm here - are they dad and dad, or do they likely have different names (dad and daddy? dad and papa?). I dont know why I'm so curious about this.